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mailinvoter 80 points ago +80 / -0

Anonymous sources close to the understanding of Biden's thought process informed me that the bombing was delayed until Biden is able to investigate the age and cuteness of the children in question. Biden was heard from two rooms away by someone unrelated to the source stating "We need to make sure we do not waste 'good meat' and must bring the children to the White House basement for enhanced interogations".

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Formerleftist 17 points ago +18 / -1

Another anonymous source claimed he was aggressively masturbating while saying that