Eons ago a strange meteor crash landed into the ocean and split in two. In the center, emanating a blinding light, was the pure spirit of basedness. It washed ashore, where over the course of millions of years it was covered with layer after layer of sediment, exerting the same pressure that transforms coal into diamonds. In the late 20th century, two kids playing in their yard in Georgia stumbled across it. It had been transformed. While on the outside it appeared to be a normal human baby, the rays of basedness it gave off were powerful beyond belief. Unfortunately, the raw power melted the two kids into puddles. But their parents then adopted the based child, and taught her how to control her awesome powers and how to use them to rescue the world from the ugliest forms of leftist decadence and retardation. They named this child Marjorie.