I thought Santa was the one immigrant they banned because he doesn't equally distribute toys to all the boys and girls. Too often he used traditional gender normative toys. His red suit is a dogwhistle to conservatives. There will be no Christmas in Cali. haha

https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-newsom-recommends-this-year-you-just-tell-kids-that-covid-killed-santa

Let them eat foie gras Newsom has just released a press statement.

He has personally reviewed and allowed only doggy style and reverse cowgirl during sexual intercourse but not face to face missionary position. He also states the male cannot "complete" on another persons face and has to either turn at least 45 degrees southwest of the sun or moon and point the penis at a 15 degree angle before ejaculation. Kissing is not premerited for more than 5 seconds in each session and both people have to wipe down their lips with a Clorox wipe after each kiss. A sexual session may not last more than 7 minutes and if it does you have to download and sign a release from his office. These are done for your safety.