Bathsheba, Solomon's mother. David was hanging out on the roof of the palace, perving on her while she was bathing, went over for a quick roll in the hay. Found out she was pregnant, and brought Uriah home to sleep with his wife, no doubt then she would fudge the birthday and pretend that the baby was his. Uriah, SO loyal to the King, wouldn't leave David's palace, except to be sent back to the front. So David had the generals put Uriah in the toughest fighting, but then pull back reinforcements, so he'd be killed. No doubt this also killed a bunch of other loyal soldiers. And then nobody would be the wiser.
Until Samuel, notified of this heinous scheme by God, pretended to be upset over an unrelated matter. Told David that a rich man, who owned hundreds of sheep, had a neighbor who owned only one sheep, but he loved this sheep, and he had it live in his house and treated it like a daughter. Then the rich man killed his neighbor, and stole the sheep. David, furious over this, said "Surely, as The Lord liveth, this man shall die." To which Samuel replied, "Thou art the man." David rends his clothes and weeps over what he'd done. Of course, this is not the end of David's anguish. His first child with Bathsheba takes ill, and David fasts and prays unceasing, until eventually the child dies. At this point, David goes and eats. Confused over his apparently immediate change of heart, his advisors ask David what's up. David, still wearing his rent clothes and ashes, explains that while his son was alive, he spared not a second from begging God for the child's life, but now he was gone, and nothing would change that, so David may as well eat. David explains "He will not return to me, but I will go to him," at least showing that David has no doubt that the Child rests in glory with God, which to me is the firmest argument to kick the crap out of anyone who tries to tell me that unbaptized babies, or the unborn, go to Hell or some sort of "Purgatory."
And then, as I said above, Solomon was David and Bathsheba's second child, who God famously blessed with wisdom, and through whom the line of David continued until down the line Christ was born.
Uriah was a good man. I'd like to imagine that, though in Heaven there will in no wise be any sin, somehow Uriah is able to and allowed to give David shit over that whole episode. Like a "Hey, David, isn't it great that nobody here can, I don't know, bang our wives and then murder us? That's great. Didn't that happen to one of us, back on Earth? Yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."
Bathsheba, Solomon's mother. David was hanging out on the roof of the palace, perving on her while she was bathing, went over for a quick roll in the hay. Found out she was pregnant, and brought Uriah home to sleep with his wife, no doubt then she would fudge the birthday and pretend that the baby was his. Uriah, SO loyal to the King, wouldn't leave David's palace, except to be sent back to the front. So David had the generals put Uriah in the toughest fighting, but then pull back reinforcements, so he'd be killed. No doubt this also killed a bunch of other loyal soldiers. And then nobody would be the wiser.
Until Samuel, notified of this heinous scheme by God, pretended to be upset over an unrelated matter. Told David that a rich man, who owned hundreds of sheep, had a neighbor who owned only one sheep, but he loved this sheep, and he had it live in his house and treated it like a daughter. Then the rich man killed his neighbor, and stole the sheep. David, furious over this, said "Surely, as The Lord liveth, this man shall die." To which Samuel replied, "Thou art the man." David rends his clothes and weeps over what he'd done. Of course, this is not the end of David's anguish. His first child with Bathsheba takes ill, and David fasts and prays unceasing, until eventually the child dies. At this point, David goes and eats. Confused over his apparently immediate change of heart, his advisors ask David what's up. David, still wearing his rent clothes and ashes, explains that while his son was alive, he spared not a second from begging God for the child's life, but now he was gone, and nothing would change that, so David may as well eat. David explains "He will not return to me, but I will go to him," at least showing that David has no doubt that the Child rests in glory with God, which to me is the firmest argument to kick the crap out of anyone who tries to tell me that unbaptized babies, or the unborn, go to Hell or some sort of "Purgatory."
And then, as I said above, Solomon was David and Bathsheba's second child, who God famously blessed with wisdom, and through whom the line of David continued until down the line Christ was born.
Ah gotcha. I remembered parts of it.
Uriah sounds like Belisarius, but without the cucking.
Uriah was a good man. I'd like to imagine that, though in Heaven there will in no wise be any sin, somehow Uriah is able to and allowed to give David shit over that whole episode. Like a "Hey, David, isn't it great that nobody here can, I don't know, bang our wives and then murder us? That's great. Didn't that happen to one of us, back on Earth? Yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."
From the way you tell it, heaven would be like Valhalla, but without the constant battle and Valkyrie cheerleaders.
As for Uriah, I'm not 100% sure but there might be a Battlemech named after him 🤔