Just saying..... IT TOOK 7 DAYS AND THIS DUDES TRYING TO PUT STUFF IN YOUR BUTT
(media.patriots.win)
REEEEEEE!
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I thought the government banned trans fats?
SPICY!
I dub that dude Sasquatch.
fuckin samsquanches. i fuckin hate them bastards.
KeK
You’re spicy
Look fat...it's going in your butt...you know, the thing!
Clap your cheeks for that, you stupid bastards.
im dying
Ridiculously funny
Get ready to socially-distance dem butt cheeks!
Gina approves.
Zing!
Boop!
Most underrated comment on the internetz!!
what does kek mean
God
kek
Easy explanation pede speak for lol
Keck.
Like grandma always said, "The only place you should ever see a tranny is underneath a car".
There’s more than one way to interpret that statement.
I suspect that’s the joke. A quality one, at that.
No way bigot! It was CLEARLY a call to action. FBI HELP! THEY'RE GOING TO START REPAIRING CARS!!!
Careful. I heard this one story about this guy who owned a muffler shop...
Was he into riding snowmobiles?
I bet he liked earth moving equipment too.
But his grandma was an auto mechanic....
Edit: lol ... was blinded to the beauty of the post above by the caps-lock. HaHaHa. Good one.
What does a mechanic and a sex-change surgeon have in common?
They both rebuild the tranny.
Solid joke honestly, but I would just recommend replacing sex change surgeon with plastic surgeon. It’s too obvious what the punchline is with the former, and the latter still makes perfect sense once you hear the punchline.
Quality stuff though
I interpret it both ways.
Didn't we see that in some liberal shithole when they protested in the road?
Pretty sure that was the Summer of Love, right?
No, they were called Summer and Love? Oh...
I think they made a movie about that - "Summer Girls, Summer Not"
Rioted, you mean?
Was that before or after she got run over by a reindeer?
Great. I followed her advice and am now dating Kevin, my trans mechanic-in-drag.
We have reached critical clown world. I can’t tell the real stories from the shit posts. I am constantly having to look at the “real fake news” to see if the posts are serious. Cross dressing Assistant HHS secretary, triple masking, now anal COVID tests. Welcome to Idiocracy.
Every time you think they reach the peak of the circus tent, they send out another clown.
Top kek
I have heard the Dems many times brag about what a big tent they have, it’s all starting to come together for me now!
Waiting for Biden to appoint Pennywise to some children's safety council at this point.
Yeah, clown world takes any mention of "peak" as a challenge. Don't encourage it.
What's the difference between a nasal test and a rectum test? The taste.
Depends on the order you receive them
"Second-hand tests" coming next week...
Reduce reuse recycle
Think of mother earth!!1!
She is already grateful for the pipeline shut down and the impending plantations of solar farms. Nothing like covering a bazillion acres of land in rare earth material mined solar panels.
Idiocracy is playing out a lot sooner than I imagined
Leftist "Isn't that a new movie coming out next month starring [insert any hollyweirdo]?"
Better get your anal probed twice, just in case of false positives.
Want to go to Starbucks and get a hand job?
Not now. Batin’
You're not kidding. I'm constantly looking for the shit-post flair on posts.
Yeah, exactly. Like I’m trying to find out if fraud-prez actually put out an EO saying, “No can call Chyna virus becoz white supremacy.”
Hideous, absolutely hideous!
Oh God! Does that mean now they're gonna come for me?
They are coming for all of us, but you just moved up on their list.
Good thing he uses his lefty neighbors wifi. Protip
And just think: it spends an hour every morning to make itself purdy, and this is what it comes up with.
It's a goddam mental patient not a national health "leader".
False. This mentally ill person is a High Priest of the Luciferian Upside Down State.
oof. too true!
"Make itself purdy" -> so, what, to upgrade it self from looking like 3-day-old roadkill? Cause I'm not seeing much of a difference....
No way that look takes an hour. This dude clearly oversleeps on the regular.
What's not to like?
https://patriots.win/p/11R4lIWPTD/pizza-the-slutt/c/
Thanks, I hate it.
Has blood coming out of his...where ever
Goddamn ... the visual that leaves ... is just ... haunting ....
Three chins. Three masks.
Three orgies!*
*down from four last month
Wrong. Three masks per chin, nine masks total. However since that is still killing grandma, shim should just go with an air filter for a 1969 buick skylark.
More Chins than a chinese phone book...whoops...racist
What-what? Covid in da butt
New covid test is an anal swab!
Meme up soldier!
...what? Is this just a meme?
https://nypost.com/2021/01/26/china-using-anal-swabs-to-detect-covid-19-report/
Thank you the lack of context was confusing af
BMJ: Rapid Response: Rectal Swabs for Covid-19 Diagnosis
NY Post: China using anal swabs to detect COVID-19: report
Slate: China Is Now Requiring COVID-19 Tests Taken by Anal Swab
You know what? I think there's some merit here though. Think about it: WHY are masks useless? In fact why did the case numbers skyrocket after mask mandates?
Because we're looking at the wrong kind of spread. People put too much faith in hand sanitizers and surface cleaners that don't take care of the real problem - shit particles. Add to that when you put on, take off, adjust your mask you're concentrating shit particles around your mouth and nose that stay there.
What if it all is transmitted through shit and saliva and the masks have done nothing but exacerbate it?
....it's been poopy finger all along!!!!!
Old Chinese proverb say: Man that goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with shitty finger.
I remember at the very beginning of all this, reading something about how the virus can be in your poop, and I remembered that the fecal-oral route is the most virulent method that a virus/bacteria/parasite can possibly be transmitted.
It's not even just what you indirectly touched anymore. It's, did a fly land on a poop particle and then land on something you touched, then you touched your mouth after? Did someone poop in a lake and then a week later someone caught an oyster downriver and ate it? Congrats, now you have (whatever fecal-oral-transmitted organism in question).
It kind of makes sense in a way. If there were a mundane virus that you wanted to use to depress the economy and force a political change, you'd want to find a way to "dial down" the virus at a later date as arbitrarily as you dialed it up.
So if this mundane virus really was quite virulent and spread primarily through physical and close contact, but you maintained the narrative that it was "airborne" (which even the CDC says it's not, technically) then you would have more or less of a constant after some time since people would start wearing masks and socially distancing.
Then you could inflate the case counts with a testing mechanism that contains a "tuning" variable: amplifications. Want more cases reported? Turn up the variable. Want fewer? Turn it down.
But if you were to be honest and say that it was actually physical contact with surfaces that were the primary means of spread, you'd have to REALLY kill the economy to stop it dead in its tracks. No big box stores, no grocery stores, no Liquor Stores, no pot dispensaries, etc. Then you'd see it die out in a month.
But in the end, it is just a mundane virus. It's a mild flu, certainly milder than your run-of-the-mill seasonal influenza and it served its purpose.
What?! In the Butt?! BWAHAHAhahahahhahahahshahahahahhaHahahhahahahahahaha. <breath> BWAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa! Lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
No way... please say you’re joking
Boogie in your butt! - Eddie Murphy
https://youtu.be/07P538K83iU
I had completely forgotten about that song.
"But if it saves even one life..."
...she said waddling 9 months pregnant to the abortion clinic
Why do it that soon? Just kill it after it’s born.
That would be safer and morally equivalent, except you forgot the "magic of the birth canallllllllllll".
This is why it's impossible to murder anyone born via c-section. Legally, they're not actually people!
Its funny how leftists think a few inches changes the moral/legal status of a person. Killing a baby is ok, if it hasn’t passed the few inches of the vagina. But once they go those few inches, boom, magically becomes a real person.
Illegal immigrant passes a few inches over the border and, boom, undocumented citizen. Let’s get them voting, driving, working, paying taxes (lol), and collecting every benefit under the sun. A few inches into Mexico? “Of course we won’t let them vote and siphon off taxpayers!” A few inches into the US “of course they should vote and get as much taxpayer cash as their pockets can carry!”
In both cases, it’s the same exact person before and after the short travel. But for some reason they think the magical vagina or the magical border confers a whole new status on all who cross it.
just make it comfortable first
As long as we make it comfortable all will be okay.
"....saving more lives....to abort later...."
So they want to do anal swabs now for Covid? Still going to do the drive through testing? That ought to spoil your lunch.
"I needs to check inside ya asshole, honey..."
Who pays who for that procedure
The John.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNWYt-KxQhU
I just shit my pants after that one....anyone got a swab?
Just put it in a mason jar ... close enough.
https://nypost.com/2021/01/26/china-using-anal-swabs-to-detect-covid-19-report/
Upvote the source for context:
https://nypost.com/2021/01/26/china-using-anal-swabs-to-detect-covid-19-report/
Shout out to u/Mooma for posting it ITT.
updoots
wot?
New covid test is an anal swab!
You're shittin right?
No
Whelp, time to learn how to shit on command.
They are even saying farts may spread it ........
Well then my old boss needs put in isolation because he's a literal super spreader I mean fogger
Damn I ate 2 bowls of white limas last night. I might have covid. Yall better keep a wide berth. You might get it
Lol
Wouldn't it be an absolute scream if it turns out WuFlu was never translated by respiratory aerosols at all and it was totally transmitted via fart cloud and shitty dirty hands entirely?
The whole time we had the diaper on the wrong end?
Lmao the irony
Er this is probably true. People have studied and concluded this and it is why old age homes are problematic. They have a high rate of fecal transmission as the reason most people end up there is they can't really take care of their bathroom needs on their own anymore.
now THAT would be fucked up! if this whole time it was transmitted by gas o.o
Mandatory Maskholes, now!
It’s a mask for your asshole. :)
Covid fart muffler
Then might as well fart in their face while they ass swabbing you.
Makes sense now why they went do hard on Goya lmao
farts are colonge for gay people. this must be more rampant in the gay community then even AIDS
...I've actually had a weird suspicion about this for a while.
Like, normal gay people smell normal, but the gay man-children in obese adult bodies all smell literally like farts and poop.
Quick trip to Taco Bell before test?
Yes hopefully scheduled in advanced enough to have the Natural Light/Taco Bell storm brewing.
Please yell "Nothing Can Stop What Is Coming!!!" when you cake-batter their face-shields.
Hopefully not ... would be messy.
ah, ha. I see what you did there
Remember, "Anal swabs are against my religion"
Fucking hell haha...
They swabbin with their tongue?
"Do it for science, baby..."
Remember boys, if you don't find this thing to be attractive, then you are a bigot.
proud biggot then
Wax its balls. Yes, you have to.
'Member Jessica Yaniv? I 'member.
I also 'member when facebook and canadian media (under government orders) covered it up because this was literally what conservatives feared was going to happen if you let transgenders into women's restrooms.
For those not in the know, "Jessica Yaniv" is a mtf transgender who went to a bunch of Brazilian waxing places to get a Brazilian wax.
A Brazilian wax is getting your vagina waxed.
When the immigrant Brazilian women who couldn't speak English well said they're not waxing Jessica Yaniv's balls, she sued them in the Canadian Civil Rights Tribunal.
Jessica Yaniv has also been screenshotted fantasizing about being alone in women's restrooms and women's locker rooms with naked women and underaged little girls.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu_ _ ....... Dr Dick must be lonely without Governor Wolf to pack his fudge....
Remember this mentality ill knob goblin is a pedo. Don’t ever forget that part.
Dr Dick is a pediatric psychologist that specializes in childhood eating disorders....
DEMORALIZATION.
If you remove moral standards this is what you get. Them installing this degenerate into a public office is the CCP rubbing our noses in our weakness (aka our "tolerance"). They are laughing at us.
Democrats/Leftists are just trying to see how much people will tolerate.
So far, only a few of us have pushed back against their obvious attempts to control every single thing we do and treat us exactly like mindless oxen who exist only to work for them and feed them.
Right now, the people handing down these ideas must be going home and laughing themselves to death every single night.
They must have drunken parties where they see who can come up with the most outrageous thing to inflict on the populace, and then take bets as to whether people will hold still for it or not - and so far, the people in general HAVE held still for it. They actually shame and insult and report to authorities their family, friends, and neighbors who do not.
If I had not seen this, I would never, ever have believed it.
I think they want one or two people to snap, so they can demonize and prosecute. No telling what happens if one or two million snap...
Democrats LITERALLY want to fuck America.
Anal chyna virus swabs?
https://nypost.com/2021/01/26/china-using-anal-swabs-to-detect-covid-19-report/
So I'm going to have the shits longer than the coof? We destroyed the country for this?
I'd be more than happy to drop them a hot log on a plate for them to examine. But nothing is getting stuck in my ass.
Give them your rectum, bigot!
Be infectious for two days, test positive for two months.
yes we live in fucking clown world
Please LORD take me now!!!
he's not coming....it's up to us man. free will :/ unfortunately
FKN CREEP
🤣🤣. I love this place, but I cannot drink coffee while cruising the threads.
Oh you definitely can ... you just regularly have to wipe down your monitor :)
I was going to eat a danish and saw this post. Thanks, Pede. I most likely will not have lunch now either.
lol sorry fren. the shit you wake up to now smh
Put it in your butt, bigot. If you refuse it means you hate science.
I used to laugh at the episode of South Park where they started shoving food up their ass.
Now I'm desperately hoping that Xiden's handlers didn't see it and get any ideas ...
"Gotta get in there REAL deep...to be safe..."
We have truly reached peak clown world when we have mentally ill people making healthcare decisions for our country.
What in the fuck am I looking at, Jabba the Hutt?
'I promise just the tip baby'
Next expert opinion: "The bigger the swab, the more accurate the test. Studies have shown that larger black silicon swabs with smooth mushroom-shaped tips have a 99.998% accuracy rate."
I thought it was funny to ask when will be you forced to wear anal probes to combat the virus.... reality ruins another joke.
SCIENCE!
That's a man, baby!
Honestly that's more restraint than I expected
I hear anal swabbing for covid is next ( i kid you not)....this freak will want a 2nd and 3rd opinion......
Apparently that's what this meme is based on
"This is the size I enjoy", said the Bidnen's assistant Sex Care Secretary. (large pump of Astroglide in front, unrelated)
uncomfortable
Link? Story? What? I haven't had a chance to read the entire internet today.
here's one there are others lol
https://www.newsweek.com/covid-anal-swabs-beijing-residents-more-accurate-says-chinese-expert-1564381
Fer cryin' in a bucket. Don't we understand that we are in the Western world and everything they do in China is upside down?!
Where does it say this has anything to do with the US?
Because whatever China does, we now do. Welcome to America 2.
likely already a shortage of hamsters with this ass clown
OK guys this one is TOP KEK
Well its a guy, so....
Nasal ticklers now anal swabs? Wtf
Comedic Level 1000. I’m dead
Brutal anal is bad enough, but from this repulsive thing is pure insult.
You can check me for coof, after you wrangle that turd from the toilet.
There is nothing coming out of this horrific abomination that could benefit the animal world. Road Kill.
I’m now starting to believe Idiocracy is a documentary from the future.
F'ing ugly SOB.
Leftists are really interested in violating an innocent child's butt, its just we are in the way.