Masks save lives. But it’s not enough. I’ve discovered a few more steps we can take to finally flatten the curve once and for all.
Science and data engineers have proven we could end the 38,000 deaths and 4.4 million injuries per year from motor accidents if we get rid of cars. It’s the compassionate thing. Just walk, it’s not that hard, geez.
Science has proven that we could end the 300,000 deaths per year from obesity if we ban sugar, ice cream and simple carbs. Think of how many lives we can save! Anyone who is against this is selfish.
Do you use a smart phone? You’re a soulless monster. Every year dozens of phone assembly line workers jump to their death from the terrible and brutal working conditions. You also are a racist who supports slave labor of black people in Africa who mine the rare earth minerals you use in your phone. Not only that, but tens of people die every year now from phone related accidents like walking off of cliffs while taking pictures. If you continue to use a phone, you support suicide and slave labor and don’t care about the deaths of those people, you trash white supremacist.
You know what else kills people? Cancer. You might be surprised to find out that actually almost everything causes cancer, we’ll have to ban it all. But don’t worry, we’re all in this together, except for people who who continue to smoke, eat potatoes, and drink alcohol because that stuff causes cancer.
We must ban it all for ALL people even if only a certain segment is technically at risk. It’s the compassionate thing. Don’t be like those people who are against potatoes because they’re not at risk, they’re just anti-science conspiracy theorists who read mom blogs. Potatoes cause cancer and MUST BE BANNED. IT”S THE NEW NORMAL.
Every year, hundreds of people die from just doing their jobs like logging, fishing, and cleaning out poop tanks.
If it’s “too far” for you to ban these jobs so we can FREAKING SAVE LIVES, YOU DON’T LOVE JESUS. Think of the POOP TANK CLEANERS and their families.
In 2019, 500 people died from weather related events. This is hard for all of us, but our new normal must include banning the weather. It is the only way forward for a compassionate society.
Likewise, per year our country has over a million deaths from animals. Modern day little Freddy Kreugers like mosquitos, snakes, dogs, flies, snails and tapeworms.
I don’t care how much Fido means to your family, refusal to give up your dog is LITERALLY VIOLENCE against marginalized groups. Tell your annoying white aunt Karen to stop denying science and put down her mutt.
Don’t even get me started on diamonds, shoes and chocolate. We don’t even KNOW how many children die from the slave labor production of those commodities. We must flatten this curve.
I literally couldn’t believe it when I found out and now I’m terrified of leaving my house. EVERY SINGLE YEAR, 35,000 people die from falling. FALLING. Why the hell hasn’t the government put out a mandate requiring people to stop falling? I’ve literally been inches from death my entire life because of this absolute failure upheld by systemic racism. We must enforce a national bubble suit mandate. It can double as a mask and falling prevention. You must wear it all times, even planes. No exceptions.
You will be blown away to hear that out of all people who are ever conceived, you have a 100% chance of dying. This number unfortunately is above our redline metrics, and therefore we have to ban it. That’s why we’re proud to work with our sponsor Moderna™ to bring you vaccines that end the pesky trouble of conceiving before it begins.
“Covid can’t kill your kids if we do it first.”
https://www.freedomunited.org/freedom-university/products-of-slavery/
Honestly the sugar ban sounds healthy as fuck I'd be down for that one lol
Fuck that.
If people want to eat themselves into an early grave that's their business, not mine.
I'd be in favor of banning sugary drinks and food at public schools though. Disallow foods containing lots of sugar from being purchased with food stamps.
which is why socialized medicine can't work. It is not my tax burden to support someone elses unhealthy habits.
Ding ding ding !!!
Worse part is- faggot lawyers are trying to normalize bug chasing among other abhorrent behavior.
unsure what bug chasing is
An 80s thing where hiv carriers would secretly super spread their virus
ahh yea they are trying to say that's ok now
"Bug chasing?"
OMG SO BIGOTED!
I'd be in favor of male boob shock images on every soy frappuccino. It's a fraction of the horror that's printed on every cigarette pack.
This! I was constantly having to request the teachers stop feeding my kids candies and chips. They would agree only to find out they ignored my request. Every 6 months, a new cavity would appear. Well, they’ve been home since March of last year and guess what? No new cavities! Color me shocked.
I'd be in favor of banning public schools.
They will just replace it all with fake sugars that cause cancer so...
Sugar is never the cause of cancer, but if you do have cancer sugar is literally what the cancer feeds from. This is the reason hospitals never tell people to just stop eating sugar and suggest replacements, there's no money in that. Chemotherapy and similar treatments on the other hand bring in a lot of money.
I went through cancer treatment years ago and was reading the same thing, got to eliminate sugar from my diet. I mentioned this to my doctor during a treatment and he told me cancer feeds on everything you eat. There is no way to eliminate all sugar from your diet, you can cut back though if you think there’s benefit to you. I’m enjoying the life that I have, who knows what is going to be the thing that kills me. Go through life denying yourself the things you enjoy and what is the point of that?
Thank you...and on another note, DONT LIVE SCARED!
I know what will kill you, as it is now the only cause of death...Covid 19! lol
We are grateful to have such omniscient overlords
Yea it was really more of a joke comment than anything, people should be allowed to eat whatever they want I'm just trying to cut currently. High fructose corn syrup is the fake sugar you're thinking of, and yea that's even worse
I think he was also talking about stuff like sucralose, aspartame, etc.
Then move to NYC, right now they're just stopping you from buying soda over a certain size, but I'm sure they'll get to a full sugar ban within the next 10 years.
So do it! You can ban sugar for yourself...around here, that’s how it works. You down af for a sugar ban? Ban it, for yourself, but the people that want a bowl for breakfast? Have at it?
Sugar, it's what's for breakfast. 1964 is when our government came out with the idea that breakfast means cereal and pancakes and HFCS instead of maple syrup and OJ, and margarine instead of butter.
They're trying to kill us all. They just didn't know to go straight to CCPvirus
jesus, im actually going to screenshot this post, and use it anytime i have somebody scream
"DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE LIVES?!"
“Ban everything? Sounds great!” - Communists
It's technically true. In the holodomor they rounded up the grain, put it in storage and then shot anyone who came near it.
In USSR, whatever is not banned, is mandatory
You can't be fat if there's no food
-commies
Socialist countries must have good health care, because they have zero cases of obesity!
Well... sometimes 1 case.
and its the biggest case!
A life without risk is a life not worth living.
Also, risk cannot be completely avoided.
I’m laughing at whatever faggot down voted u
Just a pede that slipped. They got so excited they clicked so fast and closed out their window to tell the world about his comment.
It was YOUUUU with your sarcasticy sarcastic sarcasm.... WASNT IT????/
Its ok..... someone down voted my Star Spangled Banner lyrics post in a different thread. Who does that? Fucking Communists, thats who.
“Life is a great adventure, and the worst of all fears is the fear of living.” - Theodore Roosevelt
Ban cars to save lives!
NPC: That's ridiculous, you can't ban cars because people need them to go to work.
So that means you're against the lockdowns since people need to go to work?
Angry NPC face
I've actually used this argument and gotten this response from COVID sheep. They walk into it without hesitation.
no- no, public mass transportation is so much better, that's why we are reducing the number of trains and the hours they run, so as to pack everyone into fewer, safer trains that we haven't properly cleaned in decades.
we are also reducing store hours and closing off aisles to reduce the spread. so now you have to all shaop at the same time in the same aisle and wait in longer lines. Science!! don't be a a heartless science denying granny killing bigot!
Username checks out
If you don't agree with all of this, you are literally Hilter.
Up for appropriate use of literally.
hving seen hitlers folly, i dont think he was all tht a bad guy, just a painter who took critisism of his work by the jews abit too far
"a bit"
He was talking about Hilter though
I’m finally drunk enough to comment. Man, I love you guys. I look forward to having my head chopped off on the same chopping block as you.
Sorry I won't see you there, they won't be able to take me alive. If they try to catch me I'll force them to turn me into swiss cheese.
Don't go without a fight. The gallows will be a massage compared to what they'll do to you before you get there.
Masks don't stop this China biological weapon! Don't feed the communists!
Communists killed over 100 million people in the last century alone. It's time we ban commies and thankfully there is a vaccine provided by a Chilean pharmacuetical called Pinocherna.
Communists can't even feed themselves.
Think👏 of👏 the👏 POOP👏 TANK👏 CLEANERS 👏
Thank you OP for this masterpiece
"Everyone must wear bubble suits"
"All jobs are banned"
Wait who is gonna make the bubble suits?
What do you mean? The scientists said the suits will be available. Why don't you EDUCATE yourself and TRUST THE SCIENCE!!!! Retarded bigot.
You have to make your own out of spit and duct tape!
the essential workers, duh!!
science says they are immune!
you can look but u cant touch-mabel pines
says who?-a gentleman at taco bell called bill
Impressive length!
Girthy too.
They already figured out the 100% dying thing. To save lives from death, they abort them.
Yeah, if only it were actually true that fetuses aren't alive, and going through the processes that define human life, like cells metabolizing oxygen and energy, and unique DNA growing new cells all the time.
Its all about the delivery.
I like to bring up the absurdity of banning anyone from using peanut products because a sizeable segment of the population (more than wuflu) are deathly allergic to it. Mostly lefties are too dense or disingenuous to recognize and acknowledge my argument, though.
You are right!
Humans would live full lives if we just stuff everyone into a pod and pump them full of nutrients.
You're literally a murderer if you don't think we should do this.
soooooo....blue pill them? ...welp...lets turn the MSMs back on!
Ban fornication and you save hundreds of thousands of lives each year. How many people have to die of STDs until we flatten the curve?
Why won't anyone think of the poor gays. Outlawing gay clubs (and clubs in general) probably would've saved thousands from aids and drug related deaths. :(
That's discriminatory.
What about the rich gays? And
the BIG GAY?
LOL true. But BIG GAY is unironically the biggest problem of the gay first-world. (Corrupt governments that don't protect individual freedom are the big problem in the rest of the world.)
Big gay silences individual gays with their monopoly and money/corporate support. They make gay into a big sparkly spectacle instead of just a boring coupling of adults that shouldn't be our business. We've got great gay pedes that hate big gay. The middle schoolers were right. Big gay was infecting our society all along.
Also transgenderism never belonged in lgb.
I'll fight you for the right to ice cream harder than we fight for our second amendment guns.
DO NOT MESS WITH MY ICE CREAM OR I WILL END YOU
lick all the bluebells!
Three scoops for this guy right here!
"The English language spreads Covid worse than other languages. We have to stop speaking English."
Shit, going all skull face and use the vocal cord parasite to destroy English from MGSV.
Don't forget, the same people that pushed to make knowingly infecting someone with AIDS/HIV no longer a crime now want to criminalize you for not wearing a muzzle. What a joke.
This is not a joke.
You know who is saving lives? President Trump!
Medical errors are the 3rd leading cause of deaths. Government should ban going to the doctor
“ Tell your annoying white aunt Karen to stop denying science and put down her mutt.”
Awww OP you know Karens have cats not cute little pups. And if we want Karens to care we should also ban wine. Save their livers 🤷♀️
COVID only kills men and women. Good thing I identify as neither of the 2, so I’m good to go.
Well in that case there's a 99.999% chance it won't kill you
I was so terrified when I heard somebody say they liked snow. I bet that absolute NAZI doesn't even know that SNOW IS DANGEROUS!! We should be locking down when it's so slippery outside! Stay home, be safe!!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I like snow. Especially skiing in pristine untracked pure white snow.
that settles it, winter weather is all one big racist dogwhistle. Somebody tell CNN
Black mirror?
You leave my fuckin potatoes alone or I swear I’m coming for ya OP.
“Also don’t be alarmed if people suddenly die after taking the vaccine. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they died FROM the vaccine. Sometimes people just die.” All without a single iota of self-awareness.
Covid - died from
Vax - Died with
sure
And, it goes dark, fast
250,000-440,000 Americans die each year because of medical mistakes, making it the third leading cause of death in a normal year without China Plague. The media and the almighty medical journals said it was true so it must be. www. cnbc. com/2018/02/22/medical-errors-third-leading-cause-of-death-in-america.html (don’t go to their trash site)
So we should outlaw medical mistakes?!?
Nah, "that's what insurance is for"
Just picture humans as they are in the Matrix, hooked up to some machine.
Sure, you just need to get this tattoo to prove it(that you have had it or the vaccine). Why come you don't have tattoo? Your not unscanable?
Oh you deserved every last morsel of that sticky lol
I disagree with banning the weather. We should control it. Why don't we try to control it by putting chemicals in the atmosphere and using giant space shields to block sunlight? Sunlight causes cancer so we need to block that out completely anyway.
Strong finish 😂
Is this satire or real life, I can't tell anymore....
When people make the point about driving being unsafe too, I'm always thinking like "Ok, good, yes," but I don't want someone to take it so seriously they start an actual media and political effort to get people to wear helmets in their cars. When I was in 6th grade in the early 1990s, there were 3 big new societal things we learned: one was recycling, one was rejecting illegal drugs (the D.A.R.E. program), and the other was bicycle helmets. There are also motorcycle helmets, but I could see the Deomcrats pushing for "car helmets," and one argument would be that racecar drivers wear them.
Sorry man in the 60's we recycled and were taught drugs were bad.
Not a bicycle helmet in sight though.
Ban the weather?
Isn’t that what climate change hoaxers are trying to do already?
HoW MaNy MoRe? How many more have to die?!
as many as it takes!
Get this man a brick!
I can't wait to berate and shame all these fat fucking out of shape liberals if medicare for all gets pushed through. Booze, smokes, fats, sugars, bacon, not exercising. I will make the fucking cry
Look, fat
Top tier shitpost I think I’ll preach it on a street corner
We could eliminate 42.7 MILLION deaths by eliminating abortions too.
Thats a lot to read, worth it tho lmao
Great rant....but obesity kills A LOT more than 300k a year
Reductio Ad Absurdum. And I freaking love it.
This post is a joke that is very much on the nose. The end game of the Great Reset is: live in a box, own nothing, eat bugs, never travel outside of a 10-mile radius of your assigned habitation, work every day in exchange for just enough resources to survive, and die when you have outlived your usefulness. All that so the elite ruling class and their descendants can wallow in luxury.
2 things wrong here:
masks don't save lives
the ruling elite want us all dead
Nah, that would be a waste of slave labor pool.
Robots are cool and all, but submissive, brainwashed and self-propagating "biorobots" are cheaper and more efficient. The problem with slavery in the past is that a slave could not be made 100 percent obedient even by the harshest methods of subjugation. Today, between medical and chemical methods available, plus good old brainwashing, you could have a virtually limitless supply of disposable and replenishable slaves that don't require rare earth metals to construct.
Death would be a preferable alternative to this existence, but it's not the plan. Once the population is trimmed down to necessary levels and impoverished to the point of destitution, 99.99 percent of humans will exist as slaves for the elite class.
The plan for North America is to revert to wilderness. They want us all dead. They won't go after those already living like Davey Crockett.
Pretty easy to get rid of the rest, just kill the power. We have no ability to make our largest power transformers on this continent. If they were all to blow at the same time ...
While we're at it, we should start denying health services to people afflicted with voluntary maladies! Fat? No heart surgery for you! Your daughter got in a car wreck while texting and driving? Guess she won't be getting that sports scholarship, lol! Smoker? More like smoked! Doesn't follow federal guidelines and catches the corona? Drown in your sleep! THAT'LL TEACH THEM!
Something something long term effects... something something loss of smell... something something [insert other mitigating heresay that perpetuates my self-victimization]
When I’m bored and feeling super petty I’ll post these on reddit covid comments and posts just enough to sound real and not sarcastic. Usually the obesity one and how we shouldn’t be allowed to have choices of our own (govt knows what’s best). You’d be surprised how many people agree.
Don’t give the crazy demonrats more ideas..they are a bunch of lunatics to begin with and I wouldn’t put it past them to do these things you have mentioned! Plus if we ban sugar then Nasty Piglosi can’t have her ice cream! We can’t have that! Lol
Oh she'd still have it. Just us peasants wouldn't be able to partake--for our own safety, of course.