Can someone please explain to me the appeal of watching football? I just don’t get it. I never have. It’s the most boring sport in the history of all sports to watch. Move two inches, call time out, move two inches, call time out, move two inches, call time out... repeat for hours on end until they run out of commercials to air. Watching paint dry would be more exciting.

What the hell is so captivating that it’s hard for people to give up watching? Is it just tradition? Is it the cheerleaders? Is it the commercials? What is it?