This jackass has been hassling us for months over Politics. I was not around yesterday but he got physical with some friends of mine. Today I approached him and told him not to bother my friends anymore or else I would hurt him. He stood up and jabbed me in the chest and called me a racist so I rearranged his face a bit. He tried to have me arrested but I was laughing and joking with the police in less than a minute while he was irate. The police declared it mutual combat and I left for Bible Study.

No, you are.

Me too. My buddy arrived too late to get anything. Fight lasted 20 seconds. I had him bleeding in less than 5.

I went so fucking easy on him. I had my coffee in my left hand most of the time. When he stood up it started with a finger jab and he closed within headbutt distance. Gave him a perfect 10/10 quick headbutt right in the nose. Backed off and taunted him a bit. Let him swing a couple times. Miss, miss. Threw a quick right to his left jaw with the coffee still in my left and he almost fell over. Blood was already drawn. First blood, I win. He grabbed me and tried to muscle me. I am stronger than I look. Lost my coffee. Shoved him off me and backed off. Here come all the women screaming "STAAAAHP." Police Station is in running distance. 5 Cops show up. All very Professional. Ready to deescalate. I sat down and chit chatted with a nice female Policeman while Dennis sat over there bleeding and whining. Same ending as with the burrito fight. If he presses charges. I press charges and my friends press charges for what he did yesterday. We went our separate ways. Police asked me to please avoid Dennis. I said I would try. I then went and got another covfefe. Went to work. Just got home. Now here I sit.