She put a thumb in my lady garden and then another. I gasped as she put yet another thumb into my Cleopatra cavern, and then she inserted two more of her thumbs of color as my underground railroad ached and stretched to accommodate one more of her thumbs, which refused to go deeper. As this Rosa Parks of thumbs lingered near the front, my passionate lover of color and size breathlessly quizzed me through her many COVID masks, 'I bet you've never had this many thumbs in you before now, huh?' I moaned through my own mask before sexifully replying 'I have not had this many thumbs in me before as well.' then I had a girl orgasm.
I always joke with my friends about lesbians scissoring. One of my friends is a porn agent and he always says, “you know lesbians don’t really scissor in real life, that’s just porn.” And I’m always like, “Nahhh. They’re scissoring.” My other friend has lots of lesbian friends and I always ask her if they scissor in front of her. I just think it’s funny. If I had a vagina, I would want to scissor.
"Never wave at a stranger, because what if they don't have a hand? Then you just look cocky. 'Look what I got motherfucker. I'm gonna go pick something up!’" - Mitch Hedberg
So cringy. People eat this shit up though, I don’t understand and I will never try to understand. I’ll just offer helicopter rides when the time comes.
This makes me think of Billy Madison at the triathlon. “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
No such thing as a skinny soy latte. A grande frappucino is plain frap roast, milk, and plain binder it is not even orderable. No flavor and what 6 year old is allowed caffeine? Starbucks stopped writing on cups ages ago. The name space on the computer won’t handle the soliloquy this child would have no chance of reciting. It’s ridiculous and this guy deserves mockery and an investigation from the parent police. Ridiculous and horrible in my opinion. And yes I work at starbucks because dropping maga truth bombs is a cheap thrill. Petty, I know.
I try to tell my co-workers this is the kind of shit that I just can't stand. That these people are demented and have no right to vote.
They blow it off as "it's just a joke, clearly"
To which I reply back. "IS IT THOUGH??? The real problem is I can't fucking tell anymore because there ARE people this dumb, this arrogantly righteous, and they sure as shit don't have an IQ higher than a pickle. AND THEY ARE VOTING FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO MY TAX DOLLARS IN MY COUNTRY."
They are nice guys, the guys I work with, but shit are they stupid.
If they're going to write fiction at least try to make it believable.
Gender aware 6 year old is like a vegetarian cat. We all know they did not make that decision theirselves .
... then she finished eating her watermelon just in time to take out the hot sauce from her purse to yell “oh no she did’unt!”
This person also writes lesbian erotica in her spare time.
The writing is about as good as this post.
🤣 😂
Did you write that or did you find it on her Lady Blog?
Sadly I wrote it, but I defy you to find the difference between that and top quality, grade A, third-wave lesbian erotica.
Lol. Thank you for this hilarious moment. I scared my dog, I laughed so hard.
All it was missing is the scissoring.
I always joke with my friends about lesbians scissoring. One of my friends is a porn agent and he always says, “you know lesbians don’t really scissor in real life, that’s just porn.” And I’m always like, “Nahhh. They’re scissoring.” My other friend has lots of lesbian friends and I always ask her if they scissor in front of her. I just think it’s funny. If I had a vagina, I would want to scissor.
I give you a thumbs up for that paragraph. If you keep it up- you can definitely find a job writing for CNN.
That's the dream!
...and then one of her hungry cats woke her up.
lol, who gives 6 year olds coffee?
That's how 6 year olds get the energy to swing Starbucks lounge chairs over their heads.
That reads like satire
It is.
High quality stuff lol
How unwoke. Tsk tsk. Next time hand wave instead of applause. Grossly discriminatory to persons of different hearing.
"Never wave at a stranger, because what if they don't have a hand? Then you just look cocky. 'Look what I got motherfucker. I'm gonna go pick something up!’" - Mitch Hedberg
What about blind gender aware..persons?!?!
Yes, clapping is triggering, You are supposed to tap your first finger and thumb together.
So cringy. People eat this shit up though, I don’t understand and I will never try to understand. I’ll just offer helicopter rides when the time comes.
😳
😂🤣
HAHAHAHAHAHANA
Newfags can't triforce
That's almost as ancient as Nancy Pelosi
Still updooted tho
I wasn't entirely sure what you were going for so I went with a classic
What even is gender aware?
Retarded
Bahahhaha
Molestation victim
What happens at the mole station?
I think the writer of this was intending it to be satire.
They were, right?
No way they were blind enough to think otherwise.
I was thinking the same. The timeline we are living in makes it hard to differentiate though!
Biden winning honestly is more believable than this.
This person is bound to be sitting on a way-too-tall chair on Dr. Phil soon enough.
She is a clear liar (too many details are often a sign). Now we know what her dreams look like when she sleeps, how scary.
this is worse than the fweedoooom of kamala lol, pathetic
I didn't do any of that shit, my name is "Mr. Sorry, not Sorry" Now just give me my fucking coffee already.
At this point, I’m kinda surprised the author didn’t go with the name “Fweedom” for this fiction piece.
🤪😂🤣🤪😂🤣🤪😂🤣
WTF Did I just waste my time reading
This makes me think of Billy Madison at the triathlon. “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
They fact that you probably posted this whole thing without having to look it up shows just how hysterical that line was/is.
This is a top notch shitposting/satire account.
the person isn't writing this to try to seriously claim it, it's satire
Your name is really Liar liar pants on fire.
Look for this exact scene to show up in some Dinsey+ or Netflix kids show.
It's not good for us to cater to these people's delusions. It won't end well for them or us.
.. and that is all this is. Delusional fantasies of people that should be in psychiatric care and not on the internet.
If anyone actually believes this happened then they have a legitimate mental disorder.
These fucking people are an absolute cancer to our society and they need to KNOW IT REPEATEDLY.
A small peek into the psychosis of the left. I honestly believe that these people actually believe their own bullshit
I stopped reading the first sentence when I saw the green hair.
That... that is a shitload of cringe.
Talk about privilege, a 6 year old is ordering a grande Frappuccino from Starbucks!
This reads like someone intentionally writing satire.
This is the worst religion ever
I mean, giving a 6 year old coffee, you’re already a piece of shit before the fake story.
This is troll right? No way this is real. Anita's Hall of Social Justice? Sounds like something my boomer dad writes to troll liberals on Facebook.
Literally included a "then everyone clapped."
This is a masterful troll. Would love to meet this person!
RACIST stereotype of black woman customer in that story
i just puked a little in my mouth...
Bullshit......bullshit......bullshit! What 6 year old even knows those words. Why do people make up these ridiculous lies?
Poe's Law??!?
I can't even, any more. I just want off this fucking clown world ride.
No such thing as a skinny soy latte. A grande frappucino is plain frap roast, milk, and plain binder it is not even orderable. No flavor and what 6 year old is allowed caffeine? Starbucks stopped writing on cups ages ago. The name space on the computer won’t handle the soliloquy this child would have no chance of reciting. It’s ridiculous and this guy deserves mockery and an investigation from the parent police. Ridiculous and horrible in my opinion. And yes I work at starbucks because dropping maga truth bombs is a cheap thrill. Petty, I know.
I love how even in their /r/thathappened fan fiction they engage in casual child abuse. Who the fuck lets their kids drink coffee?
I try to tell my co-workers this is the kind of shit that I just can't stand. That these people are demented and have no right to vote. They blow it off as "it's just a joke, clearly"
To which I reply back. "IS IT THOUGH??? The real problem is I can't fucking tell anymore because there ARE people this dumb, this arrogantly righteous, and they sure as shit don't have an IQ higher than a pickle. AND THEY ARE VOTING FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO MY TAX DOLLARS IN MY COUNTRY."
They are nice guys, the guys I work with, but shit are they stupid.
My sides hahaha
So weird, exact same thing happened but my daughter was 5 at the time so.... you know.... do better with you kid.
This person is serious, and also lying.
Based in Australia....
Best part
Trannies like this person don't live in reality.
I started beating off about 1/3 of the way through. By the time I got to the end I looked like Stan Marsh getting ectoplasmed!