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35
GreenScreen 35 points ago +35 / -0

Will $1000 pay for a tiny crane to hold up the paralyzed side of your face though?

13
Two_Scoops__ 13 points ago +13 / -0

Look it's not that bad

20
GreenScreen 20 points ago +20 / -0

I'm so disappointed with Americans right now. Pushing a vaccine for the flu. I'd take face paralysis over say.... Ebola. Or Captain Tripps. But the flu? What kind of pussies have we become.

13
chlofefe 13 points ago +13 / -0

or between face paralysis and HIV, i would slam the "face paralysis" button

but apparently with the vaccine you can get both!

4
secretbern 4 points ago +4 / -0

You don’t really want to know the answer to that question.

2
defnotarobit 2 points ago +2 / -0

So bad half your sentence sagged.

4
Sumarongi 4 points ago +4 / -0

You still have to wear a mask after vaccination. No one will notice

3
climatestatis 3 points ago +3 / -0

It usually cures itself within 6 months, and that $1000 might pay for a few doctors visits. If you wear a mask all the time then perhaps nobody will notice anyway, and a permanently raised eyebrow can give you a look of sophistication.

You, too, can have that classic Dan Crenshaw look.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell's_palsy

The eye should be protected from drying up with the use of eye drops or an eyepatch

Some people have some other minor issues.

... people diagnosed with Bell's palsy may have "myriad neurological symptoms" including "facial tingling, moderate or severe headache/neck pain, memory problems, balance problems, ipsilateral limb paresthesias, ipsilateral limb weakness, and a sense of clumsiness" that are "unexplained by facial nerve dysfunction".

If you really have an issue with one side drooping you might be part of the 1% who get a complete droop, resulting in a pleasant symmetry.

In rare cases (<1%), it can occur on both sides resulting in total facial paralysis.

A bee-keeper's hat shouldn't cost more than $20.

It is not clear what happens with eating, so perhaps your mask can double as a bib to catch the constant stream of saliva and baby food dribbling from your mush mouth.