It's surreal to think that two years ago I had hope for the future and finally felt I had any value for the first time in my life. I finally had a purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning. I had goals, actual goals, for my degrees, my career, what state I wanted to move to after graduation, an idea what kind of guy I wanted to marry, a family, everything. I had hope for a LIFE.
Now this week I get another email update from my university head saying that even fall will not be a return to normal. 50% of classes will be hybrid if they're smaller in class size and the purely lecture-hall style big classes will still be 100% online (which is 25% of all the classes available at the university). I don't learn through online means, I never have. All my classes are this lecture-hall style because of the classes for my major being so popular/needed (economics).
I'm 33 in early April. I've already had one year of my life wasted with these lockdowns and now it's going to be two years according to the university system. The head of the university spit in our faces and said in the email that he had no idea what the economic consequences of the lockdowns and college shutdowns would be, but he's still doubling down and refusing to allow us to return to normal. Still mandatory masking; still mandatory China Virus testing every two weeks. He claims he's keeping everyone "safe", but he refuses to see the only thing he's keeping us safe from is a decent life. He's harming those of us that don't need or want his protection, but authoritarians never see it that way.
He even said that he is pressuring the state government to include college students in the group of people who should have access to the vaccine. This is a huge hint that this guy is very VERY likely to require this in order to return to campus and he'll magically reopen the campus once students can be vaccinated. People haven't been allowed to make our own decisions about our health and safety, this head won't suddenly change that now.
So I went from everything improving in life in ways I thought were just fantasy, to now I'm in a state of being where I'm back to wondering why I should bother getting out of bed or if I should bother waking up. I know how much I'm capable of now after the good times Trump gave us, but it's all gone now and people are fighting to keep it that way. I'm back to having no path forward and very likely to end up like my mom and barely making ends meet. That's no life especially when I know how much I could have had. It's a difference between day and night only I have no chance at going back into the light.
It's surreal to think that two years ago I had hope for the future and finally felt I had any value for the first time in my life. I finally had a purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning. I had goals, actual goals, for my degrees, my career, what state I wanted to move to after graduation, an idea what kind of guy I wanted to marry, a family, everything. I had hope for a LIFE.
Now this week I get another email update from my university head saying that even fall will not be a return to normal. 50% of classes will be hybrid if they're smaller in class size and the purely lecture-hall style big classes will still be 100% online (which is 25% of all the classes available at the university). I don't learn through online means, I never have. All my classes are this lecture-hall style because of the classes for my major being so popular/needed (economics).
I'm 33 in early April. I've already had one year of my life wasted with these lockdowns and now it's going to be two years according to the university system. The head of the university spit in our faces and said in the email that he had no idea what the economic consequences of the lockdowns and college shutdowns would be, but he's still doubling down and refusing to allow us to return to normal. Still mandatory masking; still mandatory China Virus testing every two weeks. He claims he's keeping everyone "safe", but he refuses to see the only thing he's keeping us safe from is a decent life. He's harming those of us that don't need or want his protection, but authoritarians never see it that way.
He even said that he is pressuring the state government to include college students in the group of people who should have access to the vaccine. This is a huge hint that this guy is very VERY likely to require this in order to return to campus and he'll magically reopen the campus once students can be vaccinated. People haven't been allowed to make our own decisions about our health and safety, this head won't suddenly change that now.
So I went from everything improving in life in ways I thought were just fantasy, to now I'm in a state of being where I'm back to wondering why I should bother getting out of bed or if I should bother waking up. I know how much I'm capable of now after the good times Trump gave us, but it's all gone now and people are fighting to keep it that way. I'm back to having no path forward and very likely to end up like my mom and barely making ends meet. That's no life especially when I know how much I could have had. It's a difference between day and night only I have no chance at going back into the light.
:(