Today was "Read Across America" day, held every March 2 since 1998 in honor of Dr. Seuss, who taught millions of American children to read through fun books and colorful illustrations. Apparently, some of them were a bit too colorful. This year, Dr. Seuss is being canceled, despite the day being originally chosen to honor him. Today would have been Theodor Geisel's 117th birthday.
Current CCP Chief Diplomat and Former Vice President Joe Biden today broke with tradition by not mentioning Dr. Seuss in his proclaimation of the event. Instead, he pointed out that reading helps reduce the chances of developing cognitive disorders such as Alzheimer's. If only young Joe would have spent more time reading and less time touching his uncle's hairy legs, maybe he'd know where he is right now.
In light of recent pressure from a left-wing educators group, the family of Dr. Seuss has ceased publication and licensing of six titles. Five of them are in the "29 Classic Seuss" books, including two which were widely popular: And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street (1964) and If I Ran the Zoo (1950). The three other classics were McElligot's Pool (1947), On Beyond Zebra! (1955), and Scrambled Eggs, Super! (1953). The Cat's Quizzer (1976) is a more recent "Beginner Book" which also got the axe.
Even though these claims go back to at least 1988, the group claimed these "racial undertones" have only been revealed through recent research. No one seems to know or care who is doing that kind of research, but here's what those books all have in common. Many classic Seuss books are just a huge list of different kind of fantastical creatures, with beautiful watercolor artwork depicting them. In these banned books, some of these creatures were from real places, and the artwork included people from those places. Dr. Seuss drew their features in his whimsical art style, so now we can't say his name anymore.
This is just another example of how the liberals hate us and want to cancel the American values that we stand for. Do not forget what they will do if left unchecked. Do not let the CCP get anywhere near your buttholes or anywhere near your children.
Also, we had some wins today across the country today as Texas gets rid of the mask mandate, Wyoming passes mandatory voter ID, and Maricopa County surrenders to the Arizona State Senate.
So wish Dr. Seuss a Happy Birthday, and turn it up for the Late Night Crew. Here's the songs that cancel culture will be coming for next:
" If only young Joe would have spent more time reading and less time touching his uncle's hairy legs, maybe he'd know where he is right now."
OMG I'm doing a George Floyd right now. I CANT BREATHE troloolololollo