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95
substantialmajestic 95 points ago +95 / -0

I have to set an alarm that requires me to walk across the room to shut off in order to get myself to peel away from 'New' at night so I go to bed.

54
BestTimeToBAlive 54 points ago +54 / -0

My husband has to take the phone away from me every night.

I leave it in living room in order for me to go sleep without insane political dreams or refreshing new every hour

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deleted 64 points ago +65 / -1
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BestTimeToBAlive 32 points ago +32 / -0

Big Mike to the rescue

19
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 19 points ago +20 / -1

Do you have to wear a neck brace? I can imagine big Mike's thunder stick can cause some serious whiplash.

13
Masjosh 13 points ago +13 / -0

Hahahaaaa Love it

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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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Pandas4Trump 2 points ago +6 / -4

2? two? u/2/ ? The Real Slim Shady doesn't forget his password 😂

18
leakmouth 18 points ago +18 / -0

How can I find a woman like this ⬆️?

19
BestTimeToBAlive 19 points ago +19 / -0

Church, Republican clubs, gun ranges, DC on Jan 6th, TDW, DJT rallies?

Just a thought

8
DontArkancideMeBro 8 points ago +8 / -0

Church for sure. That is, if you are Christian. I met my wife on Christianmingle.com a decade ago.

6
trailerman168233 6 points ago +6 / -0

Gun ranges....

1
Pandas4Trump 1 point ago +6 / -5

Go to Target. The gender ratio is amazing. Target is pricey enough so you know she has a job, bit she still wants to budget. Most importantly it isn't a socialist shithole like bag shaming whole foods where chunky milk is ok because a tranny milked it

1
Traveler42 1 point ago +1 / -0

Target still allows dudes into womens' changing areas and toilets though if they "feel like a woman" that hour....

7
crimsonfancy 7 points ago +7 / -0

Bless you!

This thread makes me feel normal.

3
The_red_hat 3 points ago +3 / -0

Bahahhahahah! Yup

1
crimsonfancy 1 point ago +1 / -0

🤗♥

16
ShittersFull 16 points ago +17 / -1

I tried that across the room shit. I just got used to sleeping with loud noise. Good thing my morning poop always wakes me up naturally now.

20
Neo5263 20 points ago +20 / -0

Username checks out.

9
CovefefeREEEE 9 points ago +9 / -0

LOL!

8
AH1F 8 points ago +8 / -0

lol

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CahalTheMad 6 points ago +6 / -0

Daaaaamn...

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0