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Comments (148)
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135
TheLivingExample 135 points ago +136 / -1

The Bee needs to win awards somehow.

47
RPOZ28 47 points ago +47 / -0

That's cold.

16
Honkey_McCracker 16 points ago +16 / -0

Literally. It's -2°.

10
JerryRiggedElect2 10 points ago +10 / -0

WhooWee where you at, need to get me some of that warmer weather.

6
Dr707 6 points ago +6 / -0

Sitting here in Nebraska, diesel is gelled even with additive. It's like frickin -23 without the wind chill. The furnace isn't really shutting off anymore. Thank god for natural gas, cause the city said yesterday they're going to have rolling blackouts now because the grid is overloaded. I have a generator in the basement hooked straight to a 500 gallon propane tank and it's the first time I'm ever really going to need it.

5
TuckerCarlsonsTie 5 points ago +5 / -0

Imagine the power grid once the Chinese take it over under Biden.

3
CanadianTrump 3 points ago +3 / -0

lmao k

2
this_mortal_coil 2 points ago +2 / -0

It was -9 here last night.

22
Kenrailae 22 points ago +22 / -0

I hear they just give Emmy's out these days.

23
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude 23 points ago +23 / -0

no, you have to kill 1000s in nursing homes to get one

7
TuckerCarlsonsTie 7 points ago +7 / -0

15,000 lives seems to be the running price of a blood Emmy.

It was somewhere around 2.5 rapes for an Oscar.

2
LibertyPrimeWasRight 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wow... usually the Oscar is seen as more prestigious, but it seems the market disagrees!

6
AndrewCuomosEmmy 6 points ago +6 / -0

Can confirm

7
GlobalUnity 7 points ago +8 / -1

Bee: Intelligencia Awards itself for not awarding the BabylonBee for accidentally telling the truth through satire.

1
TrumpIncitedErection 1 point ago +1 / -0

never happen. all white-male editorial board. they must be stopt !

73
WacoKid90 73 points ago +73 / -0

"Dark" humor

34
BunkerHill 34 points ago +34 / -0

Low energy joke.

8
chelthing 8 points ago +8 / -0

ba-dum tss

4
TuckerCarlsonsTie 4 points ago +4 / -0

Has me rolling.

42
Moniie 42 points ago +42 / -0

I need to find out who is writing these headlines and give them a kiss

20
deleted 20 points ago +20 / -0
5
Moniie 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ok....I’ll get I’ll probably get herpes then

3
RinosHangFirst 3 points ago +3 / -0

People pay them for the privilege of giving them quality content to use for profit?

Genius!

2
Philhelm 2 points ago +2 / -0

What do you look like?

26
Gr4ck3L 26 points ago +26 / -0

"Oof, we should move to Florida"

30
hollow_fang 30 points ago +30 / -0

Everyone wants to move to Florida now that it’s one of the few open states in the midst of the scamdemic.

And then their dumbasses are going to vote for a Dem governor who will lock down the state perpetually as a form of punishment.

2
Tamrix 2 points ago +2 / -0

It's almost like democrats are a disease. They destroy one state, move to another not destroyed state and destroy that one too.

26
10gauge 26 points ago +26 / -0

What did socialists use to light their homes before candles? 

31
deleted 31 points ago +31 / -0
23
ohwell316 23 points ago +23 / -0

Electricity

12
nds19 12 points ago +12 / -0

The Deutsche Mark?

2
TuckerCarlsonsTie 2 points ago +2 / -0

Vodka.

2
MAGA_Skull 2 points ago +2 / -0

Whale blubber

16
h3xAd3c1m4L 16 points ago +16 / -0

Lighten up y’all. We were given our socialist allotment of 4 hours of electricity last night. Our house warmed up to a whopping 50 degrees! Thank the Lord Protector Biden and Emperor Xi for their love and generosity! All hail the CCP!

2
Gr4ck3L 2 points ago +2 / -0

Reads like a hallmark card

13
rupok2 13 points ago +13 / -0

I think I made a mistake moving to Texas from Florida. I got a promotion and bought a house so either planning to make it self sufficient with generator and some plants in the backyard or move back to Florida when I can. My wife and I moved thinking about the future since Texas has better schools. If we see a major shift of democrap stuff here I think we will move back.

10
dldeuce 10 points ago +10 / -0

Where do you think the Democrats from New York are moving to? We get the Californians, Florida is getting the Yankees. I'm not sure who is getting the worse deal.

5
rupok2 5 points ago +5 / -0

In my opinion Floridians especially panhandle people are much more likely to actively vote. In texas from what I understand theres alot of apathy going around. But ya both deals are bad but being in orlando vs dallas i feel like orlando is much more conservative.

-12
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude -12 points ago +3 / -15

the power outages have nothing to do with democrats

A cocktail of high power demand, strained gas supply, iced wind turbines and an independent streak that bleeds into how Texas runs its grid has led to widespread and persistent outages stranding people without power to hunker down in their homes as temperatures remain dangerously below freezing.

20
rupok2 20 points ago +20 / -0

Ya I am sure the huge reliance on bullshit windmills is not because of democrat infiltration.... /s

-5
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude -5 points ago +1 / -6

i said nothing about that

i said that the power outages had nothing to with dems

for the record, people are running out of gas, too

9
rupok2 9 points ago +9 / -0

it has absolutely everything to do with dems. Our reliance on "green" bullshit that has caused the load on the grid and caused the power outages are in direct relation to their policies. If we had coal and nuclear this would have happened to a much lesser degree.

-1
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude -1 points ago +1 / -2

because of the extreme cold, the turbines froze up. you cannot expect them to take the time and money to build protection against something that happens every 100 years

the real problem is everyone trying to keep their houses warm during the extreme cold. I some places power usage is at 500% of normal

anyplace else could handle that because states share power. But TX is not connected to anyone else

dems have nothing to do with weather conditions, providing electrical power or infrastructure design

2
ColbyP 2 points ago +2 / -0

Incorrect. Again, had they not relied on shitty power sources like windmills and solar panels, there wouldn't BE this widespread failure.

0
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude 0 points ago +1 / -1

you ain't getting it. they don't rely on them

under normal circumstances, losing all of them would not be a problem

1
magacoder 1 point ago +1 / -0

You're retarded. If you want to know why please let me know.

1
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude 1 point ago +1 / -0

being a practicing retard does make you an expert on the subject

but i could give a rat's ass what you think

1
magacoder 1 point ago +1 / -0

but i could give a rat's ass what you think

comes back the next day to comment.

I care about you, I don't want you misinformed, retard.

1
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude 1 point ago +1 / -0

if you think I am misinformed, inform me

facts only

2
magacoder 2 points ago +2 / -0

I had to make sure you're not trolling, I'm not going to waste my time on a troll.

If we weren't wasting money on windmills and over-regulating our coal & gas plants we wouldn't be in this situation. We were expecting to have 25-48% of wind during this time, it's at 11%. Natural gas was already limited, it shouldn't be. More pipelines.

Our coal plants weren't at max capacity, they've gotten the go ahead to increase, they were limited because of carbon emissions.

We'd only have one problem to solve if it weren't for green shit, local infrastructure.

If they weren't over-regulated in the first place they probably would have had money to maintain and winterize them beforehand.

1
Cornpop_A_Bad_Dude 1 point ago +1 / -0

First, this is a once in a 100 years event. You can not expect them to pay for the engineering and extra equipment in anticipation of that kind of event

Power usage in some areas is up over 500%. Should they have built 5X more power generating stations?

Other states have this problem once in awhile. They get around it because they share electricity with other states.

If TX had this arrangement, there would be no electrical problems at all.

If you want to blame someone, blame whoever made that decision

13
deleted 13 points ago +13 / -0
3
bigdickhangsright 3 points ago +3 / -0

What about the cow's elbows?

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
11
TrumpRules 11 points ago +15 / -4

They already California'd their Texas

-2
borscht-nazi -2 points ago +1 / -3

Fuck you and the lame horse you ride around on:

https://i.imgur.com/RDZJIjX.png

-13
borscht-nazi -13 points ago +4 / -17

Texas was the largest net exporter of migrants to California for decades: https://depts.washington.edu/moving1/California.shtml

What this means is that Texas-raised liberals all migrated to California and made it what it is now.

I know, facts are painful. For liberals. PS: for the brightest among us, which apparently is too many on this board:

2000-2010: alone: https://imgur.com/a/rixqglK

1950-2017: https://i.imgur.com/RDZJIjX.png

5
PelosisFattyLiver 5 points ago +6 / -1

Given the information you provided it looks like that's only true for the 1950s and 1960s, so it'd be much more accurate to say that Texans were the #1 exporter of migrants to California ~70ish years ago and those peoples' children and grandchildren--native Californians--grew up and ruined California.

-3
borscht-nazi -3 points ago +1 / -4

You stupid fucks: https://imgur.com/a/rixqglK

-3
borscht-nazi -3 points ago +1 / -4

All the way into the 00s.

2
PelosisFattyLiver 2 points ago +3 / -1

Uhh, Mexico was the largest net exporter from 1980-2000 with New York, Illinois, Central America, and even the Phillipines beating out Texas according to the link you posted.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
-1
borscht-nazi -1 points ago +1 / -2

Since when did Mexico and the Philippines become US States?

https://imgur.com/a/rixqglK

1
PelosisFattyLiver 1 point ago +2 / -1

"Texas was the largest net exporter of migrants to California for decades"

You never said US states. You said Texas liberals migrated and ruined California. You're wrong based on your own link haha. You could stand to calm down a bit.

1
PelosisFattyLiver 1 point ago +1 / -0

You just keep proving yourself wrong lmao you can't really be this stupid can you? I'm just gonna block you because you're insanely angry, but everyone knows you've proven yourself wrong. That's why you're downvoted and everyone is telling you to read your own link. You aren't quite bright enough to draw the correct conclusions.

-1
borscht-nazi -1 points ago +1 / -2

Please, do the world a favor -- kys.

2
ColbyP 2 points ago +3 / -1

Did you read your own link? The numbers you linked don't support that assertion.

-3
borscht-nazi -3 points ago +1 / -4
-4
borscht-nazi -4 points ago +1 / -5

https://imgur.com/a/rixqglK

You are literally too stupid to insult.gif.

3
ColbyP 3 points ago +4 / -1

Imagine being this stupid

-4
borscht-nazi -4 points ago +1 / -5

No, I can't. How do you not choke on your own spit every day is beyond me.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
-3
deleted -3 points ago +3 / -6
-2
borscht-nazi -2 points ago +1 / -3

For future reference, if you need to "debate" these blowhard shithead types: https://i.imgur.com/RDZJIjX.png

-4
borscht-nazi -4 points ago +1 / -5

I know, thanks for the support though. It's much more than that though, the same ignorance exists across the whole aisle though, not just Texas, and it's not just Texas to blame -- there are transplants from all over in California.

Idk if the stupidity can be fixed at this point via reason at least at this point in time. The irony is that these "freedom fighters" or whatever other legends in their own minds they fancy themselves as don't realize that they are encouraging and perpetuating the "divide and conquer" tactic of the left by attacking fellow Americans in other states based on that state's government politics without giving it another thought as if we, Californians in this instance, are all straight-up marxists.

And it's mind-boggling to see this sort of stupidity being constantly perpetuated on this very board.

-6
deleted -6 points ago +2 / -8
3
borscht-nazi 3 points ago +7 / -4

Found the CNN employee, apparently.

0
deleted 0 points ago +3 / -3
-2
borscht-nazi -2 points ago +2 / -4

Ok, zbeba.

2
deleted 2 points ago +4 / -2
-3
borscht-nazi -3 points ago +2 / -5

I've seen obtuseness here before but this is a whole natha levah. Just leave already.

8
kjj9 8 points ago +9 / -1

Also on the Bee (from last week): In Mail-In Impeachment Vote, Senate Convicts Trump 8275 To 3

"Our holy democracy has spoken," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "Do not ask any questions or you are a blasphemer against the sacred sacredness of our vote. Everyone can go home now!"

5
GinoInTheFight 5 points ago +5 / -0

Now if they had only brought their wildfires with them./s

7
Belleoffreedom 7 points ago +7 / -0

Hush yo' mouth! Texas has fire season, too.

1
LibertyPrimeWasRight 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah, but Texas also has sensible forestry management that mostly prevents it from being the recurring state crisis that California has.

0
booblitchutz 0 points ago +1 / -1

bastrop has entered the chat

4
muddobber 4 points ago +5 / -1

I wish all these lefties moving to Texas would go back where they came from. They are turning Texas into 3ed world state, Houston Nigeria, Dallas Mexico, Austin New York, El Paso Mexico, San Antonio Mexico. Will get worse with China Joe's open borders.

2
Trump2000 2 points ago +2 / -0

I mean with the open boarders now prepare for it to get a lot worse. They are also looking to shift the blame for the upcoming Covid outbreak from migrant caravans to the openess of the R of Texas.

3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
2
CALI_MAGA_MAMA 2 points ago +2 / -0

My power was out in Cali last Sunday, and it doesn't even make the news anymore. 😔

2
cbonez416 2 points ago +2 / -0

Thats amazing hahaha

2
deleted 2 points ago +3 / -1
2
Michael_Obongo 2 points ago +2 / -0

Red folks need to move back to Ca. Just fuck their plans up.

2
Fallingshadow 2 points ago +3 / -1

This is barely even satire.

1
Light_HIV_Effect 1 point ago +2 / -1

So cutting, and accurate.

-1
1
Light_HIV_Effect 1 point ago +1 / -0

What's your point?

-2
borscht-nazi -2 points ago +0 / -2

That there is very loud wind between your left and right ear. What frequency is it, 440 Hz, or higher?

1
Light_HIV_Effect 1 point ago +1 / -0

You can't explain your point because it's actually irrelevant.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
dldeuce 1 point ago +2 / -1

They missed the reference to wind farms. They missed calling home and encouraging those they left behind to step up to the lead Texas has on fully embracing dependency on wind power. Half the capacity failed yesterday right when we needed it. Windspeeds were up big time yesterday Texas leads the nation with 23% dependency on wind power. Cities in the Austin area like Georgetown have tried, and failed, to become 100% dependent.

0
GingerMan512 0 points ago +1 / -1

Natural gas also failed. Our system just isn't built to withstand this cold. This is a once in a several generation storm.

7
dldeuce 7 points ago +7 / -0

You say that without any recognition of how the Democrats have entirely manipulated the energy market, virtually eliminating coal.

Also, lets keep in mind that what we heard through politicians, officials, and media talking heads yesterday either censored any reference to wind power or severely minimized it.

A Centerpoint VP interview was played all day on local news. He said merely power generation failed. Abbott was interviewed and said natural gas and nuclear failed with not even a mention of wind. The media blathered on all day about peak demand, only briefly allowing the mention of the word wind. Abbott emphasized "private" companies over and over, evading the obvious overbearing government regulation and manipulation of the market. Natural gas plants failed? Which ones? What percentage of total capacity failed? Same for nuclear. Fifty percent of the 25% total capacity of wind power that we depend on failed yesterday. I never heard the media, officials, or politicians mention that once yesterday. I wonder why that is?

1
QSWO1 1 point ago +1 / -0

I will add that Texas has been booming for years without major investments to infrastucture. The amount without power is probably close to the amount that moved here in the last decade. My numbers may be off a bit, but what major projects for power, or water have been completed to handle the influx of people? Forsight seems to be lacking in the population, cash, tax, and voter grab. Water will be the issue again come late spring.

3
dldeuce 3 points ago +3 / -0

The issue is liberal progressive socialist policies and politics that have caved into it for years. Why do we have such a migration of population? Why have we lost safe reliable power from coal? Why are we trying to rely on such unreliable wind power? We all know why. What we've got to learn is the same thing gun control activists have known for a long time. You can't give in to their incremental power grab. Not an inch. We have to treat those that do for what they are. They're traitors. I'm watching these idiots that are in control of this progressive vision of central control, central planning. They're idiots. We're fools for giving them such unbridled power over our lives.

1
QSWO1 1 point ago +1 / -0

I agree. Texas has for decades advertised itself like the late night ads on tv saying you can airbrush 30 years off your face for $19.99. Its simply not true. They however increased taxes/voter registration without laying a foundation for the future. Illegal labor is 30% of the success Texas claims as far as i can see. That sucks to hear, but someone had to say it.

2
dldeuce 2 points ago +2 / -0

What gets me is that Texas always gets a pass at the national GOP level. I remember Rick Perry on the national stage right after they increased taxes by 26%!

1
QSWO1 1 point ago +1 / -0

Rick Perry also went to china for Texas's benifit.

0
QLARP 0 points ago +1 / -1

The coal plants froze over too brosky

1
dldeuce 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah? Which ones?

1
SpaceCadet 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is a very good point. I don’t watch the news but if they didn’t bring up the fact that 23% of our energy (wind turbines) is frozen and locked up then they are definitely purposely hiding information from the public which means it’s more than likely the biggest aspect of the energy crisis right now.

5
dldeuce 5 points ago +5 / -0

12%, ie half of the 23% capacity. As I understand natural gas has also been impacted, but given their clear intent to minimize the publicity of the wind problem, I want to know how much of the natural gas production we lost. The one word no one is mentioning is coal. What's the biggest difference in our power grid now as compared to 1983 and 1989 when we had similar winter storms? Coal!

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Kaisgrammy 1 point ago +1 / -0

It won’t be California until you have to ration water one shower a week. And half the state burns every summer followed by mudslides every winter. All so you can live in a tiny house hours away from work cuz that’s all you can afford while paying extra for the special gas that makes the air clean. Of course you have to drive cuz the high speed rail is just a train that goes to nowhere you need to go. And the cities are off limits cuz of the needles and the poop and the crime. Fond memories of my years there. Overall, I’d say Texas is way way way ahead. And it’s Texas. Just my opinion.

1
Bullet3250 1 point ago +2 / -1

KEKEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKKEK!

1
CarbonMan 1 point ago +1 / -0

The babylonbee deserved a pulitzer

1
Legionnaire0311 1 point ago +2 / -1

I've grown to love the Bee, even when they take jabs at the right.

1
HistoryInvestigator 1 point ago +1 / -0

Not all Californians who move to TX are liberals, a lot of conservatives are moving there.

0
borscht-nazi 0 points ago +1 / -1

No, seriously, where did ya'll bitches go? C'mon, cunts!

0
borscht-nazi 0 points ago +4 / -4

Texas was the largest net exporter of migrants to California for decades: https://depts.washington.edu/moving1/California.shtml

What this means is that Texas-raised liberals all migrated to California and made it what it is now.

I know, facts are painful. For liberals.


PS: for the brightest among us, which apparently is too many on this board:

2000-2010: alone: https://imgur.com/a/rixqglK

1950-2017: https://i.imgur.com/RDZJIjX.png

3
Twitter 3 points ago +6 / -3

poor texas if you watch twitch you see all of them moving from california to texas,then they al proceed to shit on america, Americans (anti americans) seem to be the only people who shit on their own country constantly and show no pride.

-4
borscht-nazi -4 points ago +3 / -7

God bless your little heart.

0
borscht-nazi 0 points ago +1 / -1

3900 ups, only three downs, proved you wrong, yet.. where ya'll at? Cunts. Fucking bernie bros, that's about it.

0
borscht-nazi 0 points ago +1 / -1

Now it's just embarrassing for you, very fine people:

https://i.imgur.com/RDZJIjX.png