12649
posted ago by Shadowman3001 [M] ago by Shadowman3001 +12652 / -3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY .WINNERS!!!

Let me start this out by telling you guys not to freak out.

We have no reason to believe any of the following is necessary.

BUT we have a lot of experience with internet censorship, and we like to stay a step ahead of our enemies (hence this site existing in the first place)!

So, down to business.

THE KRAKEN HAS BEEN RELEASED!

Because of this, it's possible, if not likely, that we have become an even bigger target than we already were. As our userbase grows, our Alexa rank increases, our media attention increases, so do the number and sophistication of our enemies.

But what do we say in the face of danger?

EAT A BAG OF DICKS YOU DIRTY COMMIES

To that regard, we have a few backup domains set up in case they go after .win.

Again, we have no immediate reason to believe these will ever be necessary, but it's more important to have a backup now than it ever has been.

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T LIKE TO READ, PAY ATTENTION TO THIS PART:

In the case of thedonald.win being taken offline, keep these URLs bookmarked:

thedonald.xyz

thedonald.one

thedonald.space

These are our backup domains. Just keep them on hand in case of emergency.

That is all

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

KEEP AMERICA GREAT

TRUMP 2020

TRUMP 2024

TRUMP 9096

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5
Phil_DeGraves 5 points ago +6 / -1

EAT A BAG OF DICKS YOU DIRTY COMMIES

As Louis C.K. noted in one of his comedy bits, how is this actually done? Does one begin eating the entire bag while it contains all the dicks, or does one remove each dick and eat them individually?

3
RiverFenix 3 points ago +4 / -1

You stick the bag of dicks OVER their head, so that their head is essentially inside the bag with the dicks. You don't need to force them to do anything, when they sleep a dick will slide into their mouth. After a few days without food... the dicks will disappear.

2
Phil_DeGraves 2 points ago +3 / -1

Hahaha. For some reason this vaguely reminds me... probably because of the bag... of the ancient punishment of Poena cullei, which is a hilarious read actually:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poena_cullei

2
RiverFenix 2 points ago +3 / -1

I wouldn't waste animals, but I bet I could get a bag of dicks for free if I stood outside a gender transition hospital

2
CuomoisaMassMurderer 2 points ago +3 / -1

Putting an entirely new spin on the old adage put a bag over her head

2
kc5ods 2 points ago +3 / -1

a more important question IMO is what are the dicks made of? are they human dicks? dog dicks? elephant dicks? whale dicks? whale and dolphin penii are prehensile, too, and operate much like a finger, so while they may not be finger-lickin' good, they're finger-fuckin' good.

1
CuomoisaMassMurderer 1 point ago +2 / -1

Prehensile dicks. How did I live my whole life not knowing such exists?

I did know an elephant can stand on his own dick. Not sure I needed to know that, but thanks animal planet

1
YourTendiesWillBurn 1 point ago +2 / -1

You lay them out end to end on the ground. Then you get on your belly and slither down the line like a snake swallowing another snake. Or not.