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Comments (39)
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34
sustainable_saltmine 34 points ago +34 / -0

and uncontrollable urges to drink sugar water

8
Pleepleus 8 points ago +8 / -0

Like hummingbirds? 🐸

4
RedLeadredemption 4 points ago +4 / -0

“ no facial expressions ) Literal NPC syndrome.

4
RiMjObZ4dAyZ 4 points ago +4 / -0

More.

33
throwaway-5947375959 33 points ago +34 / -1

So we have a choice between mild flu-like symptoms or facial paralysis? Tough call.

11
Virginia_Dare 11 points ago +11 / -0

CNN: Why facial paralysis is a good thing!

8
Anon1970 8 points ago +9 / -1

One flu to go please!

3
BigBadLeo 3 points ago +5 / -2

Bell's palsy occurs at around 0.03% in the general population per year. In the Pfizer clinical trial it was 0.01%. Just fyi.

1
memechallenger33 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yup. Pretty common.

15
Zskills 15 points ago +16 / -1

Move along nothing to see here.

Ignore the fact that this clearly is doing fuckery to your NERVOUS SYSTEM

11
Skogin 11 points ago +11 / -0

Just a little inflammatory response that pinches cranial nerves. Also, full body chills and extreme pain, no big deal!

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deleted 11 points ago +11 / -0
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Palmertabs 10 points ago +10 / -0

so, Bell's Palsy, got it.

While in most cases it is not permanent, I'm not taking the chance.

Also, while i would never make fun of somebody who developes bells pallsy without taking the vaccine, i will make fun of the people who gave them bells palsy because they were afraid of a virus with a 99.7 percent survival rate.

4
RedJive 4 points ago +4 / -0

95% of people with Bells Palsy regain full motion.

Which means 5% don’t, right?!

3
Palmertabs 3 points ago +4 / -1

So assuming if everyone of the 327,000,000 (I believe thats the US population) gets bell's palsy, then 16,350,000 people will never regain full motion.

Would need to see the percent of people who develop bells palsy after taking the vaccine.

But I aint taking that shit.

6
secretbern 6 points ago +6 / -0

Look on the bright side, your face is covered anyway! smh

4
Skogin 4 points ago +4 / -0

You don’t need a functional face anymore.

NPC 🤡🌍

5
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Isolated_Patriot 5 points ago +5 / -0

In unrelated news, FDA approves generically engineered pigs for use as organ transplants and food.

5
ebuy123 5 points ago +6 / -1

thought the same. has to be where the came up with the idea for the episode years ago. uncanny.

4
DemsHaveNoHomeHere 4 points ago +4 / -0

When do we arrest the board of usa today and close them for spreading Charlie propaganda?

4
Kameltoe 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'm pretty surprised they didn't use some major soda there and dump sugar into it, soda is sugar water, and companies love making money and product placement.

3
12gauge 3 points ago +3 / -0

Now the media is telling us what is scary and not scary.

3
MoreAmericanThanMost 3 points ago +3 / -0

It's going to be easy to identify those who have had the vaccine!

3
sgt_richard 3 points ago +3 / -0

I can here the REEE now..

xer: Why won't you DATE ME?!?!?!?!

dude: Uh because half your face is falling off!!!

xer: DROOPY FACES MATTER BIGOT!!!!!!!

Leave it to msm to normalize any fucking thing!

2
Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

Kekest

2
dude_bro 2 points ago +2 / -0

(and that's a good thing, here's why: )

2
MerlynTrump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Which vaccine is this?

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
BarronsteinBears 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah, I think I'll pass all the same...

2
DeadOverRed 2 points ago +2 / -0

Imagine what the long-term effects are!

2
PUNCHSPLOSION 2 points ago +2 / -0

Awesome, a Slither reference! GREAT JOB!

2
Soulmask2 2 points ago +2 / -0

Dude, the majority of women reading that will be terrified. Its like when a dude walks up to them and say:"Dont worry Im not a rapist" first thing they think is omg that guy is gonna rape me.

2
remindmelater 2 points ago +2 / -0

"not as scary".....ha ha ha ha....hilarious...

1
DunnoManMaybe 1 point ago +1 / -0

cases of brief facial paralysis

I don't know who needs to hear it, but Bell's Palsy causes lasting damage. Initially it presents like a stroke, but then the symptoms gradually wane over a few weeks (though never returning to pre-Bell's Palsy condition), then over the next few years it gets progressively worse and surgery is often needed to allow you to open your eyes.

My dad had a bout 5 years ago and has had two surgeries since and the droop is still getting worse.