(When approached about anything, loudly boast:) Hey how are you doing today? Awesome! Can you tell me where I can get one of these amazing happy muzzles for dogs I keep hearing about? Do they make them for farm animals like I have sheep, too?
It is illegal to drive while wearing a mask.
Do you have any made in china masks?
No, but could you buy me one? (Get them to buy a respirator and donate it to a medical person or the pharmacist)
Mask? But wait what about all the touchable surfaces here?
Please help me find a mask for viruses (they don't exist)
List of awesome rhetoric so far: