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140
Aambrick 140 points ago +140 / -0

FBI: Sorry, we can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a name and a message that is positive to us after the beep. Beep.

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deleted 59 points ago +59 / -0
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Barrysstash 5 points ago +5 / -0

Claire used to be John. When you become an FBI agent you hand in your morales, ethics, and penis.

3
BallsackPaneer 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lol. In the TV Series Twin Peaks, David Duchovny played the role of Denise Bryson, a transgendered FBI agent.

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sixfingerdildo 41 points ago +41 / -0

Please your name, social security id and your last three mailing addresses and we'll investigate you as soon as possible.

12
Aambrick 12 points ago +13 / -1

They are not that blatant . . . Yet.

12
Vermino 12 points ago +12 / -0

"We don't like constructive criticism about our department. Also we have evidence back in 1992 you J-walked on 1st & Maple by an anonymous tip. Please turn yourself in to the closest police station." - FBI starts to chain eat a dozen of donuts

7
Aambrick 7 points ago +7 / -0

while rubbing them all over

I think you forgot that.

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Barrysstash 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe they’re like “we will look into your google search history and get back with you...”

0
Aambrick 0 points ago +0 / -0

Nah. They will try to use Gulag search history since it would be more around to better blend in. These people are arrogant not stupid(at least some of them).

2
MIA3 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh yeah, and be sure to fill out your false mail in ballot from each address too

0
SirPokeSmottington 0 points ago +1 / -1

Please your name

lol

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deleted 17 points ago +17 / -0
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Doth 13 points ago +13 / -0

Maybe if they beat her with a garage pull, the FBI would be interested.

3
Aambrick 3 points ago +4 / -1

Well they do have history with Hookers(specifically the weird things they have them do) so it is possible.