Many years ago i was a scumbag. One of my friends was a Cuban guy, dating a white girl from an affluent family. Lots of money, had everything she ever wanted; so of course she dates my fellow scumbag.

One day we go to her house and she's mad at my friend. She's accusing him gasp of cheating on her! Nooooo, we both proclaim. Nevar in a meelion yearss. Her reponse? She uttered words that forever made me question man's right to exist, our future and our collective sanity:

"Nigga lemme smell yo dick"

We live on borrowed time, pedes.