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42
NimbleNavigator2019 [S] 42 points ago +44 / -2

Opening scene. Evening in the suburbs. A tall, muscular man with windswept hair and a determined jaw is busily moving packages around the back of his truck. A group of friendly kids approaches.

Neighborhood children: Hey Mr. Lindell! Whatcha up to?

Mike Lindell: Hey kids! I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!

Neighborhood child #1: Benjamin Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

Neighborhood child #2: Your pillows sure are the best, Mr. Lindell.

Neighborhood child #3: What’s that sound over there?

Neighborhood child #4: It looks like Antifa thugs and Communists!

Mike Lindell: Run along home, kids. I’ll handle this. <Rips off shirt to reveal totally jacked and ripped physique. Soundtrack strains of AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL are heard.>

Gang of Communists and Losers approaches. Zoom in on Lindell’s face.

Mike Lindell, gritting his teeth: I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!

25
NimbleNavigator2019 [S] 25 points ago +27 / -2

Loser #1: Oh no! It’s the Based Pillow Merchant!

Loser #2: Incoming!

<A volley of incoming soft, luxurious pillows lands amongst the communists and antifa morons.>

Loser #3: Look out!

Loser #4, obviously upset: What are we going to do with all of these premium, made-in-America pillows??

Mike Lindell: What’s the matter? I thought you communists and shills loved FREE STUFF!

<Another round of unbelievable pillows, believe me, lands amongst the stinky, dirty crowd causing them to disperse.>

Mike Lindell tucks his crisp, starched shirt back into his pants and returns to his truck, knowing that the battle is over but the war has just begun.

Mike Lindell: I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!

11
ubermk3 11 points ago +12 / -1

Hollywood needs Jesus and you.

0
Atatakai 0 points ago +1 / -1

ubermk3 - Why does ANYONE need Jesus? If you are Christian, that is fine, but to claim HOLLYWOOD needs him? Why?