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Comments (66)
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34
KnobGoblin 34 points ago +34 / -0

So that means if I fall asleep on the plane and it slips down I don’t have to be treated like a fucking terrorist?

51
bangbus 51 points ago +51 / -0

“Reasons other than sleeping...” if you fall asleep and it falls down that would be an act of bioterrorism. Sorry, but rules are rules.

20
VonBustacap 20 points ago +20 / -0

No, that means you will be treated like a terrorist for falling asleep.

19
bubadmt 19 points ago +19 / -0

Well, no. You're white, so you're automatically a terrorist.

16
BallsackPaneer [S] 16 points ago +16 / -0

Sorry, but it only applies if you're passed out drunk on the plane.

  1. If you're asleep you must be drunk

  2. If you sober up while sleeping you're in violation

  3. If you're at the Biden country club you must consume enough quaaludes to achieve cerebral palsy.

14
MyDogCompletesMe 14 points ago +14 / -0

So, plan of attack:

  1. Board plane, immediately begin drinking alcohol (approved no-mask)
  2. Continue drinking until vomiting (approved no-mask)
  3. After vomiting, pass out (this is not sleep)
  4. Awaken from non-sleep unconsciousness and disembark.

Not a Terrorist!!

9
BallsackPaneer [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Plan approved!

Please test plan in our Staging environment (Greyhound bus) before moving it to Production. (Cucked Airlines)

3
Averon 3 points ago +3 / -0

Just remember, if the plan fails, be prepared for federal prison time for being maskless on public transport.

1
Yaemz123 1 point ago +1 / -0

No, just trust the plan... hehe sorry, had to.

1
Yaemz123 1 point ago +1 / -0

No, just trust the plan... hehe sorry, had to.

1
mattroomsq 1 point ago +1 / -0

Or under anesthesia.

1
endthefed11 1 point ago +1 / -0

A sufficient quantity of ketamine could qualify as anesthesia.

3
AlcoholicRetard 3 points ago +3 / -0

Nope. “For reasons other than sleeping”

2
DefaultZero 2 points ago +2 / -0

If you plan on "sleeping" on a plane, the only option I see is for someone to hit you over the head and cause a blackout.

Then you can safely remove your mask.

16
Inspector71 16 points ago +16 / -0

Oh good, so if I have seizure, and my mask isn't on, I don't get fined.

Thanks assholes, very generous of you.

7
chaletschuss3467 7 points ago +7 / -0

So generous. I'm so happy these leaders take such good care of us, and think of everything.

5
2008RonPaul2012 5 points ago +5 / -0

No I mean you'll get fined, but if you fight it in court you will probably win. Only if you fight it though.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
13
Quality 13 points ago +13 / -0

If I pass out due to a lack of oxygen, its good to know that its now socially acceptable for someone to remove my fourteen masks for me.

3
MapleBaconWaffles 3 points ago +3 / -0

Only fourteen? Think of your grandmother.

3
Quality 3 points ago +3 / -0

You're right, sir. I'm being selfish.

9
sustainable_saltmine 9 points ago +9 / -0

NOT wearing a mask when sleeping. Sorry. Nope

6
MyDogCompletesMe 6 points ago +6 / -0

Wear a sign that says "Unconscious due to drug abuse" and you'll be fine.

8
jubyeonin 8 points ago +8 / -0

Amtrak fascists were threatening to kick off people for sleeping without one on. Ridiculous. Anyone with at least half a brain knew not to wear them for extended periods of time at the very least. I wonder if they're going to stop.

5
4
RegularAmerican 4 points ago +4 / -0

They hate human beings. They're anti human. And cruel.

8
CorradoSoprano 8 points ago +8 / -0

That'll save him some cash, more to kick up to the big guy then.

8
deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
7
Filo76 7 points ago +7 / -0

I get this feeling that the CDC and all these other “health” entities are just releasing made up garbage to feel relevant. Like the manager with nothing to do, they need to create solutions to non existent problems or make busy work to rationalize the existence of their job.

7
grndmrshlgando 7 points ago +7 / -0

its a bit more sinister than that

3
Filo76 3 points ago +3 / -0

Oh definitely. But they act like what they do isn’t nefarious or tyrannical. They buy into their own lies.

7
VonBustacap 7 points ago +7 / -0

Bill Cosby is happy.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
DiscoverAFire 1 point ago +1 / -0

Beat me to it!

5
mainsoda 5 points ago +6 / -1

They call it Hunters exception?

4
Granny_git_yer_gun 4 points ago +4 / -0

Nice to hear the dead are not required to wear a mask....But they are still required to vote Dem

4
meanwhileinamerica 4 points ago +5 / -1

If I don't have a conscience, can I not wear a mask?

4
OperationCatSpeed 4 points ago +4 / -0

Only if you’re participating in a peaceful protest of racial injustice.

4
TheTrooper424 4 points ago +4 / -0

Now that's a spicy meatball

4
RonBohr 4 points ago +4 / -0

But they still need to be anal swabbed.

-- CDC

4
RPchill1 4 points ago +4 / -0

Fuck these satanic creatures.

3
MrQuacker2020 3 points ago +3 / -0

The real question is, don't federal laws with criminal penalties have to be passed by congress? Can they just make up a law and say it's a illegal now? How exactly would that prosecute that?

2
RedditSucksChinaPoo 2 points ago +2 / -0

Sniffy Joe bending the rules for the little guy

2
sleepingbeautyc 2 points ago +2 / -0

I had surgery recently and I thought the mask was going to be a big deal post surgery but the nurses were cool with me being mask less.

2
peltast 2 points ago +2 / -0

Well, it's a start...

2
RedPillMAGALegend 2 points ago +2 / -0

Where’s Hunter

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
Hanging_Chad 2 points ago +2 / -0

CDC says you don't need to mask a patient to whom you're giving CPR? That's great news

2
baby_puncher_2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

.......or dead.

2
magaeducator 2 points ago +2 / -0

kek

2
Leatherwood 2 points ago +2 / -0

BUT DOES HUNTER HAVE TO WEAR A MASK WHILE SMOKING CRACK? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

2
BallsackPaneer [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

Only if the pipe remains between his lips. Once he's beamed up to the Enterprise he may remove the mask.

2
RegularAmerican 2 points ago +2 / -0

See the chore boy wadded up in the pipe as a filter catches the covid germs as well as the large particles of crack and meth incinerating and flying into the lungs.

2
Data 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hahaha they expect me to wear a mask. 🤣😂🤣😂

2
Light_HIV_Effect 2 points ago +2 / -0

The CDC says I don't have to wear a mask since I'm unconscious, and since you're not a doctor who can make that diagnosis, you can go fuck yourself.

2
Victoryisours 2 points ago +2 / -0

Or throwing up.

1
SteakywithKetchup 1 point ago +1 / -0

The CDC has lost all credibility and I no longer adhere to anything they mandate

1
dubler6 1 point ago +1 / -0

Good for him, dude deserves a break.

1
Skogin 1 point ago +1 / -0

They also say a mask is not required while vomiting, so now I will always identify as a vomiting person.

1
Justsomedude 1 point ago +1 / -0

But does he have to wear it while he fucks his dead brothers daughter?