First of all, I typed most of this out on mobile version (brave) and it just crashed and deleted everything I typed on my stupid phone before I could post it. Yay.

Locally most businesses here sorta follow the illegal mandates by just posting signage (wear masks!) and force their staff to be muzzled, but they don't harass customers. Wal-mart had not been harassing customers until recently. I found out that Wal-mart was now a mask nazi joint so I decided to go have some keks.

I made a sign that said something like "Take off your useless masks!", called upon my inner pepe, drew from the wisdom of kek, and entered the offending wal-mart without mask and sign in hand. With giant shit-eating grin on my face I walked right past the Karen Mask SWAT team standing at the entrace and into the store. The normies in the store looked at me with sheer confusion LOL. I remained quiet, shit-eating grin firmly locked, and went toward the back of the store to legitimately shop for something I wanted.

I reached my destination and began to search. However, I was quickly interrupted by Boss Karen, head matriarch of the loser squad. She informed me I have to leave the store. Here is the tale my friends -

Me: Nah, I just want [item]. Can you help me find it real quick and I'll go?

Manager Karen: No. You aren't wearing a mask, you have this sign, you have to leave.

Me: Why?

Manager Karen: It's becuase of state mandates and store policy.

Me: Did you know ADA and HIPAA are actual laws that supercede unlawful mask mandates?

Manger Karen: I don't know what you mean but this is private property and store policy.

Me: I'm exempt. Is it Wal-mart store policy to kick out medically exempt people?

Manager Karen: I didn't say that. You have to leave because of the sign.

Me: It's just words on a sign. What if they were on a t-shirt?

Manager Karen: If you don't leave I'll call the police.

Me: You're going to call the police on a medically exempt person with a sign who just wants to buy one item?

Manager Karen: I didn't say that. You have to leave.

Me: Slowly walking now toward front door Can't you just go get the item for me?

Manager Karen: I refuse to sell you this item. Leave.

Me: Is it wal-mart policy to refuse service to medically exempt people?

Manager Karen: No.. I.. look i have illnesses. I have asthma, COPD, anxiety.

Me: Whoa I didn't ask about your health problems. Are you trying to compare your medical issues to mine? Is that wal-mart policy?

Manager Karen: No, it's private property. I can't go onto your house and do whatever.

Me: LOL I don't sell groceries and electronics from my house. You do. You have to follow laws relating to consumer sales. Would you refuse service to a person in a wheel chair?

Manager Karen: N... no. I didn't say that. It's wal-mart private property and I can remove you for whatever reason. It's because of this sign.

Me: But it's just non-threatening words on a sign. I didn't have time to put it on a t-shirt. What if I had it on a t-shirt? Is this specific phrase, political or otherwise, not allowed by wal-mart? Is it wal-mart policy to say politics they don't agree with aren't allowed? Or just certain t-shirts? I'm very confused

Manager Karen: i didn't say any of that, you have to leave.

Me: wandering aimlessly around cashier area I am leaving.

Manager Karen: No you're not. I'm calling the police.

Me: Ok I think the door is that way, let's go. we head to foyer with the carts

Me: If you wouldn't have harrassed me I would have bought my item and left in like 5 minutes without saying a word.

Manager Karen: You were the one harrassing employees and customers

Me: I didn't say a word laughed in her face I just walked to the back to shop and then you flagged me down to harrass me, a medically exempt person.

Manager Karen: I'm calling the police. Dials based local pd, gives my description

Me: walks outside and hold sign up for people coming in Hey if you wouldn't have harassed me I'd be gone already, now I have to wait and talk to the police so I'm going to hold my sign up. I can't believe you're calling the police on a medically exempt person who left the store.

Manager Karen: No I'm calling the police because you're still on my sidewalk.

Me: waits a minute or two Did they put you on hold? laughs That sucks huh.

Manager Karen: No! I have to stay on the line while the police come.

Me: few minutes later Hey are they coming or what? Did they ignore you?

Manger Karen: YES THEYRE COMING

DA PO POLEECE SHOW UP. I'll summarize

3xOfficer maskface approaches. Karen goes inside to fill out a "trespass form". I cordially introduce myself to the officers and let them know I won't be signing any incriminating form about tresspassing. I did no such thing. I am OUTSIDE and the only reason I haven't left yet is because police were called so I needed to give a statement. I let them know I would have been in, and out, in a couple of minutes without saying a damn word. But she harassed me. Police got the corporate number and the manager's name for me. LMAO. I'm calling that shit tomorrow.

Cops chuckled with me about how mask mandates are stupid but they have to respond to private property removal requests. I said I totally get it, but private businesses don't get to treat customers like this. I said laws outweigh unenforceable mandates. They agreed. lol. Karen was so pissed. I informed them of my conceal carry, they approved.

I gave Karen one last shitpost: Said I'd like a list of wal-mart approved attire that I can wear in her store so I know which shirts with which words are allowed and which ones aren't.

We parted ways and I KEKED all the way home.

THE END.

Epilogue will be after I call corporate and report manager for putting wal-mart corporation at SERIOUS legal risk.