Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house A kraken was stirring, twas not a rouse The evidence was hung by the courthouse with care In hopes that a sane judge would soon be there The deep state were nestled all in their beds While visions of handcuffs danced in their heads And sleepy Biden in his Depends and Kamala in her cap Had just settled their brains for a dark winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The rumors for papers of the new-fallen warrant, Gave a lustre to the ideas people said there weren't, When what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a awakened Sidney Powell and Giuliani with cheer, With their pens a'flourish so lively and quick, I knew in a moment this wasn't a trick. More rapid than eagles their coursers they came, And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Clapper! now, Strzok! now Obama and Biden! On, Haspel! on, Brennan! on, Comey and Clinton! To the top of the fraud! On the list for the fall! Can't dash away, dash away, dash away at all!" As leaves that before the wild crossfire hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the planes they flew With a roundtrip to Guantanamo, and Eric Coomer too— And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the news The flipping to red states, how people can choose! As I drew in my head, and was turning around, William Barr came in with a bound. He was draped in a flag, I could see he was laughin, And there was a badge, it said, "release the kraken"; A bucket of chicken he had flung on his back, And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the hair on his head was as white as the snow; The stump of a bagpipe he held tight in his teeth, And the music, it encircled all ears like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a stodgy old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled the indictments; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, to the courthouse he rose; He sprang to his desk, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!”