1363
SHEEEEEEEEEEIT 🌯 (media.patriots.win)
posted ago by burrito ago by burrito +1373 / -10
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16
residue69 16 points ago +16 / -0

Wow. The only time I've ever caught a STD in my 40 years of having sex was after a one night stand with a girl that was seeing a college basketball player. I don't know what race he was, but if I had to bet on it.

Edit: I forgot about the time I got crabs from a sofa. Never had sex with the owner of the sofa, but I discovered she was seeing a couple of black guys later. I think they stole the hubs and trim rings off my '79 Corvette after I ran into all of them at a club.

14
bubadmt 14 points ago +14 / -0

I once got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in my bathing suit.

12
Just1voter 12 points ago +12 / -0

Was the seat black?

5
MrZ211 5 points ago +5 / -0

"Alright thats it for me, goodnight everybody!"

4
bubadmt 4 points ago +4 / -0

K-UGER!

4
milktoastfencesitter 4 points ago +4 / -0

But did you have sex with the sofa?

2
residue69 2 points ago +2 / -0

It was a weird deal. I came home with her after a fund raiser and discovered she had two kids. They were sitting on the sofa with the babysitter. I was just a pup and this kind of spoiled the mood for me. I sat on the sofa for about 30 seconds before I split while she was putting the kids to bed.

Everyone in that house had to have crabs cause the ones I killed the next week were monsters. Looked just like this guy.