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32
2ndenthusiast 32 points ago +32 / -0

dear diary, i had the strangest dream- my password came to me in the night and we made sweet love by the fireplace.

11
LonelyLadypedeSF_CA 11 points ago +11 / -0

Tragically, in a fit of passion, it accidentally rolled into the fire. Thus, 1stenthusiast rebuilt his life as 2ndenthusiast. His new password was great, and never nagged him to take out the garbage. The End?

5
InTheArmsOfThePepe 5 points ago +5 / -0

There I was, just walking along the path in the park when outta nowhere, u/1stenthusiast fell from a nearby tree, heading straight for me! She was completely naked, her glistening orbs flashing in the sun.

It was right then that I faced not one, but TWO wardrobe malfunctions. In the blink of an eye, my pants dropped to the floor, my boxers disintegrated, and u/1stenthusiast's love oven enveloped me whole. In my struggle to stay standing --I'm not very coordinated, you see-- my hips began trashing wildly and the strain of her weight caused me to moan audibly. The throes of passion soon subsided and just as quickly as it started, she disappeared back into the treeline.

"But will I ever see you again!?" I called out as I dressed and gathered my composure. Picking up my pants from the ground, I saw a small business card lying underneath. On its face was a single world, printed in golden script:

u/2ndenthusiast

To this day I keep the card in the breastpocket of my suit as a fond reminder that it is possible, even in today's crazy world, to fall into coitus.

5
LonelyLadypedeSF_CA 5 points ago +5 / -0

😂 "my boxers disintegrated"

Hunter Biden enters the chat with startup capital to develop next gen boxers

3
InTheArmsOfThePepe 3 points ago +3 / -0

holds boxer prototype up to the light, confused

Wait... Why is the asshole cut out on these, Hunter?

2
2ndenthusiast 2 points ago +2 / -0

snuffling angrily, leaping from one tree to the next to keep the scattered lovers in sight- a creature lurks behind. tormented by inadequacy that is magnified by the stunning importance- and virulence- of the first 2. it stops for a moment, clutching its head in a desperate gesture of agony. never will anyone care for it- never will they need it- never will it stop being the odd, maligned cousin of the others. for no one cares if troops are not allowed to be quartered. the creature slumps forward, headfirst into the ground. glistening in the moonlight on its waterproof hindquarters reads a tattoo of its name: 3rdenthusiast.

2
InTheArmsOfThePepe 2 points ago +2 / -0

GLORIOUS story thread is GLORIOUS!

GLORIOUS

L_______U

O_______O

R_______I

I________R

O_______O

U_______L

SUOIROLG

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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bubadmt 5 points ago +5 / -0

This claim about dreams is disputed by dream-catchers.