3465
Be very careful, Frens. (media.patriots.win)
posted ago by KuzoKevin ago by KuzoKevin +3466 / -1
Comments (153)
sorted by:
232
lapalapa 232 points ago +233 / -1

Don't stay with a woman that goes through your phone.

112
mintyfresh 112 points ago +113 / -1

i.e. don't stick your dick in crazy.

31
Dialectic 31 points ago +33 / -2

Can you lay it ON the crazy though? These rules need fleshed out. It might be too hard for some.

33
IntersectionalXhe 33 points ago +38 / -5

You just have to make sure that you don’t blast her gash. Pull out and let loose your patriot wave on she/her back. Then ask her husband/boyfriend to get her a towel.

26
trauncher 26 points ago +30 / -4

IF she's a crazy one, flip her over, take aim, and give her the classic patriot wave facial spelling "Trump Won" across her forehead. then tell her husband/boyfriend t it's not acceptable to wipe it off until Biden is thrown out of office, and Trump is seated... because HE FUCKING WON.

11
IAbsolutelyDare 11 points ago +11 / -0

By a lot.

7
BloodElfSupporter 7 points ago +8 / -1

I spilled my coffee reading that

2
trauncher 2 points ago +2 / -0

If you try, its possible to work "TRUMP WON" into every statement you make. the other stuff .. well... yea, I kinda pressed the line there. sorry. lol

2
BloodElfSupporter 2 points ago +3 / -1

I love your humor fren ;)

6
Ghostof_PatrickHenry 6 points ago +7 / -1

blast her gash

fuggin kek

4
goldkeyboardwarrior 4 points ago +5 / -1

I think I’m good since I got snipped a few years ago. Doesn’t protect from STDs but it keeps unexpected kids from popping out.

4
Hanging_Chad 4 points ago +4 / -0

I wish more libs would snip

5
Philhelm 5 points ago +5 / -0

They do snip, but it's the brain stem of a living fetus.

2
Hanging_Chad 2 points ago +2 / -0

Wtf? Is that really how they abort?

1
Haitianbychoice360 1 point ago +1 / -0

Welp. That escalated quickly.

0
unicornpoop 0 points ago +2 / -2

Guys, do not do this.

2
goldkeyboardwarrior 2 points ago +3 / -1

I already have a child that I love, I don't need anymore especially when I am approaching my 40s. If you want to continue having children I wish you all of the happiness in the world with your family.

1
Coolgenner 1 point ago +1 / -0

Don’t put the baby batter in her axe wound.

18
Auroraalpha 18 points ago +18 / -0

Thou shalt not simp.

2
MindsetRoulette 2 points ago +2 / -0

Let's just ask lorena bobbitt's husband, she laid his around all over the place.

1
Hunters_crackpipe197 1 point ago +1 / -0

You need to watch this... https://youtu.be/pInk1rV2VEg

1
Absolon 1 point ago +3 / -2

But aren't all woman crazy? Just some are the right kind of crazy ;) .

8
Philhelm 8 points ago +8 / -0

50% of women take psychiatric drugs. The other 50% are untreated.

-2
BlueEyeDevil -2 points ago +8 / -10

Nah, you can. Just don't give them your real phone number, real name, and never take them to your house. Hotel or their place.

15
SupremeDearLeader2 15 points ago +15 / -0

They can find you via DNA to level fake rape charges tho ....

4
Fatfucker 4 points ago +4 / -0

They don't have my dna!

7
CelesteD 7 points ago +7 / -0

they dont even need it. they can extrapolate from relatives, its how the golden state killer was found.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
CelesteD 1 point ago +1 / -0

nope, they had suspicions and used some of his relatives DNA.

"Golden State Killer caught using relative's DNA from genealogy websites, prosecutors say"

-4
swab_my_ass_china -4 points ago +1 / -5

So they aren’t using it to chase fake rapers. They are capturing sick twisted murderers. Stop spreading bullshit hypotheticals jeez.

3
CelesteD 3 points ago +4 / -1

excuse me? I'm not spreading fake anything I'm telling people that government agencies do not even need their DNA to track them using dna. They only need close relatives, maybe not even close.

You gonna try and tell me the gubmint never abuses its power or something?

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/26/us/golden-state-killer-dna-report/index.html

Warning: its CNN, but my point stands. If any one of your relatives have submitted their DNA to a government agency, they can find you too.

NOWHERE did I even mention rape, or anything related to it. Please at least try and use some comprehension when reading something.

-4
GlockArm -4 points ago +2 / -6

You belong on reddit you straw-manning pearl-clutching faggot.

-2
GlockArm -2 points ago +1 / -3

You might think.

3
LegacyOfWinning 3 points ago +3 / -0

Wow that's terrifying

3
Artek 3 points ago +3 / -0

Kek!

0
Klown_Schwab 0 points ago +2 / -2

casual sex is degenerate

-7
Pandas4Trump -7 points ago +1 / -8

All right Alex, I'll take, "Signs he's cheating on his wife for $1000"

11
NoVaccine 11 points ago +11 / -0

Any woman who has been through a college or university in the last 10 years is very likely, not for certain, but VERY likely to be morally, ethically, emotionally, and intellectually compromised in a severe manner due to her Ne-Marxist indoctrination at school. Be very careful with woman under 35 at this moment in history. Most woman under 35 are a liability to themselves and everyone around them.

9
FireannDireach 9 points ago +9 / -0

The ones over 35 aren't that great, either. Just be careful, period.

If I find myself single again, I won't bother looking again. It took too long to find the current one, and if it doesn't work out - fuck it. It's fucking nuts out there. Monk mode.

-1
endthefed11 -1 points ago +2 / -3

If she doesn't suck d***, show her the doorway immediately.

-7
deleted -7 points ago +1 / -8
6
Junkevil 6 points ago +6 / -0

Educated doesn't equate to indoctrinated. Big difference. Women who think critically and use the scientific method make my dick hard.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
-3
deleted -3 points ago +1 / -4
4
Junkevil 4 points ago +4 / -0

How many genders do you educate about in your science class?

0
deleted 0 points ago +1 / -1
1
Klown_Schwab 1 point ago +1 / -0

based

10
Belleoffreedom 10 points ago +10 / -0

My sentiments, exactly.

10
New1account1old1user 10 points ago +10 / -0

Long story short be with a based woman

10
Klown_Schwab 10 points ago +10 / -0

it's a problem there's a big gender divide in politics.

Women disproportionately buy into radical leftism and feminism. Oh and "sexual liberation" they sleep around until they're 30+ before looking for a husband at which point they have emotional baggage and commitment issues and are generally poor wife material.

The abysmal marriage, divorce and birth rates are proof.

8
GlacialSpeed 8 points ago +8 / -0

Stay with a woman that you can give your unlocked phone to worry-free.

She's either WITH you or she's not.

163
deleted 163 points ago +163 / -0
38
Darkheartisland 38 points ago +38 / -0

That's a keeper

15
Kamalas_a_Bitch 15 points ago +15 / -0

You know she’s a keeper if she posts your memes on her Facebook feed.

16
strictly1957 16 points ago +16 / -0

Purest KEK bro (get in here for an Alpha Bear Hug!!!)

12
Proud_NJ_Deplorable 12 points ago +12 / -0

That makes you a great catch.

10
VoteCyborgTrump2040 10 points ago +10 / -0

Did she have a problem with you being a Russian bot?

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
112
beev_bove_biv 112 points ago +112 / -0

"I went looking for shit to bitch about and I found it"

78
TheGreaseman81 78 points ago +78 / -0

The holy pilgrimage for many women.

69
Mishabird 69 points ago +69 / -0

Use your phone as bait if you are thinking of getting serious with anyone.....leave something on it they will have to bring up if they see it......leave phone out and wait a few days.

Find out who is trouble early on and dump them.

26
TheGreaseman81 26 points ago +26 / -0

It's like the modern day version of the test from a Bronx tale.

7
Fenianlad 7 points ago +7 / -0

What’s that like, the Mario test?

11
TheGreaseman81 11 points ago +11 / -0

No, the Sonny test. Although the Mario test is pretty funny.

6
2
Fenianlad 2 points ago +2 / -0

Oh I’m familiar. There was also the “Mario test” that involved a sex act in a car while passing a trucker. Sonny tells C- fuck Mario why do you hang out with those jerkoffs.

11
Saltyminer11 11 points ago +11 / -0

This is a great idea. Or even a way to break up with somebody.

9
kirovri 9 points ago +9 / -0

leave something on it they will have to bring up if they see it

Suggestions?

7
deleted 7 points ago +8 / -1
9
THE_MAGAL0RIAN 9 points ago +9 / -0

Stop funding a company that wants to take away your God-given liberties. Using goolag just gives them more ad revenue they can use against you by donating to commie organizations like BLM or the democrats. Use duckduckgo or startpage instead.

6
deleted 6 points ago +7 / -1
1
SurfingUSA 1 point ago +1 / -0

A less Karen-ish approach to these things might be appropriate among Frens.

1
THE_MAGAL0RIAN 1 point ago +1 / -0

Real frens don’t let frens use goolag.

7
OoooJackieBlue 7 points ago +7 / -0

Porn of any kind, heh, particularly porn featuring ladies who look nothing like them. If she's determined to stir a shitpot, let it be her Pot of Insecurity.

4
txladyvoter 4 points ago +4 / -0

This is truly good advice.

4
Phrazel 4 points ago +4 / -0

Just have this as your wallpaper

https://i.imgflip.com/bcdfg.jpg

26
Dialectic 26 points ago +26 / -0

“Days without autism”

Lmfao

19
Pax11B 19 points ago +20 / -1

Gotta collect em all

18
wacokid 18 points ago +18 / -0

I love sharing the memes I find with my fiancé. We don’t agree on a lot but she still finds humor in them, she knows the truth whether she acknowledges it or not.

17
RiverFenix 17 points ago +17 / -0

"Donald Trump, Don't Trust Chyna, Chyna Asshoe!"

burst out laughing

humour is the anti-liberal.

3
GlockArm 3 points ago +6 / -3

"humour is the anti-liberal."

I point you to the worlds greatest article proving this.

"Comedy has an alt-right problem"

They are humorless, petty, narcissistic cunts at their core.

16
OoooJackieBlue 16 points ago +16 / -0

I don't get into my husband's phone. He's a grown ass man, he doesn't need me to babysit him and make sure he's not looking at naughty things. These crazy bitches might as well get their 100 cats and ugly sweaters now (I see she already has the latter) because that shit won't fly with any guy who still retains ownership of his gonads.

14
comakevin76 14 points ago +15 / -1

Just Red Pill her. Post pics on the wall so she gets used to it. Then go to work on her and I think we all know how to do that here. And sleep with your phone under your pillow like a gun. But put it in the pillowcase so she just cannot reach under and grab it. Very important. Otherwise, she might take your phone and start looking at Pepe even more. Then what? How do you compete with that?

7
RiverFenix 7 points ago +7 / -0

you dont compete with that

you change gender

3
comakevin76 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yeah, I guess try some shit and see what happens. Do you think they will send me to someplace special? LOL

1
RiverFenix 1 point ago +1 / -0

yes, but make sure they don't assume your gender, bigots

13
trumpmixtape 13 points ago +13 / -0

"I think my boyfriend might be a nazi"

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
8
PKShadilay 8 points ago +8 / -0

I guess I'll need to register my music collection as an assualt meme. I have different versions of Pepe to represent my music folders in PowerAmp:

https://files.catbox.moe/r33ref.jpg https://files.catbox.moe/b5fn9a.jpg https://files.catbox.moe/h2j4y4.jpg https://files.catbox.moe/gtduun.jpg

5
ThisIsHowItStarts 5 points ago +5 / -0

Fucking cunt shouldn’t be snooping through her boyfriends phone. And I am a woman. If you can’t trust your man, you shouldn’t be with him. Cunt

4
JayMW 4 points ago +4 / -0

If my wife went through my phone, which she wouldn't, she'd send the Pepes to her phone.

3
strictly1957 3 points ago +3 / -0

Gold Medal Meme magic Fren... High Art!!!

3
SirReginald 3 points ago +3 / -0

where can I get my hands on those Memes?

3
MindsetRoulette 3 points ago +3 / -0

I put messed up stuff on my phone/computer just to teach people a lesson about going through someone else's things. If you go looking, you're going to see some shit you can't unsee.

3
Ch138 3 points ago +4 / -1

Women are just as bad.

I dont think my wife knows how much of a constitutionalist I am. We never discuss politics as, her knowledge comes from tiktok.

2
Fox19 2 points ago +2 / -0

Right pic looks almost exactly like my downloaded image folder lol

2
WarOfTheFanboys 2 points ago +2 / -0

Any sources on some of those rare Pepes? Specifically the spaceship one and Days Without Autism. Thanks, frens.

2
BoerboelMummy 2 points ago +2 / -0

My other half probably has more pepes on her phone than I do on mine

2
myballsnmyword 2 points ago +2 / -0

PePe Love.

2
magnokor 2 points ago +2 / -0

Like the bunker in Norway that stores all the seeds.

This telephone is where all the rare Pepes are kept.

2
Auroraalpha 2 points ago +2 / -0

Add this to the growing list of "curse those based Trump supporters for being so sexy" articles. We've already had endless "damn, i slept with a Trump supporter, the sex was great!" articles...

1
Mier 1 point ago +1 / -0

That’s the best way to find your shit on the doorstep.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
DX5_ 1 point ago +1 / -0

My old phone actually looked like this back when I was more active on TD.

1
lventox 1 point ago +1 / -0

Hahahahah this is so exquisite and amazing. Does anyone have access to all of those photos?

1
lexican_kristdottir 1 point ago +1 / -0

Imagine some chick going through all his music vids of AJ haha. Couldn't handle the raw power

1
preludelinux 1 point ago +1 / -0

Jeez just wait to they find out the Spicy memes my wife puts on the phone.

1
Coolgenner 1 point ago +1 / -0

Snooping bitch. Hope she choked on it.

1
strictly1957 1 point ago +1 / -0

Beware of "The Karen" lads... it'll end in tears for sure!

1
dagoat4l 1 point ago +1 / -0

My wf knows whats on mine. I dont hide it from here. But shes not an alt left crazy.

1
VoteCyborgTrump2040 1 point ago +1 / -0

Damn boy, he thick.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
4touchdownbundy 1 point ago +1 / -0

Oh I have many more rare pepes that would make the gf cringe.

-22
deleted -22 points ago +7 / -29
26
bitcoiner 26 points ago +26 / -0

Yeah keep all your data in the cloud (that is, The Party's servers) or you are a dumbass, sure!

Not your computer, not your data. They will cut you off and steal your date in a second, just like they did with WikiLeaks, Parler and others.

26
TrumpAndGodWin 26 points ago +26 / -0

DAYS without Autism

0

5
Donger-Lord2 5 points ago +7 / -2

That must reset very often.

4
Saltyminer11 4 points ago +4 / -0

Wapner in 5 minutes

16
RuleoVicus 16 points ago +16 / -0

Retard.

"Oh knows I saved a Pepe meme on my phone, that means I'm a gurrl!!"

6
deleted 6 points ago +7 / -1
6
Shamb3 6 points ago +6 / -0

Well in this day and age my links to patriots.win, Breitbart, the conservative tree house etc might give a media / popular cultrue saturated Woman the vapors.

Her Lesbian English professor told her that Steven Crowder is racist / sexist for wanting to debate them about their closely held political-religous beliefs.