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posted ago by Outsidein406 ago by Outsidein406 +535 / -0

Whoever decided to call it the Kraken is a genius.

We’ve all been wondering what the Kraken is going to be. And lately some people have been getting discouraged because they haven’t seen anything yet.

BUT. Here’s what you’re getting wrong. When people think of the Kraken, they picture the mega-octopus from Pirates of the Caribbean blasting up out of the ocean and gulping everything down. That’s not a kraken though.

The real kraken of myth isn’t a big squid. That was something Hollywood started showing to make it look more dramatic in movies. In the original Norse myth, the real kraken lies in wait at the deepest parts of the ocean. It’s patient. It lets all of the fish swim up to it and think it means no harm. But it’s hungry.

When it’s time for it to eat—when it’s unleashed—it surfaces to the top of the ocean. But it doesn’t look like a fish. It doesn’t look like a squid. This thing is so stupidly YUGE that it looks like an island. It’s so big that it could strike out at any time and get food. But that’s not enough to feed its hunger. So it doesn’t strike yet. It lets the fish come back to it. It even feeds them so that they’ll trust it. So those fish draw more fish. And those fish draw even bigger fish. It even draws ships and people and everything else on the ocean because it looks like safe land. It opens its mouth and it’s so wide that it looks like the channel of the “island”. And when the people have sailed through that safe-looking channel and docked their ships and the fish are swimming around and everything seems the most pleasant for them, that’s when it strikes. And it strikes so quickly that they don’t realize what hit them until there’s no hope of escape.

So our Kraken has been unleashed. It’s been spending its time in the deepest parts of the ocean (or the state) and people have trusted it. And yes, if it struck now it could get a lot of food. But not enough to sate its hunger. So it puts out some more food for its prey—the GSA funds, anyone? And now things are looking great for its prey and they’re flocking to it in droves. But its time to close the trap is coming soon.

So be more like the Kraken. Be patient. Hold the line. It’s already been unleashed, and the meal is going to be great.

Comments (27)
sorted by:
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petejc003 37 points ago +37 / -0

Spot on

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Ask_If_Im_A_Cactus 36 points ago +36 / -0

This is one of the best damn posts I've seen in a bit

Thanks for this

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SobekRa 27 points ago +29 / -2

I'll fap to this if confirmed

12
meatballMAGA 12 points ago +12 / -0

͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

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JMaN 1 point ago +2 / -1

It's been confirmed.

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Generalissimo13 1 point ago +1 / -0

NNN

18
OrangeJesus 18 points ago +18 / -0

My 7 year old son came up to me the other day telling me about "if he was a clone from star wars what his armor would look like... To which he explained it would have a red painted kraken on it.... I have no idea where he'd even heard of a kraken but i'll take that as an omen....

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octopus 17 points ago +17 / -0

Nicely explained, i totally agree

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jigglyp33n 14 points ago +14 / -0

TIL my pp is a kraken

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Donkeyballs 10 points ago +10 / -0

I like it.

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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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Drawdraw45 14 points ago +14 / -0

Which goes in line with OPs analogy lol..

6
TXUSMCTX 6 points ago +6 / -0

I so believe I felt a single tear roll gently down my cheek as I read this. Well put.

6
steelbeams 6 points ago +6 / -0

Well written, fellow! I can picture it in my mind's eye!

4
Yeow 4 points ago +4 / -0

the GSA funds brilliant post!

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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Graboidzero69 3 points ago +3 / -0

Nice picture painting, i like it

Personally I believe the "Kraken" is a multitude of specops actions worldwide

each mission is a tentacle

so many tentacles you can't possibly understand what's happening at any given moment until it's all over

2
Chompz 2 points ago +2 / -0

Very nice way to look at it. Love your writing too.

2
EnemiesDestroyed 2 points ago +2 / -0

I love you

2
ENVYNITAZ 2 points ago +2 / -0

most excellent missive OP

2
Eshasta 2 points ago +2 / -0

If the Kraken is Dominion leadership with clear records of who, and how they cheated, I will run naked through the streets in a Biden mask carrying a flag that says "Democrats love diddling kids. #LaptopFromHell".

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Generalissimo13 2 points ago +2 / -0

You heard the man/woman. Hold the line, pedes.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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Reasonablebb 1 point ago +1 / -0

Well done. Thx patriot. God bless America. God bless our President, President Trump.