First, I am sorry about the pain you and your wife are going through. Please know that so many of us on here can empathize with your pain. I hope you can find solace in knowing you gave your old boy a very loved and spoiled life. When times are dark, remember all the good times you shared and how much love and attention you gave him. Don't bottle it up. Grieve when you can. Trust me, my German Shepherd died 6 years ago and I still have my moments where I break down. I ended up making several donations of dog toys (especially tennis balls since that is what her favorite thing in the world) to local shelters in her memory. Doing that helped ease some of the pain knowing I was able to make some pound dog happy. Again, my heart breaks for you and your wife. Maybe once the pain subsides some you can give a great home to another handsome pup.