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Comments (55)
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25
MTZink 25 points ago +26 / -1

The pebble in the brownie. The splinter in the shoe. The lurking earwing in that glove you left out in the shed... (sorry; digressed to personal revulsions).

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GlacialSpeed 31 points ago +32 / -1

Ziplock your shed gloves friend.

There, I saved you the spider bite it took for me to start doing that.

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guten_morgen 5 points ago +5 / -0

Never thought of that. Thanks, pede!

4
MTZink 4 points ago +5 / -1

See, Martha? Didn't really SPECIFY underwear drawers, but I'm not the only one that think sandwich bags are just plain good sense.

1
Trump2024 1 point ago +1 / -0

Meh, the old wives tales about spiders in the underwear drawers are overrated. Those really tiny, almost invisible yet highly venomous and excruciatingly painful biting spiders are rarely found in panties. Probably less than 1 out of 5 panty drawers have those deadly spiders. I wouldn't even worry about them really.

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MTZink 2 points ago +2 / -0

But why do these little crabbie things keep... ohhhh.

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deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
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Sirbigusdickus 2 points ago +2 / -0

The bloody glove you left at your ex-wive’s house.

12
lordvon 12 points ago +12 / -0

the turd in the punch bowl

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TrumpChampBelt 7 points ago +7 / -0

The lint in the belly button. The cavity in the tooth. The squeaky wheel on the cart. The dingleberry in the asscrack.

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Wiggims 5 points ago +5 / -0

The pube on the ice cream.

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Hairy_Mouse 4 points ago +4 / -0

You mean earwig?

I'm not scared of bugs, or snakes, or spiders, in fact I've had snakes and tarantulas, but those motherfuckers are GROSS!

Only 2 things that give me the creeps, earwigs and roaches.

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carriemcgavock 1 point ago +1 / -0

Any bug and snake not bothered by, spiders scare the shit out of me.

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duckstuck 17 points ago +17 / -0

"Covid quarantine" incoming

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
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1PhantomStranger 17 points ago +17 / -0

Or she shows up with a drastic change in her toon. perhaps she was nudged and shown something today. Could you imagine two different parties holding two different sets of compromat over your head? That would be some serious internal conflict.

1
WhoBuiltTheCagesJOOO 1 point ago +1 / -0

No more time.

14
Dragofireheart 14 points ago +14 / -0

Why the fuck wasn't she present today!?

39
BigHandsome91 39 points ago +39 / -0

Yeah, some people say it is not too uncommon, but wasn't it kind of a big day for her? The fact she couldn't be bothered to show up when she was introducing impeachment seems suspicious to me. It's very plausible she is just an absolute waste of life and it means nothing though.

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Dragofireheart 26 points ago +26 / -0

You'd think she'd be fired up to impeach. Red flag imo

17
NevadaPede 17 points ago +17 / -0

Hungover

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
7
Sunshines09 7 points ago +7 / -0

I hope you're right, but could also be that she's just old and needed to rest.

4
Hairy_Mouse 4 points ago +4 / -0

Maybe she was too sloshed or hungover?

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Pelosi_Halitosis 9 points ago +9 / -0

Hungover?

2
blueyedjonesy 2 points ago +2 / -0

One can only hope!

13
MTZink 13 points ago +13 / -0

S'cuse forgot serious theory: Borg recharge cubicle stolen along w/laptop. Can't just order a replacement on Amazon for those so have to consider comm lapse between Earth and wherever the Mothership may be.

11
Pederella 11 points ago +11 / -0

Nah, she was just busy today...ordering more impeachment pens.

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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Porkbut 7 points ago +7 / -0

They are saying because she didnt show up today for her impeachment proceeding, something odd is going on, and that if she doesnt show up again tomorrow that confirms it. I dont think thats 100% true, nor the reverse that if she does show up it means nothings happening. But it is important information, and could be extremely relevant.

5
PaineThomas 5 points ago +5 / -0

She didn't show up at all. She sent a clerk.

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deleted -1 points ago +2 / -3
6
Maga4Demmies 6 points ago +6 / -0

What a convenient time to test positive for Covid.

1
MNMathtic 1 point ago +1 / -0

Would she be the first Dem in congress to test positive? I only recall Repubs "coming down" with wuflu.

1
Maga4Demmies 1 point ago +1 / -0

No idea, but I was shocked that they reconvened in the capitol after all of the “exposure” that could have occurred. I thought they would want to publicly disinfect it or something first at the very least to keep the Covid fear going.

1
MNMathtic 1 point ago +1 / -0

They all probably had their hair done or were eating dinner in the capitol. According to Dems, that's safe to do without contracting wuflu.

2
Maga4Demmies 2 points ago +2 / -0

I’m honestly under the impression that more Dems have had Covid than we think. I got it on New Years Day and I can see how someone could easily fly under the radar with it. The symptoms are so ambiguous. Not to mention those who are “asymptomatic.” It makes me wonder if people like Trump and Kayleigh were required to disclose their positive test or if they chose to since it would just leak to the press anyway at some point. A diagnosis would technically fall under HIPPA, but it’s not like Democrats play by their own rules anyway.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
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DTrumpWins2020 3 points ago +4 / -1

She tweeted 3 hours ago

4
RedNonna 4 points ago +4 / -0

Could have been staff

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deleted 13 points ago +13 / -0
2
Trump2024 2 points ago +2 / -0

Let's add this up. All these memes start popping up about Nancy being in love with Big D Donny. Donny hasn't been seen in several days. Nancy doesn't show up for work.....

If she shows up for work today walking funny, with a new attitude about redoing the election and a make America great again attitude we can safely assume that President Trump took one for the team.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
TheJustin 1 point ago +1 / -0

She posted on Twitter 4 hours ago. It's possible that was a pre-scheduled tweet or someone from her social media Team posting what they think she would want posted. But if it's her, then I think her absence today means little.

1
HiddenDekuScrub 1 point ago +1 / -0

She could just be drunk.

1
ShampocalypseWOW 1 point ago +1 / -0

Why wouldn't she show up?

1
beep_boop 1 point ago +1 / -0

I don't know how you determined this. I'd love to think so myself but realistically she's probably having conniptions trying to track down the people that took her computer and took a day off for it.

The only reason I don't dismiss this possibility, however, is because of the 25th amendment/impeachment talk that went on today. That doesn't seem like something she'd miss out on. But it did get delayed for a day and maybe she'll be there. Not trying to be a doomer, in just trying to temper expectations. A lot of stuff is going on and my heart has been broken too many times these last few months to invest in anything that sounds too good to be true

1
EllemenoP 1 point ago +1 / -0

She's 80 years old, she probably pooped her pants. Maybe her bladder or uterus prolapsed. Or maybe she has to pay out hush money to more of her son's victims.

1
DeboOonked 1 point ago +1 / -0

She was getting the barnacles scraped off her gaping gash.

0
pinchitony 0 points ago +1 / -1

I wouldn't really bet on just that, but yeah, it could be a good indication.