If they have a search warrant, let them search.
If they have an arrest warrant, peacefully surrender. And repeat the phrase “I would like to speak to my lawyer” until you speak to a lawyer.
If they say they would like to “talk” to you about something; You say “Fine, you can talk all you want, I have nothing to say.”
Then pull out your phone, hit record, and watch them scurry away.
As a matter of policy, they will not under any circumstances record themselves, or allow themselves to be recorded.
TLDR; there are only two appropriate phrases you should ever say to the FBI: “I want a lawyer” (if you’re under arrest) and “I have nothing to say” (if you’re not)
**EDIT- according to the comments using the phrases “I would like to speak to MY lawyer [insert name of lawyer] and “I am invoking my 5th amendment right to remain silent” are superior. They are probably right, IANAL. And even if I was ANAL, I’m not your ANAL.
PS- if you work for the FBI and you’re reading this now, eat a bag of dicks.
Can I tell them to eat a bag of dicks though?
They will arrest you for being in "contempt of cop".
If found to be preventing an officer from performing their duties etc, they can arrest on that charge alone. I think there are similar "laws/rules" in each state.
And so long as you are NOT preventing them from doing their duties in some manner other than yelling or cursing (Ie making verbal threats), that will be thrown out as a Constitutional violation of City of Houston vs Hill (1987).
This is correct. However they have a saying "You may beat the rap, but you won't beat the ride"
hence you getting arrested for "being in contempt of cop".
We all know those type of cops exist.