Pedes. I'm an Aussie. An Aussie jealous of the fact that we don't have a genuine equivalent of the GEOTUS here in Australia. At the same time, Trump's 2016 campaign is what solidified me as a centre right voter, who values action over platitudes - independent "politicians" over focus group-honed puppets. I came home in the early evening Australian time just as Trump was claiming victory in 2016 (even before those fucking hopeless cunts at CNN could acknowledge it) and I told my wife that his election would change the world for the better. No more globalists. No more sell outs. No more Manchurian candidates. And I still believe that.
But pedes.
Here's my drama. I'm reasonably well off here down under. I sell myself short a lot I guess, but the fact is, I earn more than I think I'm worth. So much so that I'm laughing my arse off. Have been able to have 3 kids with my wife staying at home and not working, all while I work in an industry I like, and, despite my lack of credentials, am apparently good at.
And yet. I piss some (a lot) of my good fortune away on alcohol and drugs. Not enough that I'm some hopeless destitute cunt, but enough that I may end up squandering my good fortune at the expense of my family's future.
I am conscious enough to recognise this for what it is. And yet it still happens. I need help pedes. I know this community is filled with people that can play the man, not the ball. But I'm the man, and I deserve to be slammed.
I pray for the re-election of Donald J Trump (for his influence will positively affect Australia) and for the wisdom to put my family above all other bullshit temptations.
For the few pedes who will end up seeing this, I thank you for seeing it through to the end. Respect.
Pedes. I'm an Aussie. An Aussie jealous of the fact that we don't have a genuine equivalent of the GEOTUS here in Australia. At the same time, Trump's 2016 campaign is what solidified me as a centre right voter, who values action over platitudes - independent "politicians" over focus group-honed puppets. I came home in the early evening Australian time just as Trump was claiming victory in 2016 (even before those fucking hopeless cunts at CNN could acknowledge it) and I told my wife that his election would change the world for the better. No more globalists. No more sell outs. No more Manchurian candidates. And I still believe that.
But pedes.
Here's my drama. I'm reasonably well off here down under. I sell myself short a lot I guess, but the fact is, I earn more than I think I'm worth. So much so that I'm laughing my arse off. Have been able to have 3 kids with my wife staying at home and not working, all while I work in an industry I like, and, despite my lack of credentials, am apparently good at.
And yet. I piss some (a lot) of my good fortune away on alcohol and drugs. Not enough that I'm some hopeless destitute cunt, but enough that I may end up squandering my good fortune at the expense of my family's future.
I am conscious enough to recognise this for what it is. And yet it still happens. I need help pedes. I know this community is filled with people that can play the man, not the ball. But I'm the man, and I deserve to be slammed.
I pray for the re-election of Donald J Trump (for his influence will positively affect Australia) and for the wisdom to put my family above all other bullshit temptations.
For the few pedes who will end up seeing this, I thank you for seeing it through to the end. Respect.
Preach.
I guess this is the thing. I believe I want to, yet I don't. Earlier in my life I was overweight and I shed like 40kg because I was like "fuck this" and I did it.
Now? Here I am doing this shit. With a good life. A brilliant wife. Three beautiful children. Yet I piss my life away on this garbage despite wanting otherwise. Hence the call for help. Not that I should need it. But how do I get back to that singular focus of waking the fuck up and sorting this problem out?
I don't know man. I don't know.
So, I feel like you need to work on your self-esteem. You don't feel you deserve your job, you've got a great wife and kids, you don't think you deserve them. Drugs and alcohol can be a way to destroy what you have, so you end up having what you think you deserve: Nothing. This behaviour you're indulging in is destructive and can only bring pain and heartache for you and those you love. If you won't do it for yourself, you need to do it for them. You do not want them to hate you because you loved your drugs and alcohol more than you love them.
But you probably know that.
Edit: Also, this man you admire, Donald J Trump does not drink or do drugs. There's a reason for that. Don Jr also no longer drinks alcohol. There's also a reason for that. Consider why these very productive people have give it up.
Truth.
Absolute truth.
I have to covert my realisation that you're 100% right into fucking action. I have to. Not tomorrow, not next week, fucking today.
I've said it before and have failed. I have to find the fucking strength to DO IT.
Also, seize this opportunity to search out what you believe. Realizing Christianity was true helped me realize stuff like drinking isn't beneficial. Once you realize that, get away from the things/people that bring it on and get busy (work with your hands, start working out, learn a mew skill, research conspiracy theories) for that first bit. After that, things become easier. Stay focused and thrive.
One of the things they do in AA/NA is tell themselves “I might drink tomorrow, but I’ll stay clean today” every day, like an affirmation. They won’t drink today, and they get through it day by day. One day at a time.
You're right. I have plenty of those regrets, but they're tainted by the inescapable fact that they're a part of my make up.
That said, ten years from now I don't think I'll be looking back on my efforts now as a necessary component of who I am. It's an embarrassment. As if I need any motivation other than the fact that I love my wife and my kids, and my kids are the greatest miracle in the history of miracles. And yet, here I am. What the fuck, eh.
One of the reasons I admire Trump. He saw what happened to his brother, and he said, "you know what, that's not for me - no ifs, no buts" and despite the frivolity he's been exposed to through his life, he's stuck by that. I envy that conviction, that ability to priorise self and family above that garbage.
Former addict here... The reason you arn't sure weather or not you really want to change is bc you have no reason to. You haven't hit rock bottom yet? You haven't lost ur house yet, you haven't lost ur job yet, you haven't lost ur family yet, you haven't lost anything yet... but you will...
And is rock bottom inevitable? The only way out?
So, this may or may not be sound advice but is there something else you could find to piss your money away on that would make your life enjoyable too? You need something to give you that dopamine hit you are getting from drugs right now.
Some things that I think of off the top of my head:
Take up wood working?
You're in 'stralia, if you are anywhere near the ocean maybe take up surfing.
Gardening-learn to grow your food, maybe start a farm. I read a guys post over at consumproduct.win about goat farming. It was fascinating.
Start weightlifting if you don't already.
Make a list of things you think would be fun to try and start trying them.
Play board games with your family.
Check out local events in your area and take the family. I treat my town like I'm a visitor. I have the state's tourism page bookmarked and I'm always checking it for events happening around my state.
Learn a new language.
Visit local museums, botanical gardens, other touristy type things.
Take up amateur photography.
Join a local sports team - here we have softball, baseball, volleyball, kickball, frisbee golf, cycling and more I don't even know of.
Hiking - this one's my jam.
Camping
I mean there's so many things to do. Find something that gives you that dopamine rush and try to fill your time with that instead of the alcohol/drugs.
Try working a little closer to visualize your goals. Your life is good and it will stay that way, but what you might do to continue to focus on gathering assets and resources you start thinking like a prepper. Right now times are good but things always go badly for everyone at some point. Upon us all, a little rain must fall. Focus on the big goals it'll be hard to fall back into bad patterns. Always believe that what you have is never close. I think of what you want, and then think like a rugby player. How hard you push for that ball period with everything you have. do the same now.
My advice to you:
Don't forget to pick up your laptop...
Signed,
Hunter Bi.
This. This right here. It's solid advice. That said, my lawyers will be in contact.... :D
Take a humble knee. Pray!
Don't know mate. Was never the most religious. Until I had kids. Then I knew... There is something there. There is.
Maybe I need to give myself over to that. Something more than I'll ever comprehend. Something that will forgive me even my greatest transgressions. I just don't want to do that selfishly, like the only reason to do it is to absolve myself of these pathetic sins.
Just a simple act. Humbly ask for guidance. And listen with your heart. You are searching right now. God already knows you. You are being the judge, not he. Focus on what you are seeking then ask what must be done.
The important part is to listen then follow through.
I was homeless and I finally did this. It was a tough thing for a hard head like me to do. I asked what needed to be done in order to turn my life around. I received a very specific response and knew that I had to follow through. Within 1 week I had a job, a place to live and a future. I made sacrifices that involved my ego and letting go of my past. I followed through and years later I'm doing great.
I'm on God's team, forever. Not because I asked him to fix me. But because I asked him what I could do to fix myself. And he answered.
You sound like a good man. Be a great father and amazing husband. Do a little humble searching. He's got an answer for you. Be sure to ask the right questions.
And trust in your heart.
Thank you, friend. Asking for guidance, that's why I've posted here. I feel like I know the answers, but lack the stroke to follow through, and make up excuses for myself when I don't.
Weak.
Asking what you can do to fix yourself. There it is, huh? There it is. It's on no one else.
Also... Be a great father and amazing husband. Goals. Thank you for some real talk. I need to hear it.
You got this. You're way stronger than you think. Consider a jujitsu gym. Take 1 intro class. It will teach you loads of things about yourself.
Thank you. I hope I find the strength to do this.
You'll find it in your sons eyes.
Oh man. This. Absolutely.
Quitting is a personal thing and by that I mean it only works if you want it and you do it. Everyone in the world can yell at you for being a fucking degenerate and that won't be enough to stop. The only way to stop is for you to say fuck it, that's enough.
I want it. Apparently not enough to actually follow through. I pray I find the strength to do it before I allow it to destroy me or my family.
At the moment it feels like an indulgence. I can "afford it". Who am I harming.
But that's fucking garbage and I know it.
Alcohol was a really important part of my life. I associated it with everything from sports to socializing. To quit I had to relearn how to do pretty much everything. It was a really hard thing to do. I'm incredibly happy I did it but it was really hard.
Do you think there was a game changer that allowed you to get past how hard it was?
Time.
Time. I fear that's the enemy. If time wins, it'll be too late.
It may seem like quitting will fix everything but in reality it will initially make everything way more difficult. It'll take time to relearn everything.
Read Jordan Peterson's work. Start with 12 Rules for Life. It really helps with giving you perspective and direction in life, regardless of whether you're wealthy or poor.
I have it. Haven't read it due to a long book queue, but am,. of course, familiar with his work. I will follow your advice. Thank you for commenting.
It helped me escape from a dark place. Hoping you can get the same benefit.
God speed, brother.
^^^ THIS and I’m a female but am familiar with self defeating behavior and the shame spiral that follows. It’s like you know what you have to do but can’t motivate yourself to do it. Then you beat yourself up over it.
I am not suggesting you stop holding yourself accountable because I believe having accountability is good... but I think you need to treat yourself as you would a friend. Give yourself small goals and by all means get some help.
My amateur armchair psychology tells me there is a reason behind your drug and alcohol use. Maybe you have to come to terms with something painful and you’re using substances to self medicate and avoid dealing with it.
There’s a drug rehabilitation center near me that I can see on my daily commute and twice a day I pray for all those inside, their families, and the staff trying to help them. I’ll pray for you, too. I believe we all have a purpose and God wants us to be the best version of ourselves possible. Godspeed, Aussiepede.
How much are you spending a month on alcohol and drugs?
Alcohol I guess is pretty consistent. Maybe $500ish a month. Drugs goes up and down. But to my complete shame (hence this post), 1500 in the last 3 weeks on drugs. Pathetic, brother.
damn
I know, man :(
What sort of drugs?
And if you get off the drugs is there anything, in your mind and heart, that you think is really worth living for, at your age.
Coke
I had a feeling this was the one but didn't want to ask. It's such an addictive and expensive habit. I tried coke one time in my teens and I liked it. I knew I could never do it again because I would be an addict. I'm sorry you have developed this addiction and I hope you are able to get away from it.
fellow Aussie pede here.. I feel ya mate.. I have a family too, earn a good wage and probably piss too much cash away on useless things.
Not too much advice I can give , but to just let you know you are not alone.
What helps me is thinking of my kids growing up in this messed up world without a strong father figure now and in the future to guide them. To do that we need to be physically and mentally strong.
I guess thats our toxic masculine privilege they keep talking about.
Right on, brother. Thank you.
which city are you in?
i'm in Brisbane and also get despondent. am lucky that a few people at work are like minded, but it is hard looking at how woke our news is becoming.
everything we see here (except for Sky News) is now so biased against Trump it has become unreadable.
stay strong! go Trump....
The nation’s capital. Aka a place that is the complete opposite of my beliefs given its a Green-Left utopia.
Yo, I’m south of Perth based at the moment, but in short order I’m moving back to country Victoria. I feel you pede, I have similar issues and I often find myself having big self chastising bursts of motivation to get better, before just returning to the placating habits I’m always fuckin stuck on.
My advice to you, do what I’m doing. Move out country way, get some land. Grow your own food, play with the kids in a big yard, kick a footy and get back to the earth. None of the busy shit around, just the sun, grass, family and the pleasure of working with your hands for what you eat.
Obviously not everyone can do that due to work, but hell even if you move 30-40 minutes out of Canberra, you can find some semi rural plots in relative isolation. You’re in a den of thieves and liars my guy.
Good luck
First, your post caused me to de-lurk, so you have already created one small positive for someone else.
I've always been a drinker, but just went 5 or 6 months without it. Here is what I changed:
Started filling my time with good things: working out, hiking, my family, reading, and so on. I think that for those of us who tend toward using chemicals to alter our state need that--we need to cowboy/girl up and fill our time with the positive and productive activity. So, sit down and cone up with some plans and goals, then map out your path to reach them.
I'm not a believer. I guess I'd say I am a hard agnostic. But, I started praying every night...to God. I do so because praying to God gives me the chance to admit my failings, to refine what is important to me, and express gratitude and love for what I have.
I haven't done this because covid has made it too difficult in my circumstances, but I plan to get involved with community organizations by volunteering. Let's try to surround ourselves with good people.
Love to ya, mate. I'm American, but have spent some career time is Oz and loved the people, the landscape, and the food.
Wise words. Thanks for the de-lurk to send them my way.
others have mentioned Peterson's 12 rules, and I agree.
I also got a lot from Fogg's "Tiny Habits," Robertson's "How To Think Like A Roman Emperor," and Jocko Willink.
It is. Addiction leads to 1 of 3 places... Jails, institutions, or death.
Unfortunately your story resonates with me. We can do better.
Sending up a prayer for you - truly believe God is always the answer.
Maybe take a week off TV. If it's on in a room you have to be in, turn away, read a hand held device. No newspapers. For news, only the internet. That way you get to choose what you see. Not other people. Be aware that this may hurt. Try to do it anyway.
I would go to work by a different route. This opens the brain to change.
Try to eat more solidly, and take vitamins daily.
Your concern about prayer being selfish is misplaced. That kind of selfish is the good kind.
Thank you. This is good advice. I often tell myself this, and fail to follow it. Perhaps hearing it from another will strengthen my resolve, which is exactly why I posted here. Again, thank you.
One thing that I am sure of is that the 5eyes countries are Crown Properties.
The Crown is one of the main engines of the Globalist Cabals.
They are being destroyed, as we watch, it's just not obvious yet.
Hang in there, this weekend has to keep the momentum going,
the remainder of the year will go a long way to giving you inner comfort.
get off the booze and smoke more weed.
and don't forget to feed the Aussie strain of coyote,
your dingos.
If Nov 3 goes the way we think it will, I'll be a happy camper. I guess that won't change my underlying personal bullshit though!
Hey Pede, here's a few YouTube resources I suggest: Jordan Peterson (life advice) Dave Ramsey (money advice)
Books: 12 Rules for Life - Jordan Peterson Mere Christianity - CS Lewis The Bible (you'll need a study group too, that's a great place to find friends)
Godspeed. You're in a rut but you can get out
Thank you so much.
Basedmeddoctor on here is a psychiatrist. I can't recall his actual username but I have read a lot of his comments and he is pretty damn smart. Hit him up and perhaps he will have some suggestions for you.
basedmedicaldoctor
Thx
Thank you, I will.
Oh, I should mention something else.
I had a very similar past as you are having now, as far as I can see from your post. I ran onto some writings by Neville Goddard and, after a few weeks of total immersion in them, I am a completely changed man. Even my ex wife told me that about a year or so ago. My kids see it, too. They want to be aroumd me.
Go on the subreddit Neville Goddard to get started. But the person that changed my life forever was allismind and his subreddit. I'm not busllshitting you man. That philosophy and that way of looking at life saved my life. I am more successful than I ever have been but, most importantly, I can be seriously happy and content with nothing. And I no longer have addictions. And Allismind will teach you through his posts. Just start reading and immerse yourself in them. If you do this honestly I can guarantee you within a week you will be changed already.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ALLISMIND?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Thanks, I'll check it out.
Get help. You can't do it by yourself. The best help, imo, is God. Jesus is mighty to save, not just your soul but your life. He died that you may have an abundant life. Over 20 years ago I hit the end of my rope and gave my life to Jesus and slowly but surely he gave me the power to quit drinking, smoking cigarettes and weed, sleeping around, and even recently porn and masturbation. The sexual stuff was the hardest. Porn and masturbation releases chemicals in your brain which is highly addictive.
My wife and I went to a professional counselor for six year and that helped a lot. I'm a better father and husband because of it. I learned to communicate with my wife much better, as well as process my feelings and behavior better. Why was I angry? Why was I yelling? Why did I want to run away? Why do I have problem connecting with others?
A church is another great place to make friends and get help. Find a church where people are actively growing in their faith and in maturing into better people.
A few tips for breaking an addiction or bad habit;
Change your identity and see yourself as that person. For example, I am a "non-smoker". I am no longer going to identify as a "smoker". What am I going to say if someone asks me if I'm a smoker, or asks me if I want a cigarette? You will substitute drinking. And don't lie to yourself and say you can handle a drink once in a while. Admit you are an alcoholic and addict and then you can start to work on the problem.
Have a plan for what you will do when the cravings hit. For me I had a focus point so when the craving for a cigarette came I would focus on something to take my mind off the cigarette. I would go and do something to keep my mind off of it. What are you going to do when all your friends are drinking? You are probably going to lose friends that drink a lot and you will realize that they cared more about having someone to drink with than they did about you. Misery loves company. It's ok to lose friend because you will find new, healthier friends.
Do it for you, your wife, and your kids, and for your eternal life. Heaven and hell are for eternity and you will impact not only your eternity but your families as well.
God bless you! PM with any questions or prayer needs.
Alcohol is both the easiest and the hardest thing to give up. Between the social drink or the relaxing on the couch drink is tough. Go cold turkey on it all. Make it you and make that decision. And make that same decision no matter the temptation. You can do it!
Visited your lovely country (Sydney) a year ago on business; quite amazing.
I also overcame addictions in my life.
Some keys that I found were:
♦ Never quit quitting.
♦ Develop other addictions.
My addictions started internally based on personality.
Applying these to other things allowed them to habituate and take a life of their own.
This took time.
Maybe the next time you want to start a night of drinking, force yourself to do 1 thing first:
Go for a jog, 40 minutes of football, go to a gym or something with some buddies.
If you inevitably fuck up after a few days (like I did), don't beat yourself up.
But get back on the damn horse again the next day.
Remember the picture of GEOTUS coming back from MARINE 1 at 3 AM, tired, beaten.
Did he fucking quit? Fuck no.
Make the number of days between events longer.
For me, a schedule helped.
Ok, I'll just have a drink every weekend, then twice a month, then once a month...
Keep trying different strategies until something sticks.
It's the persistence that will beat the demons.
When I first started in the path (and things were very bad),
I also needed a spiritual education at a church.
This helped as well provide words of wisdom in the back of my head.
Agree. Wish I could get there right now.
Thank you.
Wish we could trade you for one of our liberal fools. I think you need to at least cut the drugs and probably lower the amount of alcohol you consume. Gives you more money to work with and is better for your health.
Agree, Pede. Thank you.
Was fat and decided to lose one day and did it. Quit drugs the same way. Remember how you lost weight and find it with drugs.
Also replace drugs with something healthy. Addicts will always be addicts. I religiously lift weights now.
Finally if you already haven't, confide everything in your wife. Even all the coke induced shit.
I haven't confided. Hard barrier to cross.
Become an American citizen.
Another Aussie here, there are some great replies here already but one angle I thought about is your health, if you keep abusing your body like that you won't be around for your kids.
It is clear you love your kids and clear that you can provide for them right now but if your health fails due to alcohol and drugs, things could be worse in the future.
Also, you should Google "Imposter Syndrome". You put yourself down far too much, you are clearly a smart guy because you understand that what you are doing to your family isn't a good long term idea.
I'm about to head into Eucharistic Adoration of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I will pray especially for you, Aussie pede. This year has been difficult for everyone all over. I've had a lot of ups and downs myself, thankfully not involving substance abuse, but plenty of emotional troubles dealing with world events and personal struggles. Prayer and time adoring the Lord always helps. Sometimes it isn't an immediate change, it takes some time, but He never lets me down.
I will pray for you, that you overcome your addictions and recognize the numerous blessings the Lord has bestowed upon you. And may He continue to bless you each and every day!
Thanks you, Pede.
There is only one thing that can fix anything and that's hard work. I got myself together by setting my will in Iron and never under any circumstances cutting myself any slack.
I was in the same situation a while back. No kids yet but a great job and a new wife and our first house. All good, right? Nope, I was drinking and doing other stuff to the point that some days I couldn’t remember the night before.
I finally hurt so bad I went to a meeting of people who had learned how to stop drinking altogether. You know what? They were laughing, joking with each other - and still had a deadly serious dedication to helping others recover from alcohol. They can help you too. But you have to ask, you have to want it.
As an Australian you have a huge culture of drinking - I know, I used to visit your country so I could drink like I wanted to without standing out. But you can escape this destructive path. Give AA a try, what have you got to lose?
Oh, yeah, I went to that meeting in 1988, I haven’t had or wanted a drink since. Good luck, pede.
say hi to Pete Evans, please!
I can try to help you, but deep down only you can help you.
First, if you haven't done so, listen to Jordan Peterson, read his book. I know 'clean your room' is a meme, but starting small is still starting.
Regarding your bad habits, the trick is to replace them with good habits. The second trick is tricking your mind into doing this naturally.
So, rather than just changing, say, your diet - commit to a small amount of exercise today. Say, do three sets of pushups, monday to friday. Pick one night not to drink anymore, or some other small sacrifice you know you can keep.
Here's the long term goal - in a few weeks, you're going to start seeing strength gains. You are going to want to add running, or jumping jacks, to your regiment. You are going to feel like the days you do drink to much, or eat too much, are holding you back. And you will slowly replace bad with good. Once you are on the treadmill every day, for example, who wants ice cream every night? Once you can run a mile, who wants to smoke?
The trick is starting small. Don't overdo it, don't hurt yourself. Start today. You won't be who you want to be tommorrow, but give it six months or a year and you will be a new man.
What drug?
Coke.
Powder or rock?
Powder.
The good thing about coke is that it's not nearly as hard to stop as it is with other drugs and you don't have withdrawals really
C'mon man...You've come this far. Tell us what's REALLY bugging you. Do you know?
Listen to me: you have only one life to live and when you do drugs and alcohol you make your life meaningless. Meaningful action is the action you undertake to achieve a wanted goal. Getting temporarily high or drunk is not a goal it’s an escape. If you don’t figure out what you want and take the steps necessary to serve that goal and start dropping the meaningless acts of drugs and booze then your life will soon be over, squandered, meaningless. Buck up asshole and stop being such a narcissistic cunt.
Surprised no one has mentioned Alcoholics Anonymous. With covid they are having zoom meetings.
give one a go and see if it resonates with you.
Alcoholism is a disease. I didn’t believe it until I watched a few videos. Alcohol/drug addiction changes the way your brain works. You have to let it heal.
I’m dealing with a friends addiction and it’s rough as hell.
Love, from a fren.
Thank you.
That first paragraph basically describes every other day for me. This is the reality check I needed. Thank you.
Men are good.
Anybody who ever sat indoors while the weather was bad experienced that. There are very few women construction workers. Men built that house.
Some of this is men being lectured about "toxic" masculinity, which isn't toxic at all, it's normal human masculinity.
Women are good too, but that is a story for another day.
Men should like being men.
But they do well with religion.
You must want to quit. You must want recovery. When that happens, you will realize recovery is never complete, it is a forever process.
21 years sober. You sound like you still have it together. To me it sounds like perhaps you haven't hit your bottom yet.
Buy $100 of bitcoin.
It will change your life.
Is that you Ebba?