6305
I laughed way too hard at this. (media.patriots.win)          REEEEEEE!        
posted ago by shamalama ago by shamalama +6305 / -0
Comments (199)
sorted by:
303
Magus_Strife 303 points ago +303 / -0

Man... every time I see Zuck I rethink my denial of the Lizard Person conspiracy.

111
SneakyWino 111 points ago +111 / -0

I don't know what he is, but he is not human. He used to be human, oh and he still is human.. .

77
QueenMAGA 77 points ago +77 / -0

Merged himself with AI

48
TheDonald4Life 48 points ago +48 / -0

Bill gates tried this and got a virus. Now we all gotta get shots, shots, shots.

13
HunterBidensCrckPipe 13 points ago +13 / -0

lol i dont know if theres any truth to this but the fact that it can be within the realm of possibility is astounding

9
RealRedneck 9 points ago +9 / -0

It's true. It's unfortunate that he did it too soon and the AI runs Windows 98.

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deleted -23 points ago +1 / -24
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vegaspatriot1776 6 points ago +6 / -0

DEPORT THIS FAG

38
Dr0neRec0very 38 points ago +40 / -2

"Merged himself with AI" Yet, he never seems to be able to remember anything his own business does behind closed doors. The man (or machine) that allegedly designed facebook doesn't know how facebook works at all when it comes to these hearings. Hrmmmmmm...

39
Brock_Lee 39 points ago +39 / -0

Q. Mr. Zuckerberg did you have a cup of coffee this morning?

A. I don't recall specifically but I can check my security cameras and get back to on whether or not I can answer that.

21
Dr0neRec0very 21 points ago +23 / -2

I want a compilation of Zuckerbot using that line over and over, with the sound of a jammed hard drive trying to spin up in the background.

8
TheHonestLion 8 points ago +8 / -0

Official Sources say androids cannot consume coffee beverage.

8
Dashmoomoo 8 points ago +8 / -0

Because it's covfefe.

9
MAGA_4EVER 9 points ago +9 / -0

Its his job to know. He should either be in jail OR the US government should start putting individual workers in jail.

7
TheHonestLion 7 points ago +7 / -0

Its his job to also conveniently not know...

6
TaxDollarsHardAtWork 6 points ago +7 / -1

He looks like Bill Gates used a swab from his own anus to make a clone that he could wire up with remote controls and sensors.

1
5minutes2midnight 1 point ago +1 / -0

It’s SOPHIE with flesh..

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deleted 24 points ago +24 / -0
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Dr0neRec0very 21 points ago +23 / -2

"his hair cut" It's designed for rapid removal and replacement, by means of a single cantilever and a discretely-located hex nut.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
3
Fadedglory 3 points ago +3 / -0

Zuckerberg thinks he is the reincarnation of Augustus Caesar and cutshis hiar to resemble him.https://www.breitbart.com/tech/2018/09/11/report-facebook-ceo-is-obsessed-with-roman-emperor-augustus-caesar/

1
RedNonna 1 point ago +1 / -0

Under-rated comment!

18
PosterIsDead 18 points ago +18 / -0

"Senator...... meep gloop beep moop."

14
PandoraBoxed 14 points ago +14 / -0

I think he wants to be Data from Star Trek: Next Generation.

9
LostViking1985 9 points ago +9 / -0

Instead he became a lesser borg drone

4
hungryfreaksdaddy 4 points ago +4 / -0

Maybe it's the warmth that Brent Spiner brought to the performance, but Data seems more human than Mark Zuckerberg.

3
HelpDonny 3 points ago +3 / -0

I see it!

11
unspecified_user 11 points ago +11 / -0

He really needs to give CastreauTrudeau's eyebrow guy a call.

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
3
DiamondsOnTheFloor 3 points ago +3 / -0

kek

2
DiamondsOnTheFloor 2 points ago +2 / -0

kek

36
deleted 36 points ago +36 / -0
22
HockeyMom4Trump 22 points ago +22 / -0

You would think with his money he could buy some eyebrows.

12
I_Love_45-70_Gov 12 points ago +12 / -0

And a decent suit.

8
shortermemory 8 points ago +8 / -0

He can get a recommendation from Justin Castreau

3
Tokyo20DrinkingGame 3 points ago +3 / -0

He's probably why Zuck can't find any. Trudeau rerouted the entire narrow supply chain to his house.

19
Magus_Strife 19 points ago +19 / -0

He's a billionaire and he can't hire one damn person to be his court jester and give him honest feedback.

"Sir, you would be seen at least 1000% more positively if you just hire an old school barber to cut your hair, the way he wants, not the way you want."

15
deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
10
Sleepyboy14 10 points ago +12 / -2

Zuck looks more like Gman from Half Life.

14
DrCowboyPresident 14 points ago +14 / -0

Nah that guy looked cool

10
TheHonestLion 10 points ago +10 / -0

Hes got the same expression as Data from star trek, but somehow looks less human.

5
YeDragonEnergy 5 points ago +5 / -0

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman 👽

3
Sleepyboy14 3 points ago +3 / -0

Wake up and smell the ashes.

3
TheQuickening 3 points ago +3 / -0

Have you seen those photos too! Hahahahaha...

And "if" there are Lizard People, we need to show the world those too! LULZ

72
OrngeManBad 72 points ago +72 / -0

The Zuck is looking more and more like a guppy

38
DrBJTester 38 points ago +38 / -0

There is something seriously wrong with that lizard give it some more dead flies or something...

9
barefootnit 9 points ago +9 / -0

Thats what I was thinking, lookn thin.

21
PosterIsDead 21 points ago +21 / -0

Dorsey looks like tried to keep up with Hunter last night. They're both pathological liars.

8
I_Love_45-70_Gov 8 points ago +8 / -0

All I can see is Radagast the Brown.

There's birdshit somewhere in his beard. We all know it.

5
Sleepyboy14 5 points ago +5 / -0

Nah, Dorsey looks like Rasputin after a drinking a binge.

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deleted 64 points ago +64 / -0
37
bigdickhangsright 37 points ago +37 / -0

feltch

Fuck you, I'm done with this site for the night.

21
DJT_JR6544 21 points ago +21 / -0

This made me look up the word "feltch." I am forever scarred.

9
lmao 9 points ago +9 / -0

lol same, don't bother folks

6
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
3
Thoreauly 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
friedchicken 2 points ago +2 / -0

+1

2
WilleZumLeben 2 points ago +3 / -1

I learned that word from Eminem.

2
KlausIohannis 2 points ago +2 / -0

Me 2.

15
Sodium_miner 15 points ago +15 / -0

Fucking hell man. You win, holy fuck. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

6
DrBJTester 6 points ago +6 / -0

You should probably write the Zuck's autobiography "My life as a Lizard" the story of Zuck.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
44
Tunawater 44 points ago +45 / -1

Zuck has the eyes of a 1990's star trek android, Something is off with him. Let a dog smell him like in the original terminator movie,. See if it can smell the machine beneath the meat.

12
Skatemyboard 12 points ago +12 / -0

Data!

12
Tunawater 12 points ago +13 / -1

Yep, but people liked Data and he tried to be human :)

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
38
Bruno 38 points ago +38 / -0

Look at these fucking aliens.

37
Canadiapede7 37 points ago +37 / -0

These two look like not only the biggest beta faggots ever but also the loneliest dudes on earth,

23
shamalama [S] 23 points ago +23 / -0

OK, the Zuck has a Yoko Ono wife/partner. Does anyone know that the Jack keeps chained to the bedpost?

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hiddensfinger 37 points ago +37 / -0

With that beard, a goat.

8
DrBJTester 8 points ago +8 / -0

That's racist pede he has three goats black, fecal and shit stain.

5
hiddensfinger 5 points ago +5 / -0

Guess you never been around goats, they like to be choked out by fences.

2
zwiebelsaft 2 points ago +2 / -0

Glorious.

34
DanIsSwell 34 points ago +34 / -0

You can tell Jack made an effort to clean up this time, because last time he looked like he’d been hanging on a dungeon wall for 10 years.

5
ButteryFumes 5 points ago +5 / -0

But why is he in his kitchen? That is bothering me.

2
DanIsSwell 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, that is weird! And, it’s small shelves with all small size dishes.

34
Russian_Hacker 34 points ago +34 / -0

Starring Tom Hanks

28
The_RedWolf 28 points ago +28 / -0

Jack looks like Great Value Rasputin and lacks his notable ahem attribute

3
covfefe_energy 3 points ago +3 / -0

I was thinking Anton LaVey's bastard child. So more or less the same.

25
deleted 25 points ago +25 / -0
13
HockeyMom4Trump 13 points ago +13 / -0

Money can not buy good taste. They both need help. Yikes.

23
AccipiterQ 23 points ago +23 / -0

How does anyone look at Zuckerberg and think "yes, this person looks normal and reasonable"

16
TheJimmReaper 16 points ago +16 / -0

Cuckbergs face looks like a character creation menu when all the sliders are set to zero

16
GreenMan12 16 points ago +16 / -0

I wish the Winklevoss twins weren't naive enough to trust a Zuckerberg.

We all know Zuckerberg stole the idea of FB from the Winklevoss twins.

9
Chick-fill-eh 9 points ago +9 / -0

Is that the name of the CIA agents running the darpa project?

3
gnome_chomsky 3 points ago +4 / -1

They were white kids raised by upper class parents. Historically where all the best ideas come from.

14
jennyfrutex 14 points ago +14 / -0

Mark Zuckerberg has plenty of money. He should buy some eyebrows.

5
FreedomFromGovt 5 points ago +5 / -0

Perhaps he can borrow a pair from his commie comrade, Castreau.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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TheJimmReaper 13 points ago +13 / -0

David Ike & Alex Jones have been proven right on pretty much everything they have claimed over the years, all except the Lizard People who secretly run the world... Then i saw Cuckberg and i start thinking, nope they're right about the Lizard people too!!!

11
Meme_Too 11 points ago +11 / -0

Zuck always reminds me of the robot butlers in Woody Allen's movie "Sleeper." Also, he looks like he was the model for the NPC face.

2
Jimmy33 2 points ago +2 / -0

Biden looks like the NPC model.

10
JBlaze056 10 points ago +10 / -0

Couple of evil dorks

2
covfefe_energy 2 points ago +2 / -0

Time to give them wet willies and bankrupt their asses.

10
Killroy1776 10 points ago +10 / -0

Filth like that will never rule over us.

10
JohnGaltwazhere 10 points ago +10 / -0

So, which one is the bottom?

8
DrBJTester 8 points ago +8 / -0

Both they are power bottoms.

5
zwiebelsaft 5 points ago +5 / -0

Going ass to ass with a zucchini.

8
MAGA_____bitches 8 points ago +8 / -0

Zuckerberg is damned NPC

8
ParticularIndividual 8 points ago +8 / -0

Is Jack a muslim? My woman intuition sensors say 'danger, danger' when I see a picture of him.

8
bellcurvestrikesback 8 points ago +8 / -0

TOPKEK

7
MODEL101 7 points ago +7 / -0

Where the fuck are his eyebrows?

3
DiamondsOnTheFloor 3 points ago +3 / -0

They ran away with Whoopi Goldberg's eyebrows.

7
deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
6
Dialectic 6 points ago +6 / -0

Zuck is definitely a robot. Look at this dude

6
MAGAMADE 6 points ago +6 / -0

😂😂 that is GREAT

5
envy923 5 points ago +5 / -0

WILLLSOOONNNNN!

5
KuhlooKuhlay 5 points ago +5 / -0

robot butler is the icing on the cake here.

4
QueenMAGA 4 points ago +4 / -0

Wilson3000

4
Mrsniffles666 4 points ago +4 / -0

Are these tech backed lockdowns made so the CEOs don’t have to travel to shithole DC for hearings?

4
based_unicorn 4 points ago +4 / -0

For real though, what is happening to Zuckerberg?? He’s slowly losing all human resemblance and is at about 93% robot now. Is there a conspiracy theory out there that the real Zuck was killed off years ago and replaced by AI??

4
Hangemh1gh 4 points ago +4 / -0

Is Zuck young enough to have been Jeffery Epsteins first child?

4
Odinius 4 points ago +5 / -1

I laughed myself to tears. Had a good 3 waves of laughter.

4
TravisRSCX 4 points ago +4 / -0

Zuck you just pass the butter

4
Shaffro 4 points ago +4 / -0

He never smiles. Maybe he can't.

4
Trumpnado_warning 4 points ago +4 / -0

LMFAO that is hilarious indeed!

3
Pepbrandt 3 points ago +3 / -0

What's up with Zuckerbergs hair line? It's totally weird.

3
funwithguitars 3 points ago +3 / -0

wow, haven't seen max headroom since the 80's

3
Trump2k20 3 points ago +3 / -0

These two are total fucking idiots.

3
Longhairedzombie 3 points ago +3 / -0

Add a small mustache to Mark Cuckerberg and he will be a spitting image of Adolph Hitler.

3
bundyfly 3 points ago +3 / -0

I think Zuckerberg is really Data from Star Trek and Dorsey has microdosed himself straight into Rasputin!

3
hillaryprison 3 points ago +3 / -0

"Wilson!!!!"

3
Hazzaconnor 3 points ago +3 / -0

I find it very tiring trying to resist the urge to punch both of them in the face. If I was to run into either one of them I'm likely to rearrange their hermit and robot faces. Neither one of their companies will ever get one red cent from me.

2
Grond999 2 points ago +2 / -0

Two BOSSes who don't cuck unfortunately and treat who they want like unwanted ragdolls. How many more hearings? The left certainly must be having some laughs over these globalist asswipes.

2
Don_Davenport 2 points ago +2 / -0

These guys are gonna look so evil in the history books of the future.

2
PensivePatriot 2 points ago +2 / -0

Mark lookin like Steve-O after the first season of jackass, but also clearly enjoying that pillaged Hawaiian land.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
HumbleMemeFarmer 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dwigt.

2
LadyGunslinger68 2 points ago +2 / -0

Are these two fucks even human???

2
Muzzah 2 points ago +2 / -0

🤣