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Jawn 27 points ago +27 / -0

A vote for Joe Biden is like buying a hot dog at a gas station. You know it's gonna be stale and soggy. You can literally see that it is. But you're so hungry you look at the advertisement and tell yourself that's the hot dog youre really getting. Then when you get to the car you scarf it down and think of all of the other things that your money could have been used for.

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deleted 27 points ago +27 / -0
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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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FOUR_MORE_TERMS 3 points ago +3 / -0

"I told em, you sniff that kid or you're not getting the billion dollars. He said, 'you're not the president, you can't do that.' I said call Big Mike. I'm leaving at midnight and that cheese pizza better be sniffed or you're not getting the money. And son of a bitch, we all sniffed kids that day."

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deleted 7 points ago +9 / -2
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FOUR_MORE_TERMS 3 points ago +3 / -0

I actually made a great vegetable lasagna once. Don't have a joke or anything. I really did, and it was fantastic.

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deleted 2 points ago +3 / -1
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FOUR_MORE_TERMS 2 points ago +2 / -0

I actually made a great vegetable lasagna once. Don't have a joke or anything. I really did, and it was fantastic.

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CousinEddie 5 points ago +5 / -0

A Biden vote is the dried out taquito, still rolling slowly at 8:55pm

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deleted 3 points ago +4 / -1
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Butthurt 3 points ago +3 / -0

It’s early, you may be hungry

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deleted 5 points ago +6 / -1
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Butthurt 3 points ago +3 / -0

Based and borscht pilled

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rentfREEEE_since2016 1 point ago +1 / -0

stale and soggy

and infect you with a parasite that will kill you in 20 years.