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Comments (32)
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98
deleted 98 points ago +98 / -0
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NvJohansson 79 points ago +79 / -0

When door knockers come to my place or Mormons come and knock on my door, I invite them in, offer them coffee and ask them if they have life insurance. They usually say no, so I ask them do you love your wife and kids? What happens if you're recalled before your due date? What happens to your family?

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xBigCoffinHunter 50 points ago +50 / -0

Lol this is amazing. I can feel the “wtf is this guy” building

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Silencemennow 40 points ago +40 / -0

Also ask how they keep their leftovers fresh and if they've heard of amway.

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sub-collector 11 points ago +18 / -7

Beat me to it... :|

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Silencemennow 2 points ago +2 / -0

Persistence makes the sale!

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sub-collector -8 points ago +1 / -9

Yes. Our GEOTUS practices it all the time! For instance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unzc731iCUY

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Silencemennow 0 points ago +1 / -1

Deported with a catapult.

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sub-collector 12 points ago +19 / -7

... and then ask them about Tupperware and what vacuum cleaner they have at their homes.

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neehl 9 points ago +9 / -0

Mormon missionaries aren’t married and also don’t drink coffee so I don’t know how this strategy works for them?

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GodzillaTrump 1 point ago +1 / -0

When facts come over to ruin a perfectly good joke...

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FollowTheLight 54 points ago +55 / -1

The Lord works in mysterious ways! and I'm not even religious!

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Lt-Aldo-Raine 39 points ago +39 / -0

I had one show up for the 2016 election. Her car had a "Smith* County Voter Registration" decal on the side, but didn't have state plates.

A middle-aged Karen, shaking like a shitting dog, knocked on the door.

"May I ask you a few questions about the upcoming election?"

"No, you may not."

The look on her face, holy shit! Karen was not used to being firmly told "no" by some fucking white male with a glare that could cut steel railroad track.

She backed away, got in her "official county car," and left. Of course, I called the county (I had a cousin on the county commission at the time) and reported the bullshit "official" decals. Didn't see her this year ;-)

[*changed my county name to something more common]

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ButteryFumes 2 points ago +2 / -0

Checks out. That’s exactly what Aldo Raine would say. “No, you may not.”

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Republicratarian43 31 points ago +31 / -0

Great news

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jamesgallden 24 points ago +24 / -0

Nice work pede.

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USA1 18 points ago +18 / -0

wat

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deleted 13 points ago +13 / -0
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aslaniscoming 12 points ago +14 / -2

no he's not lol

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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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10ShitLordsOfLeaping 7 points ago +7 / -0

..and there was a thuderous applause from the neighborhood.

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Txpede 9 points ago +9 / -0

I had a Biden volunteer call me on the phone. Spent as much time w her as possible. Less time she has to call other people. But after I was done, a part of me thought that I should have instead tried to convert her.

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xBigCoffinHunter 7 points ago +7 / -0

Ebony and Ivory...perfect harmony and all that

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Brookie2018 5 points ago +5 / -0

Well played!

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Emperorvoid 5 points ago +5 / -0

Damn well done Pede!

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ChocolateEvryday 5 points ago +5 / -0

Wow. Fucking timeline!

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ShadilayEveryDay 3 points ago +3 / -0

You made a new Fren! Get him a coat!!!

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Trump2k20 3 points ago +3 / -0

Well done!

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pepe_lover 3 points ago +3 / -0

🐸❤️🇺🇸

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Txpede 3 points ago +3 / -0

I want to know what you told him!

3
giantsoda44 [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

Not me. Just posted the tweet.

0
Pedeville 0 points ago +1 / -1

‘tacos and guac will be taxed 80% under biden’