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711
deleted 711 points ago +753 / -42
419
deleted 419 points ago +424 / -5
216
Everquest4Life 216 points ago +222 / -6

fucking beautiful stuff, these words are oddly romantic.

I love how she says "threatened." What a total babe.

The truth is sexy.

95
deleted 95 points ago +103 / -8
60
AtariArtist 60 points ago +66 / -6

I'm not into seafood, but I get your point.

33
Krysdavar 33 points ago +34 / -1

This didn't turn me on at all. If anything, I feel really bad for the lady because of all the fricken BS people have put her and her family through. This should not happen in the free-est country in the fucking world. Period.

21
VetforTrump2 21 points ago +21 / -0

Strong women are always conservative.

-65
thisguy883 -65 points ago +15 / -80

Would be nice to add a feature on here to see who downvoted you.

Like if you could hover your mouse over it and it would show you usernames of the doomers who downvote.

26
cherboltz 26 points ago +26 / -0

Haha threa'ened

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
2
LolitaExpressPilot 2 points ago +2 / -0

The man's a Shakespeare!

0
Tx4wheel2 0 points ago +1 / -1

My thoughts exactly, rarely do you hear the phrase “mowing her box nightly”, the only other poetic phrase to complete would be someone better be laying pipes on the regular.

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deleted 98 points ago +106 / -8
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deleted 51 points ago +55 / -4
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Nomoralcompass89 18 points ago +19 / -1

I learned several quick one liners in sign language. Only good things can come from knowing how to ask if someone wants to fuck in another language.

2
DirtyName 2 points ago +8 / -6

Now I'm in love with this girl...

I want to tongue punch your fart box. In sign language. Absolute keeper.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
12
Bundari 12 points ago +13 / -1

Ask if she likes cultural diversity; I have roman hands and russian fingers :P

9
pmmeyourproblemsolva 9 points ago +9 / -0

KEK, it's probably been 20 years since I last heard that one. Good times.

7
IWI9000 7 points ago +7 / -0

Now go home and get your fucking shinebox!

4
_Sully_ 4 points ago +5 / -1

I tell my girlfriend that I will tongue punch her fart box. She seems to appreciate that one. I'm sure if I said this one she'd dig it too.

6
pmmeyourproblemsolva 6 points ago +9 / -3

So I actually waited for my wife to get up, take a shower, come out of the bathroom in only a towel, and asked her: "Hey baby, would you like me to mow your fucking box?"

She said: "You read that on TheDonald didn't you?" We both had a laugh, but no sexy times, because it's morning and there are jobs to go to.

4
CrookedRecords 4 points ago +5 / -1

You may be surprised. 40% of the time it works every time...

4
pmmeyourproblemsolva 4 points ago +4 / -0

To get some action or get punched in the mouth? Asking for a friend, who is probably going to try this line on his wife who is in the shower and will come out naked with her tig-ol-bitties hanging out any minute now.

7
johnny96816 7 points ago +8 / -1

Yep, I came to see the smackdown but got side tracked by the top kek.

2
Joebagofdonuts 2 points ago +2 / -0

Exactly! We’re talking about saving the country and the CONSTITUTION, but, by all means let’s post a comment AT THE TOP that DEMEANS the Patriot testifying. A woman who says HER LIFE HAS BEEN RUINED !

1
Ogcarvattack 1 point ago +2 / -1

Shadilay

1
DaisyWicksGhost 1 point ago +2 / -1

Most women installed tile or marble back in the 2000s. Much cleaner and more fun!

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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DemocraticPimp 24 points ago +26 / -2

lol

21
SoldierofKek 21 points ago +27 / -6

Rofl! That's the most hilarious description I've ever heard. If she isn't getting her box mowed, I'll volunteer. She's earned it.

11
pmmeyourproblemsolva 11 points ago +12 / -1

I_volunteer_as_a_tribute.mp4

7
thistlemitten 7 points ago +8 / -1

Absolutely!!

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deleted 16 points ago +17 / -1