The stubborn “elite” of the South were in deep denial about slavery. They kept pushing for its expansion into Free land and in contested space like Bleeding Kansas. Forcing Northerners to help seize escaped slaves and return them to the South is an infamous example of their overreach. Most Southerners did not own slaves and the institution was actually bad for most people and ultimately most plantation owners.

As for waiting the South out- well they didn’t want that route. We probably all agree the war was a horror, but the blame has to lie mostly with the slavers.