If you are fighting for custody ofnyour kid thennyou need to play dumb and lure more info out with reasonable challenges, but without letting her know you know. Make sure you log/record everything and make sure you get legal advice.
One party state resident here. Everything is recorded, documented and automatically backed up on my phone. I turned it on years ago in case I ever found myself here.
I don’t plan on giving her the money. I’m going to pay directly to the daycare so it’s all in my name. That way I’m not “giving” her money, I’m paying my sons tuition because she wanted to lie and come up with excuses.
This is absolutely correct. Some court has even found that child support paid but not through the state system was a gift and didn't count as the child support is was intended as.
IANAL but the courts don't care if child care is actually used to care for the child, that argument will get you nothing and no where. You can and should just deny her request for the $120 she's not going to keep him home it's going to be inconvenient for her. If she wants to fight about it you can push it all the way up to the day of the court case before you relent or if you think its worth the fight you can come to court with a lawyer. But if your going to show up in court with a lawyer you need to decide before you tell her you aren't giving her the extra money and follow the lawyers instruction very carefully. In the eyes of the law its her child and you are an ATM if you doubt the truth of this research the Tender Years Doctrine.
We have left everything outside of court because we agree on most things but they, her and her mom, have been starting to pull some shady stuff. I could report them now for committing fraud on their social services applications and they have no idea. I’m ready the law now.
However, I do like it being all outside of court, because all that really matters is who goes first. It’s very hard to CHANGE the rules once set. However it’s very easy to SET the rules if I go first and they have to defend themselves. If I tried to use this to fight an existing court ordered custody agreement I’d lose, but if I use it set up a custody agreement, I’m more likely to win.
So, if either party violates the verbal agreement you have no way to protect yourself.
I'm no attorney, but it sounds like you're just winging it. They can simply change the rules and you have no recourse.
First, I would would sit down with her and show her the math and call bullshit.
Second, I would also talk to a family attorney as soon as possible. Its only going to get worse. Child custody laws vary from state to state, preserve your rights.
Funny thing is I ran into this scenario on Christmas Eve this year. I made a post if you want to read it in my history. Basically, I had to call the cops to have them go enforce a verbal agreement we had. They told me that “legally” they cant go “enforce” anything but they wanted to help so they went in and got my son because people act different around cops. The cops on every end that night understood my dilemma and basically used their uniform to scared them into getting my kid. It worked. I left Christmas Eve with my kid. Truth, reason, and logic will always win.
More healthy for your child to not be in a daycare center if the child can be with his/her parent. Unless the mother is abusing the child, the best interest of the child is to be with a parent.
The child doesnt need to be in daycare. Thats not good if you can help it.
If you dont have full custody or an agreement, then its on her. If she is pushing your kid on you bc your home then maybe take advantage of that time. Make sure to log that time. Not being together with kids is a mess already. Good luck.
If you are fighting for custody ofnyour kid thennyou need to play dumb and lure more info out with reasonable challenges, but without letting her know you know. Make sure you log/record everything and make sure you get legal advice.
Get everything documented. See if you can get emails from both her and the daycare so that you have solid evidence in court.
One party state resident here. Everything is recorded, documented and automatically backed up on my phone. I turned it on years ago in case I ever found myself here.
Any money you give her outside of child support is a gift. In the courts eyes. As for the rest I would ask legal counsel.
And anytime HUNK gives her cash, get a receipt.
I don’t plan on giving her the money. I’m going to pay directly to the daycare so it’s all in my name. That way I’m not “giving” her money, I’m paying my sons tuition because she wanted to lie and come up with excuses.
Thats a solid plan.
This is absolutely correct. Some court has even found that child support paid but not through the state system was a gift and didn't count as the child support is was intended as.
IANAL but the courts don't care if child care is actually used to care for the child, that argument will get you nothing and no where. You can and should just deny her request for the $120 she's not going to keep him home it's going to be inconvenient for her. If she wants to fight about it you can push it all the way up to the day of the court case before you relent or if you think its worth the fight you can come to court with a lawyer. But if your going to show up in court with a lawyer you need to decide before you tell her you aren't giving her the extra money and follow the lawyers instruction very carefully. In the eyes of the law its her child and you are an ATM if you doubt the truth of this research the Tender Years Doctrine.
Do you have an attorney or are you dealing with the family court directly?
We have left everything outside of court because we agree on most things but they, her and her mom, have been starting to pull some shady stuff. I could report them now for committing fraud on their social services applications and they have no idea. I’m ready the law now.
However, I do like it being all outside of court, because all that really matters is who goes first. It’s very hard to CHANGE the rules once set. However it’s very easy to SET the rules if I go first and they have to defend themselves. If I tried to use this to fight an existing court ordered custody agreement I’d lose, but if I use it set up a custody agreement, I’m more likely to win.
So, if either party violates the verbal agreement you have no way to protect yourself.
I'm no attorney, but it sounds like you're just winging it. They can simply change the rules and you have no recourse.
First, I would would sit down with her and show her the math and call bullshit.
Second, I would also talk to a family attorney as soon as possible. Its only going to get worse. Child custody laws vary from state to state, preserve your rights.
Funny thing is I ran into this scenario on Christmas Eve this year. I made a post if you want to read it in my history. Basically, I had to call the cops to have them go enforce a verbal agreement we had. They told me that “legally” they cant go “enforce” anything but they wanted to help so they went in and got my son because people act different around cops. The cops on every end that night understood my dilemma and basically used their uniform to scared them into getting my kid. It worked. I left Christmas Eve with my kid. Truth, reason, and logic will always win.
I've already drove the road your on now but I was the primary custodian of my kids. Dumb dumb starting getting out of hand, had to check that bitch.
It's not cheap, but if you value your child you need to get an attorney. That way all that shit is spelled out in the agreement down to the minute.
More healthy for your child to not be in a daycare center if the child can be with his/her parent. Unless the mother is abusing the child, the best interest of the child is to be with a parent.
The child doesnt need to be in daycare. Thats not good if you can help it. If you dont have full custody or an agreement, then its on her. If she is pushing your kid on you bc your home then maybe take advantage of that time. Make sure to log that time. Not being together with kids is a mess already. Good luck.
Hold the line!
Children need to be at home with mom when young, not in daycare. I've done it both ways, and I know this. Stop fighting with your ex.