If your wife agrees to say the traditional wedding vows of: "Will you obey him, and serve him, love, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others keep yourself only to him, so long as you both shall live?"
If your fiancee agrees to these wedding vows, your marriage will last. If she doesn't agree to those vows, your wedding won't last. It's simple stuff.
Based on what lol? I think the whole "obey and serve him" part makes some people uncomfortable because it suggests an uneven power dynamic. To each their own though.
There is no such thing as an "even" power dynamic in a marriage. There needs to be a head of household and it generally has to be a man. People don't like that today cause females have been taught an assertive, strong man is a bad thing and equate it to "violent misogynist".
The "sitcom" man is what society tries to push. Fat, lazy, stupid and scheming all the time cause his "wife" who really acts like his mother wants to ruin his fun.
It's one thing to have a head of the household or guy who works and woman who stays home and raises kids but personally I'd hate to have my girlfriend, in front of a bunch of people and a priest, promise to serve and obey me. I want a partnership, not a slave. If you want total obediance you can get a dog.
That's your interpretation. That's not where the origins come from. Obeying the husband means to trust in his decisions and respect his position as head of household. It doesn't mean to slave and be obedient like a dog lmao.
Don't worry about owning a dog. Men like you generally turn into one within a few years of a serious relationship as your woman takes control.
If it's not meant to be interpreted literally then why even say it? Either you and your wife love each other and share the same values or you don't. If a public promise is required to trust your wife then the relationship was fucked to begin with. "Obeying the husband means to trust in his decisions" - That goes both ways. Aren't you going to trust in your wifes decisions?
A public promise? you know you can get married in private with the same vows right? It has nothing to do with declaring it publicly.
Do you even know what a promise is? Why people commit to them?
I'm not too sure what you don't understand about head of household. The buck stops there. It doesn't mean the man is right all the time.
It means the woman has decided to marry a man she deems strong and decisive and that those characteristics give her trust in his decision making and that she will respect them because of those attributes.
It doesn't mean obey him like a dog. Every partnership has a leader whether the parties believe in it, believe it, or see it. Men are supposed to be the leaders of their households.
Even in your "partnership", one of you runs the show whether you know it or not.
Jesus told you not to make any promises
If people followed the Bible everything would work out.
It says yes that the wife is to respect her husband (doesn't mean be a doormat)
But people leave out the part where the husband is to lay down his life for his wife.
Yes. It basically makes it clear we are to honor and respect our husbands, as long as they cherish and respect us.
Divorce rates suggest otherwise....
Brah, you realize almost everyone's vows today are not what I wrote, right? The vows have changed to remove obey+serve. That's why this is actually a neat trick. You can tell if your marriage will last by whether the woman will choose to recite obey+serve. if she says no because "my equality", your marriage is doomed from the start.
Some women say these exact vows and get cheated on anyway by scumbag spouses.
Your neat trick works if you don't find out your spouse is a lying sociopath after you're married with a kid on the way.
This was from a male perspective, sorry.
I'd say the easiest way for women to tell if a man will stay faithful is if the man is less attractive than the woman. Attractive women who marry less attractive men BUT ALSO submit to the man will likely get the man to stay faithful. This guy is going to feel like he has life made and would never jeopardize his situation. The women throwing themselves at him are going to be less attractive than his wife so it'll never be worth it for him. The marriages I always see fail for women in which the woman didn't initiate the failure is when one of two things happen: The woman stops submitting to her husband and starts trying to assert herself as equal in all aspects thus ruining the power balance and her overall attractiveness to the man or the woman married a good looking guy relative to her. These men always get tempted by doing better.
Not sure i agree, as it was a less attractive male, and the wife had to go to work to pay bills and both sets of debt because his useless drunk ass couldn't get a better paying job.
You boys all talk big talk but there are a lot of very conservative women out there who end up with the short end of the stick by men who are selfish lying shitbags. In an ideal world, you'd be right. But there's no accounting for immature women getting duped into a deal with a devil.
Bang on truth.
I mean, the situation fucked for men and women. It's too big a problem to immediately solve but I do think we can take steps toward the right direction. Getting rid of communism and its influence in society would go a long way to mending things between men and women IMO. Then sexual liberation next as that is a complete disaster. People need to start teaching morals again instead of hoping morality is just learned by osmosis. Also, wisdom needs to be taught and society needs to respect the wisdom passed on. People need to enforce things through discipline. Total freedom to do anything isn't the right way. But we're all just chugging along best we can.
Have more than a couple of kids starting no later than 2 years and your marriage will probably last.
All the single moms on dating apps beg to differ. My trick is actually going to correlate with outcomes much more closely. Though, I agree with you that kids are important.
MORE THAN A COUPLE
3+
Divorce rate dramatically lowers when the couple has 3 or more kids
Hmm, good point... I actually haven't seen very many single moms with 3+ kids, could also be because few women want 3+ kids but that could also be a correlative factor of marriages lasting. I think women that pull the "I only want 1-2 kids because I want to have time to work + do other things and it's expensive" don't have the right values for marriage to last. The women who want 3+ kids are more family oriented and thus, the probability of the marriage lasting is higher.
Funny story on that though. I do know of one guy who had 3 kids with his wife and then his wife left him. This multi-millionaire guy. I worked for his company. Hid wife was the hottest blonde bimbo you could imagine. The guy was a short pudgy guy. Typical rich guy with golddigger. Anyway, he signed a prenup BUT the prenup had a clause in it where it became void if there were 3+ kids. Immediately after having 3 kids, his wife left him.... Idiot.
I got that stat from a book, sorry to blow up, but it does seem if you can hit three kids it does help and the purpose of a marriage does seem to be to have kids and will naturally fall a part if you don’t.
I’m fine with those vows. I don’t interpret it as slavery. I interpret it as I respect his decisions and wishes and I don’t betray him or his trust. And the same goes for him. It says in the Bible that the man must honor and respect his wife as well.
That's exactly what it is. The women preoccupied with 50/50 everything such that they interpret obey+serve as slavery/property/demeaning tend to be overly focused on the wrong things IMO. It says right in his vows to love, comfort and honour her... does a man do this to his slaves? People need to open their eyes a little to traditional relationships and pull the blinders off as far as I'm concerned. A lot of what people have been told to interpret the traditional ways is subversion and entirely wrong. Did some men abuse their wives? Yes and men still do today, just like women abuse their husbands too. It didn't mean that was every single relationship.