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Comments (111)
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48
HalfBreedSupremacist 48 points ago +48 / -0

I don't shake hands. I just hug people tightly. Then I lick the backsides of their teeth.

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deleted 12 points ago +12 / -0
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TGNX 10 points ago +10 / -0

And super effective!

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OakiaPyre 2 points ago +2 / -0

I walk into the store with no mask, and no one says shit to me, ... but I'm also a huge guy, with a big beard. I get uncomfortably close to employees to ask them where something is, and aside from terrified looks they still do not try to tell me to put on my mask. I hear people whisper about me as I pass and I turn around to glare and they scurry off. Not giving a fuck is one of the best feelings ever, it gives me such a rush that I sometimes forget things at the store and have to go back in and do it again. lol

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HockeyMom4Trump 6 points ago +6 / -0

Oh, I cough into their face, let them cough into mine and then we breathe on each other for fifteen minutes.

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deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
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independentbystander 4 points ago +4 / -0

>I like it <3 <3 <3

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JackIsALarp 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh, Roger.

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KickingPugilist 20 points ago +20 / -0

I fucking LOVE when someone gives me a high five or an old fashioned handshake. When you run into a friend after a while and you get that crisp slap and shoulder to shoulder bump.

Where I live it's people avoiding you on sidewalks and crossing the street or wearing masks in parks lol. But when I run into a down to earth person, it's a blast from the past.

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BreakfastGun 3 points ago +3 / -0

The not too distant past.... sad to say....

1
NoahGav 1 point ago +1 / -0

pun intended?

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mytummyhurts 17 points ago +17 / -0

The pede secret handshake is just the regular ass handshake.

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trumpmixtape 8 points ago +8 / -0

When the civil war starts we're gonna have undercover spies trying to infiltrate FBI style.

Can weed them out in an instant this way. Back in the day people used to spit onto their own hands before shaking hands sometimes. Bonus meme.

Its like that stereotypical undercover cop who gets put on blast and has to either blow his cover or do a crime in front of everyone but always gets out of it at the last second because some guy starts shooting at them at that exact moment. Then theres the one cuck who brought the undercover cop in on the whole thing who gets hit and starts bleeding out but the undercover cop kneels down as hes dying and fires a couple rounds in the air like hes actually doing something, and cuck's final words are like: "i knew you werent no cop man" only for all his friends to get locked up 30 seconds later.

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deleted 16 points ago +16 / -0
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Maxberg 9 points ago +9 / -0

I still hold out my hand.. as someone who works in a salon, not shaking hands is the weirdest thing.. plus what's the difference if my head is a few inches for your head as I do your color? .. logic

15
Brobrah1775 15 points ago +15 / -0

I'm scared of its effects

On the minds of the feeble minded fools who can't think for themselves.

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MAGA9428 10 points ago +10 / -0

Forget worrying about shaking hands, I kissed a stripper not two weeks ago.

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Ganath 12 points ago +12 / -0

What was his name?

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MAGA9428 7 points ago +7 / -0

Fuck you 😂

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Ganath 6 points ago +6 / -0

😂 just busting your balls pede! Just remember to wrap it up.

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MAGA9428 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lol I knew you were kidding.

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Redclyde 3 points ago +3 / -0

Oh I thought his name was fhuk yhu

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MAGA9428 4 points ago +4 / -0

What the hell is that some sort of Vietnamese twink 😂

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Redclyde 3 points ago +3 / -0

Or Thai lady boy I don't judge

1
Ganath 1 point ago +1 / -0

Good deal, some people take everything way too seriously. Have a good night!

2
HockeyMom4Trump 2 points ago +2 / -0

I would love to hear the whole story!

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MAGA9428 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol, well, there's not a whole lot to it really. I see her semi-regularly and uh... We get along pretty well 😂.

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HockeyMom4Trump 1 point ago +1 / -0

So are you dating her or are you 8n an area that allows strip clubs to be open? Here in MN, no strip clubs because Covid.

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MAGA9428 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh I see, they are open where I am.

0
HockeyMom4Trump 0 points ago +0 / -0

You are lucky. We can't even go eat at the mall food court.

2
MAGA9428 2 points ago +2 / -0

Jeez, that’s unbelievable. Blue states have almost turned into a dystopian landscape. Everything is illegal except rioting and crime.

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HockeyMom4Trump 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yep. Here in MN they have closed all our ice arenas, too. Kids can't play hockey, can't go to school, can't get a meal at the food court...it is terrible.

1
LoneStarDangler 1 point ago +1 / -0

Thank you for your service! We love our Marines!

2
MAGA9428 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh I’m not a marine, sorry.

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LoneStarDangler 2 points ago +2 / -0

You're halfway there already, go see a recruiter.

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Alexbarr86 8 points ago +8 / -0

As a Hispanic, I am very touchy feely, I give hugs and kisses without thinking about it twice. Covid isn't gonna stop me from bringing love to everyone around me

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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SpezDispenser 7 points ago +7 / -0

Shook two new hires hads this morn. Both couldve had Covid and AIDS, idgaf. Its called an Immune System.

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benjamin_spankline 7 points ago +7 / -0

I held out my hand to a dude for a handshake after we did a business deal. He recoiled his whole body away. I lost all respect for that guy right then and there forever. Never bought from him again.

2
MikeVicksAstrologist 2 points ago +2 / -0

This.

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GCotN 7 points ago +7 / -0

No.

One good thing about all this is that people stopped putting out their appendage and expecting me to touch them.

No.

P.S. I am autistic and can't stand being touched or touching anyone other than my wife. (that took 3 years)

2
brother_red 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, lol.

Learned to fistbump 15 years ago.

Always been a germophobe anyway.

And I've seen WAY too many nasty motherfuckers not wash their hands after shitting in the mens room.

If someone really wants to shake hands, fine, but in my mind that hand is marked as "contaminated" until I can go wash it.

2
GCotN 2 points ago +2 / -0

When your hand becomes the Glowie.

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A_Russian_Wall 7 points ago +7 / -0

Angry baby yoda sounds

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CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

We actually learned his name in last week's episode.

5
inspir3dgenius 5 points ago +5 / -0

At the time of this post I have not seen it, but I am predicting it isn't Jeb!

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A_Russian_Wall 5 points ago +5 / -0

I know but it was dumb so I'm using Baby Yoda

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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genghis_khek 3 points ago +4 / -1

Ya it's DoJaTrump

1
ScuffAndy 1 point ago +1 / -0

When you learn baby yoda isn't baby yoda 🤯

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Bundleshee 7 points ago +7 / -0

Right when it all started and people were panic buying I had a long conversation at the grocery store with a worker there. Guy was based as fuck. He talked about how it was all bullshit and how he wanted to dome pedophiles. After about an hour we both looked each other in the eyes and shared a firm handshake. That little moment was like a big fuck you.

I never saw him again. Unfortunately he may have been fired

I'll never forget you man.

Keep fighting the fight.

6
Nfish20 6 points ago +6 / -0

Working in construction, (all cases were from home events) we always shake hands no mask. Not a single case has been tracked to outdoor construction.

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NavyRN 5 points ago +5 / -0

Sorry, didn’t like to shake hands with people to begin with since most dudes don’t wash their hands after urinating or deficating. Fist bumps are cool though!

1
brother_red 1 point ago +1 / -0

Same. Way too many nasty fucks out there.

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QuestGiver 4 points ago +4 / -0

I’ve always been conflicted on handshakes. I get it’s the norm but who thought the best way for me to greet another dude is to hold hands for a little bit?

4
Cminc 4 points ago +4 / -0

A smart gentlemen who wanted an easy way to tell the dudes from the wretched posers.

You can learn a lot from a handshake. From someone's experience and comfort in their own skin, to their general demeanor and outlook. Pretty important if their ability in a given task is paramount.

If a well dressed, well groomed, seemingly qualified man botches a handshake, you know he's worth missing out on. If it's too fast, he's nervous and a pussy. Too firm, he's easily intimidated. Too soft or floaty, he's a socially akward. Too jumpy, he's a liar and a stuck up prick. All fingers or Cant meet your hand properly, he's an idiot or a goldmine (depending on whether youre hiring him or selling to him.)

Dead fucking serious, dude.

2
LoneStarDangler 2 points ago +2 / -0

You might be reading too much into this stuff. I've met and worked with plenty of capable and honest men with sub par handshakes. However, I've never met a conman with a bad handshake.

1
anthemstander 1 point ago +1 / -0

J. Edgar Hoover would shake hands with job applicants and reject them if they had sweaty palms. Not FBI material, I guess.

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secretbern 2 points ago +2 / -0

It’s about power.

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CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'm reminded of the old King of the Hill episode where Hank shook the hand of George W. Bush during Bush's re-election campaign, and Hank was horrified to find out that Bush had a limp handshake. After that, he wasn't sure if he could vote for the man or not (the end of the episode left it ambiguous as whether he did or not).

2
MSG1000 2 points ago +2 / -0

Show of trust by getting close and a test of body language.

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

in fact I hope I do get Covid so I could get it and get over it.

It's very possible you already had it and never even knew it, and now you're immune.

Covid, the disease that's so deadly you have to get tested to know if you had it.

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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PurplePunch36 4 points ago +4 / -0

Earlier this year we worked from home for a few months. During that time we had record breaking months in sales. More than capable of working from home if we had to. I personally would rather be in the office since my job is just easier, however fuck having a mask on. Why wear a mask if I can just work from home?

Now that we have been back in the office the majority of the summer, fall and now into winter we just had another Covid case at work and they are starting to say to wear a mask in the workplace. Why? Why don’t we just work from home? Less heads less chance of spreading the CCP Virus...we can still do our jobs? Needless to say I haven’t worn a mask yet.

3
ZombieVote2024 3 points ago +3 / -0

A cooof.

3
Brooklyn_Patriot_76 3 points ago +3 / -0

this is the way

3
Maxberg 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol, another co worker and I hug each other in front of clients when I see her at the beginning of the week

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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Cyer6 5 points ago +5 / -0

I've got it right now and I'm in the elevated age risk range. Started out as body aches and pain, moved to a little lung congestion, mild fever, loss of taste and smell. I upped my vitamin C and D and fluid intake and after a couple of days, most of the major symptoms are gone. I've had colds that are much worse and certainly the flu is much more difficult to knock out.

I can't believe they were able to get away with this scam. My wife who's a couple years older also caught it and she also knocked it out in just a few days. I'm more pissed off now, now that I've gone through it and licked it in just a few days.

3
ltpayne 3 points ago +3 / -0

I shake if it's offered. If somebody's not willing I'm not going to force them I mean maybe they were just picking their ass or something and they're trying to save me from it.

3
ChicagoMAGA 3 points ago +3 / -0

Let's do that casual fascist salute. The one that is just a quick wave.

1
trumpmixtape 1 point ago +1 / -0

Sieg Heil?

3
Star_Commander 3 points ago +4 / -1

I don't shake hands and I wear a mask.

It's my body, it's my choice.

You can make your own risk assessment and I won't judge you for it.

Unless you are wearing the mask as a chinstrap. I judge that, though it is still your right.

You just look REALLY DUMB.

2
LoneStarDangler 2 points ago +2 / -0

If you wear any sort of cloth mask, I know that you are a sheep. If I see you in something that actually offers protection, I can respect that you are either in real danger or have someone close to you that is.

1
Star_Commander 1 point ago +1 / -0

I had enough N95 masks in storage that I was donating to my hospital.

Still have enough for one more season for my family.

I work with people that are regularly in at least one if not two high risk categories for COVID and I've been reading the FEMA and CDC updates fairly religiously.

I also volunteer at shelters, food distribution points, etc.

In my situation, it's not about me.

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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IWI9000 3 points ago +3 / -0

I shake hands and then remind folks that they can still smell my farts through my clothe pants and underwear...like thier masks.

2
wartooth6 2 points ago +2 / -0

Mando show is unexpectedly based. The themes evoke the Wild West, is decidedly pro gun and save the children. (They were literally abducting and harvesting the blood of children for their cult, that's some Alex Jones level shit right there). I could keep going.

https://thedonald.win/p/11QS2tOAq7/if-you-ever-steal-from-trump-you/c/

3
CisSiberianOrchestra [S] 3 points ago +3 / -0

The two main creators of the show are Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau, two men who are true Star Wars fans and genuinely love the setting and want to do it justice. In fact, George Lucas once called Dave Filoni "my padawan." Filoni was also behind the excellent Clone Wars animated series, and the pretty good Star Wars: Rebels animated series.

This stands in contrast to the sequel trilogy. The Force Awakens and The Rise of Skywalker were made by J.J. Abrams, who is good at evoking nostalgia but doesn't have many original ideas. The worst Star Wars film, the Last Jedi, was made by Rian Johnson; a hipster douche who wanted to "subvert expectations."

2
PoorKidsJustAsBright 2 points ago +2 / -0

Every time I offer people a handshake, they sigh in relief and return it.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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pinchitony 2 points ago +3 / -1

It means "peace among worlds"

2
Ganath 2 points ago +2 / -0

I didn’t shake hands before this nonsense came about, except with people I know well. I also am a stickler for personal space while in public places. It’s just a coincidence that I rarely get sick, has nothing to do with good practices in public.

2
Zippythekid 2 points ago +2 / -0

It’s funny, I met an old friend at the gas station and instinctively grabbed his hand. After doing that I said “sorry about that Im done with all this garbage” he said “no way, if you dint do it I would have”.

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DeusVultIntensifies 2 points ago +2 / -0

Got 2 great hugs from 2 friends today. Loved it.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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Ryoten 2 points ago +2 / -0

I never liked shaking hands to begin with. Same with high fives.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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Luther1521 2 points ago +2 / -0

But when dealing with people over 80 I only shake if they initiate.

2
Acid_squirrel 2 points ago +2 / -0

There was some Max Rose canvasser who did a fist bump to me instead of a hand shake after I listened to what he said and he was leaving.

2
AmerikaUberAlles 2 points ago +2 / -0

I still try for to sure. Lot of people terrified and mesmerized by the bullshit.

2
drprepper 2 points ago +2 / -0

People are dumb as rocks. You can use a door knob to open a door, watch them do the same, and then they'll refuse to shake your hand. Fear is the mind killer.

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milpede0306 2 points ago +2 / -0

its awkward when I try to shake hands and they give me the fist bump...I'm like really bitch

1
DaayTerkErJerbs 1 point ago +1 / -0

Peace among worlds

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deleted 1 point ago +8 / -7
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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SlugsRocks 1 point ago +1 / -0

Hugs and shakes. Always. Gloves verboten.

1
alphaomega22 1 point ago +1 / -0

Always have to shake hands and make eye contact. I have noticed that people with masks also avoid eye contract...

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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trumpmixtape 1 point ago +1 / -0

Roman Salute

kek

1
LoneStarDangler 1 point ago +1 / -0

Ave Trump