You know, I'm a smart guy. I went to college and excelled, have awards for all sort of bullshit academic crap and competitions with peers. I've worked in several industries, and done good work that I'm proud of in all of them. When I was young, I was by all standards an up and comer.
Over the years I've always wondered why I never achieved the level of success (massive) I was led to believe was imminent through merit. For some reason I just never got that key position, met the right people, was entrusted with this or that. Never got the dream job. Never even really had the opportunity.
Like I said, I've done some great things that I'm very proud of, but it's always been self-starting. It's never been the result of a lucky break or faking it to make it. I've never had a mentor.
Over the past years of these email drops, where we see intimate conversations between high ranking, high status people in world changing organizations and companies, I realize what I've always suspected:
These people are fucking lame and I really have nothing in common with them.
They are pretentious and self-absorbed, overly concerned with sounding intelligent and virtuous instead of actually being intelligent and virtuous. In other words, they're fake people - NPCs. So afraid of their own shadow and the precariousness of their positions that they would never dream of non-conformity or anything less than going with the flow. Kowtowers and utterly mediocre people.
Or, maybe it's just me. But I'll tell you, I'd rather be me than some insufferably pretentious cunt who emails board members on her list of "reflections" after a board meeting and expects people to read them with anything other than derision.
I was trained for all of this shit. I've served as Vice President of organizations and held several executive board positions over my life. But I could never get into decorum of it all. I wasn't a brute or anything, I can handle myself, but I was there to work, not be impressed with myself, and I realize now that people probably held that against me. I understand now that the reason people want these jobs and positions is to feel important, and if you take that away from them by downplaying the loftiness of your position, they resent you for it.
I remember once at a board meeting I was with a colleague of mine, and we were meeting at an office skyscraper in Los Angeles. The view was beautiful, and you really felt important walking through the glass double doors to take your place at the head of the table and sit in the black leather chairs, maybe pour yourself a glass of water from the decanter reflecting off the pristine glass tabletop.
This was early on in my life as a young guy, and my friend looked over at me and gave me this look that essentially said, "We made it. Isn't this awesome? We're super cool now! Look at where we are." And instead of being caught up in all of it, I remember almost rolling my eyes at him, because I didn't think sitting up in a beautiful skyscraper overlooking Los Angeles by night was something to particularly be proud of. Maybe it was a defense mechanism I used to quell my anxiety, because in retrospect, it was pretty awesome, but at the time I really just wanted to focus on the work that needed to be done, not congratulate myself for walking through the door.
As I'm older and wiser now (probably) I realize I insulted him. By downplaying the situation, I probably made him feel like his accomplishment of being there wasn't important, because he obviously was impressed with it.
I was raised around cowboys, hillbillies, rednecks, shitkickers and good ole' boys. If you know the type, you know the type. It's the type of guys who call their wives "old lady" and they don't get offended. Raised among these people, you know that if you "put on airs" you're in for it. They respect men who get things done. They're carpenters and mechanics and veterans all, and I can guarantee not one of the people who write these emails in this dump was raised the same. You can tell just by the way they talk. My dad is an attorney, but he always told me that some people are just different - like they had it together or something. It's the type of person who wakes up at 4 AM and goes to the gym, or goes for a brisk five mile jog, when our "people" wake up pissed off fumbling for the coffee machine and would rather relax with a finger or two of scotch whiskey, sitting on an old tree stump with a couple of buddies than go to the MET for the hot new exhibit.
Anyway, just my "reflections" on this whole thing. Maybe some people just are a breed apart, and maybe there really is such a thing as a deplorable.
You know, I'm a smart guy. I went to college and excelled, have awards for all sort of bullshit academic crap and competitions with peers. I've worked in several industries, and done good work that I'm proud of in all of them. When I was young, I was by all standards an up and comer.
Over the years I've always wondered why I never achieved the level of success (massive) I was led to believe was imminent through merit. For some reason I just never got that key position, met the right people, was entrusted with this or that. Never got the dream job. Never even really had the opportunity.
Like I said, I've done some great things that I'm very proud of, but it's always been self-starting. It's never been the result of a lucky break or faking it to make it. I've never had a mentor.
Over the past years of these email drops, where we see intimate conversations between high ranking, high status people in world changing organizations and companies, I realize what I've always suspected:
These people are fucking lame and I really have nothing in common with them.
They are pretentious and self-absorbed, overly concerned with sounding intelligent and virtuous instead of actually being intelligent and virtuous. In other words, they're fake people - NPCs. So afraid of their own shadow and the precariousness of their positions that they would never dream of non-conformity or anything less than going with the flow. Kowtowers and utterly mediocre people.
Or, maybe it's just me. But I'll tell you, I'd rather be me than some insufferably pretentious cunt who emails board members on her list of "reflections" after a board meeting and expects people to read them with anything other than derision.
I was trained for all of this shit. I've served as Vice President of organizations and held several executive board positions over my life. But I could never get into decorum of it all. I wasn't a brute or anything, I can handle myself, but I was there to work, not be impressed with myself, and I realize now that people probably held that against me. I understand now that the reason people want these jobs and positions is to feel important, and if you take that away from them by downplaying the loftiness of your position, they resent you for it.
I remember once at a board meeting I was with a colleague of mine, and we were meeting at an office skyscraper in Los Angeles. The view was beautiful, and you really felt important walking through the glass double doors to take your place at the head of the table and sit in the black leather chairs, maybe pour yourself a glass of water from the decanter reflecting off the pristine glass tabletop.
This was early on in my life as a young guy, and my friend looked over at me and gave me this look that essentially said, "We made it. Isn't this awesome? We're super cool now! Look at where we are." And instead of being caught up in all of it, I remember almost rolling my eyes at him, because I didn't think sitting up in a beautiful skyscraper overlooking Los Angeles by night was something to particularly be proud of. Maybe it was a defense mechanism I used to quell my anxiety, because in retrospect, it was pretty awesome, but at the time I really just wanted to focus on the work that needed to be done, not congratulate myself for walking through the door.
As I'm older and wiser now (probably) I realize I insulted him. By downplaying the situation, I probably made him feel like his accomplishment of being there wasn't important, because he obviously was impressed with it.
I was raised around cowboys, hillbillies, rednecks, shitkickers and good ole' boys. If you know the type, you know the type. It's the type of guys who call their wives "old lady" and they don't get offended. Raised among these people, you know that if you "put on airs" you're in for it. They respect men who get things done. They're carpenters and mechanics and veterans all, and I can guarantee not one of the people who write these emails in this dump was raised the same. You can tell just by the way they talk. My dad is an attorney, but he always told me that some people are just different - like they had it together or something. It's the type of person who wakes up at 4 AM and goes to the gym, or goes for a brisk five mile jog, when our "people" wake up pissed off fumbling for the coffee machine and would rather relax with a finger or two of scotch whiskey, sitting on an old tree stump with a couple of buddies than go to the MET for the hot new exhibit.
Anyway, just my "reflections" on this whole thing. Maybe some people just are a breed apart, and maybe there really is such a thing as a deplorable.