If they have a search warrant, let them search.

If they have an arrest warrant, peacefully surrender. And repeat the phrase “I would like to speak to my lawyer” until you speak to a lawyer.

If they say they would like to “talk” to you about something; You say “Fine, you can talk all you want, I have nothing to say.”

Then pull out your phone, hit record, and watch them scurry away.

As a matter of policy, they will not under any circumstances record themselves, or allow themselves to be recorded.

TLDR; there are only two appropriate phrases you should ever say to the FBI: “I want a lawyer” (if you’re under arrest) and “I have nothing to say” (if you’re not)

**EDIT- according to the comments using the phrases “I would like to speak to MY lawyer [insert name of lawyer] and “I am invoking my 5th amendment right to remain silent” are superior. They are probably right, IANAL. And even if I was ANAL, I’m not your ANAL.

PS- if you work for the FBI and you’re reading this now, eat a bag of dicks.