God still loves you! Thanks for praying. The only thing I could tell you....When folks study the composition of the smallest molecule they can, and observe the intelligent design involved, the more they realize something was behind it....no randomness. An unbeliever has to accept that all design is random, although the discoveries are consistent. A believer accepts there is a power greater that is at work. It is then faith in God that comes forth. I hope that your heart will be softened one day. Heaven is a wonderful place.