2406
Comments (62)
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36
FinlandForTrump 36 points ago +37 / -1

''Oh you mean that AR-15. As a matter of fact, it was stolen by a rogue grizzly few weeks ago. He used it to set up an Autonomous Zone in the nearby fo...fuck. He shot another one.''

15
TangerineShine 15 points ago +16 / -1

Funny, right after mine fell into the river, a damn Sasquatch came running out of the woods, jumped in and recovered my bag of firearms. He flicked me off and ran into the woods.

Why didn’t I report them stolen? Well I didn’t have any evidence so I just proceeded like it was business as usual. Like nothing happened.

21
Donkeyballs 21 points ago +21 / -0

There was no standing to report them stolen

5
WU_HAN_FRU 5 points ago +5 / -0

Laches.

3
slangin_paint 3 points ago +3 / -0

Actually...that was me. Sorry , man. Bad trip.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
Thethethe 2 points ago +2 / -0

Like nothing happened at all.

8
Indianapede 8 points ago +8 / -0

Can I just register them under a neighbors name I don’t like. Just say I sold them all to him and do the paperwork?

31
GrandDaddyMemesGhost 31 points ago +31 / -0

Lost mine sailing somewhere over the Mariana Trench. Maybe Ghislaine can loan you her submarine since she isn't trafficking kids with it right now.

22
Toughsky_Shitsky 22 points ago +22 / -0

All mine are at the bottom of Lake Jesup.

You can google it for a description.

Happy diving, fuckos!

9
deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
3
deleted 3 points ago +3 / -0
17
SummTingWong 17 points ago +17 / -0

My guns were all lost in a tragic volcanic exploration accident :(

16
JudicialDredd 16 points ago +16 / -0

ATF should only be the name of a gas station.

3
LesboPregnancyScare 3 points ago +3 / -0

ATFFFB

Alcohol Tobacco Firearms Fuel Fireworks Bait

14
OPsMom 14 points ago +14 / -0

Haha... funny.. but unlike you all, I actually lost mine in a boating accident. But I don't remember, when, which lake or ocean or really anything about the accident. I do remember Hillary testifying that she doesn't recall even more stuff than I don't.

12
Fuck_The_NWO 12 points ago +12 / -0

Memory is a sketchy thing and I mean, if I can't recall it 100% I'd rather not lie to you guys with a 90% truth. So I don't recall anything, sorry.

10
QuickMaths 10 points ago +10 / -0

I heard a lot of gun owners have had boating mishaps near the Mariana Trench.

10
TheCremaster 10 points ago +10 / -0

Screw that. Granted I live in a rural area but if they passed that shit in HR 127 instead of registration forms for my guns they are getting a letter that says come and take them. Saying you lost them is the quintessential example of not standing up for liberty.

7
Fuck_The_NWO 7 points ago +7 / -0

^

If you have to say you lost them, then you really did because you'll never use them.

2
TheCremaster 2 points ago +2 / -0

Your god damn right I'm using them if someone comes to my house to shit on the constitution. Marching off to a civil war that would lose support and the moral highground for our cause are a bit different than defending ones own home and liberty.

1
hallway_monitor 1 point ago +1 / -0

The RIGHT of the people to keep and bear arms SHALL NOT be infringed.

A right is not a privilege. A right is fundamental, and as such we have no obligation to report, register, or limit our freedom. A drivers license is a privilege, and as such, subject to regulations. Fuck this whole lost it in a boating accident bullshit.

8
TaxDollarsHardAtWork 8 points ago +8 / -0

ATF = All Transexual Faggots

3
inspir3dgenius 3 points ago +3 / -0

Kek

6
Smdlegend 6 points ago +6 / -0

Off the Atlantic coast, bout 20 miles...somewhere...

5
BingusCombat 5 points ago +5 / -0

On a related story, I went to the fish tables (place where blacks gamble all their money away frivolously on a computer game) with my black friend from ages ago.

We ended up talking politics and I kid you not, he said black people created all this technology around us and white people stole it. I shit you not, they believe that. I said at one point "man it's time to move from slavery man, it is what it is but we should move on" and he said "nah fuck that" so I said "Well then we can't share a country" and he says "ok when yall leaving?"

So then I win like $150 on the fish tables, hand him $20 for really doing nothing since it was my money.

Then at one point we stop at a convenience store and he's acting pissy. I go in and I guess he takes my pistol from my glove compartment at that point. When I drop him off I go to check to make sure it's there and it's fucking gone. I call him and he says "Man nobody took your gun" and shit. I call the police and show them where I dropped him off and told them where he lives.

Feels like nothing is happening, a detective calls me a week or so later. At one point I say "I'm gonna confront him" and the cop says not to (not the detective, I had a cop and a detective). Maybe like 2-3 weeks later I get a call. They arrested him and recovered my pistol. They got evidence for a search warrant and caught him. He still had the gun on him, lmao. What a fucking moron. He's catching 3 gun-related felonies now.

5
RememberKosciuszko [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

This right here is a description of a filthiest jogging rigger I have ever heard!

5
Just_An_Idahoan 5 points ago +5 / -0

Lost my AR-17 during an unfortunate bob sledding accident. 😌

4
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 4 points ago +4 / -0

Serious question... If an ATF glowie goes scuba diving, and sees a dog fish, does he murder it?

4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
4
Trunalimunumaprzur 4 points ago +4 / -0

No, the other ocean.

4
p1smo 4 points ago +4 / -0

Scuba Steve! DAMN YOU!

3
RailroadWildflower 3 points ago +3 / -0

I hope they don’t check Devil’s Swamp Lake, in Louisiana. That’s where I keep my entire arsenal of explosives and high powered automatic assault rifles for safekeeping and quick retrieval.

3
LordHandshake 3 points ago +3 / -0

My guns hung themselves in a prison cell while the cameras were malfunctioning and the guards were sleeping or having sex. I can't be sure about that last detail until the book deal is finished.

3
quiznossucks1 3 points ago +3 / -0

mine is right here in my arms......come and take it ......pussy

3
Amaroq64 3 points ago +3 / -0

I think I was boating over the Marianas Trench when I heard a "sploosh" sound and mah gun was gone!

2
christianknight 2 points ago +2 / -0

3 letter scum

2
MagaHippie88 2 points ago +2 / -0

Blahaha.... fna... yo shhhh..... Na THIS shit is Fuckin hilarious!!!!!! Well done pede!!! GOLD <3 MAGA2021

2
MagaHippie88 2 points ago +2 / -0

Ps needs to b a patch ASAP <3 MAGA2021

2
Stallionstyle 2 points ago +2 / -0

Funny how they didn't buy into draining the swamp until now....

2
Klaus73 2 points ago +2 / -0

My guns are with the dominion machine audit logs...

2
IamDEMONetIZED 2 points ago +2 / -0

THAT IS A RAYCUST & MISOGYNISTIC LOGO! THAT IS A CAUCASIAN MALE!

2
Btcox 2 points ago +2 / -0

Hey ATF, we are Still waiting on that official report from Atlanta an the Harrison Deal car explosion, fuckers.

2
RabidZoo 2 points ago +3 / -1

Quick! Someone jam a potato in his snorkel! I know where you can find one!

1
Fuck_The_NWO 1 point ago +1 / -0

Imagine being such a faggot that you work for a government agency designed to destroy the constitution that people have fought and died for.

1
BamaMAGA 1 point ago +1 / -0

Get an inside waistband holster and get used to it.

1
BlueKentuckyGirl 1 point ago +1 / -0

Oh yeah!

1
Donkeyballs 1 point ago +1 / -0

I don’t fish for marlins or tuna! I fish for assault rifles and tactical gear!

1
Indianapede 1 point ago +1 / -0

Unfortunate volcano accident.

1
ViduusMAGA 1 point ago +1 / -0

You’re all rookies...

Hide them in Antifa members. Feds can’t seem to see them.

2 birds - 1 stone.

1
Nancypelosisoldliver 1 point ago +1 / -0

The atf is full of morons who can't read, change my mind. They should be allowed to enforce parking tickets they're all such massive fools

1
entERmyMAtrix 1 point ago +1 / -0

I left mine in the rover that went to Mars by accident. My bad.

1
Gadbous 1 point ago +1 / -0

Can you scuba dive in 2700 feet of water?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Trumpsfuturemustache 1 point ago +1 / -0

Well sir, if you were aware of the climate crisis us human beings are facing you would understand that the lake that my arsenal disappeared at is now dried. Not because China owned companies are stealing water from America in staggering quantities. It was because the planet is heating itself up and it has no way to release the CO2 gases. Definitely not because of China."

1
ThomasWashington 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lucky for me I only buy water soluble guns so they’re part of the fishies now

2
RememberKosciuszko [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

YOU'RE TURNING THE FROGS BASED!!!

1
ThomasWashington 1 point ago +1 / -0

Those frogs were based when I got there sir. The Budweiser frogs were going Trans-Gen-Der and I shouted 40% suicide rate and they cheered

1
f_bastiat 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'll be sailing over the Mariana Trench this week, good luck fighting Kaiju on your way to investigate my lost guns, let me know when you find them.

1
champdog 1 point ago +1 / -0

Rats!!!

1
RedPillMAGALegend 1 point ago +1 / -0

Downdoot👎🏻