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300
HyperCarbs 300 points ago +300 / -0

Fuck it. I'm ordering one of those pillows.

135
Yowza2020baby 135 points ago +135 / -0

What a timeline. The republic will be saved by a pillow salesman!

39
Lurkers4Trump 39 points ago +39 / -0

It's inauguration, Biden gets up on stage, but panic starts to rise throughout the city. The pillow salesman has arrived, and his super comfy pillows are immediately knocking out the tired nat guard, who have been operating on 4 hours of sleep. They try everything to stop him, but nothing works, they're guns are blocked by his pillow armor, his based-ness stops their vicious words.

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Mikes_Bitch_Barry 32 points ago +32 / -0

Don't forget, he will be cloaked in a robe made from Giza Dream sheets. "Once you've saved the republic in Giza Dream sheets, you'll never want to save the republic in anything else again".