I feel like I've been a roller coaster of emotions these past 48 hours. I'm just so tense and everything seems to be about holding on to hope but everything seems so hopeless now but there are still all these tiny bits of strange things that I recall over the past 5 years that I've been clinging too. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to do at this point. Just stay sane I suppose, but the world around me has gone crazy. I mean, I've know for a very long time now that we live in clown world, but it feels like it's been amped up. I just... I think I need something to make me laugh. I need to find a way to laugh at the insanity of all of this.