For me it was in high school. I was a typical indoctrinated lefty soy-cuck at the time. I know, I know. Anyways...
So this girl I was friends with and had a crush on, she got it in her head one day that she wanted to be a guy. Normally I would have just rolled with it, but since I liked her my ape brain refused to make that kind of concession. I just saw her as a girl no matter what. I asked her why I should call her a “he” and got the usual spiel you get, you know the one. Blah blah common decency, blah blah. At the time it worked, I felt guilty and tried to go along with it.
Some time later, she really upset me. I don’t recall why now, but I said to her, I said “What you said the other day really hurt my feelings.”
She said, “I don’t care.”
That’s when it hit me. These people never cared about being good to each other and getting along. They only want compliance. After that I started seeing it everywhere, and getting more and more disgusted. With that jenga block pulled out, the whole tower collapsed.
And that’s how I became the dangerous alt-right deplorable that I am today. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
If I'm being honest I was on the black pill since birth. I thought why not burn the whole system down, how can the US be so great yet can't figure out a solution for illegal immigrants who actually contribute to the system (ie, I'm an anchor baby but they never got papers.)
As I got older I was always skeptical of the system I had severe hatred at the system because I was afraid that simply talking about it was enough for me to become an orphan of course nowadays I know ICE isn't competent enough to find someone based off what some kid says in school. Over time I found myself ebbing and flowing between respecting the advancements and knowledge and privilege of learning in the USA but also hating how shitty and inefficient the system is at teaching and decent schooling.
Eventually I get to 2016 where Trump is voted in and everyone around me was fearful of someone who would enforce immigration laws only for they and myself to be told by our spanish teacher (who's a foreigner) that Obama was so much worse and lied his entire presidency. This is where I became politically active I began asking and studying more along the lines of history and power and went from black pill to blue pill to red pill in quick succession.
I first thought why not go towards a communistic society, if America can't be changed then I'll build it elsewhere. I realized how shit and impossible the ideal of communism is, people will be lazy, and the disabled will only be a hindrance in a utilitarian society more resources wasted than produced.
Then from my chad Government teacher I learned how much better a mixed economy that trends to Laissez-faire could be. And once more I am left with the dilemma do I try to roll in the mud and try to change the system from within or do I abandon the dying ideals of America to rebirth them elsewhere.
Of course the last part sounds doomer but that's how I lived until 2018 where I felt maybe the don is the last shot America has to save itself from despotic rule so I vowed to vote for him in 2020 and so I did. Now I'm just waiting to see what happens.