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241
SpookySpook 241 points ago +244 / -3

Hello? FBI?

140
Aambrick 140 points ago +140 / -0

FBI: Sorry, we can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a name and a message that is positive to us after the beep. Beep.

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deleted 59 points ago +59 / -0
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Barrysstash 5 points ago +5 / -0

Claire used to be John. When you become an FBI agent you hand in your morales, ethics, and penis.

3
BallsackPaneer 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol. In the TV Series Twin Peaks, David Duchovny played the role of Denise Bryson, a transgendered FBI agent.

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sixfingerdildo 41 points ago +41 / -0

Please your name, social security id and your last three mailing addresses and we'll investigate you as soon as possible.

12
Aambrick 12 points ago +13 / -1

They are not that blatant . . . Yet.

12
Vermino 12 points ago +12 / -0

"We don't like constructive criticism about our department. Also we have evidence back in 1992 you J-walked on 1st & Maple by an anonymous tip. Please turn yourself in to the closest police station." - FBI starts to chain eat a dozen of donuts

1
Barrysstash 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe they’re like “we will look into your google search history and get back with you...”

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MIA3 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh yeah, and be sure to fill out your false mail in ballot from each address too

0
SirPokeSmottington 0 points ago +1 / -1

Please your name

lol

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deleted 17 points ago +17 / -0
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Doth 13 points ago +13 / -0

Maybe if they beat her with a garage pull, the FBI would be interested.

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Aambrick 3 points ago +4 / -1

Well they do have history with Hookers(specifically the weird things they have them do) so it is possible.

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billClintonIsARapist 26 points ago +26 / -0

Hell, it could have been the FBI.

20
MikesBigJockstrap 20 points ago +20 / -0

They're too busy trying to agitate conservatives and plan false flag rallies than to look into domestic terrorism from the left.

If you're reading this you crooked fuckers, go do your goddamn jobs.

4
EvilGuy 4 points ago +5 / -1

This works both ways. It wouldn't take much to destroy ANTIFA.. lets think theoretically here and tactically.

You just need 1-2 soldiers to go to each rally, packing, and whenever ANTIFA gets into it with the cops, you start firing at the cops and run away.

Guaranteed massacre and easy escape routes with all those spergs running around in black.

How many of those would it take before ANTIFA decides not to have rallies anymore? I would be surprised if it was more than one. These people have no guts when it comes down to it.

Beating up a 70 year old woman? Pathetic.

2
EvilGuy 2 points ago +3 / -1

I mean if you think about it both sides clearly have rules of engagement where they don't break out the guns. You start firing at cops and they will either run away, or fire back.

EITHER WAY it ruins their little setup they have going. Politicians can't force cops to get shot at without firing back, even if the shots are not even aimed to hit, they will run out of cops pretty soon with a massive case of the blue flu, and ANTIFA won't keep going to rallies where they have a good chance of getting an actual consequence for their actions.

The politicians just want chaos so they can scare people but only just enough. Too much and people will lose their fucking shit and it will be war in the streets.

No this is all clearly choreographed with the local politicians calling off their cops and the ANTIFA handlers telling them what they can and can't do.

So yeah theoretically it would be easy to break this shit up once and for all... and NONE OF THEM WOULD TRUST EACH OTHER ANYMORE.

1
trump1aj 1 point ago +1 / -0

Follow them home after their 'protests'.

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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IncredibleMrE1 18 points ago +18 / -0

Silly Drumpftard, the only thing the FBI will ever do for you is ruin your life because you support Drumpf.

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Pukeahontas 11 points ago +11 / -0

Sorry, Roger Stone doesnt have standing