I made my grandson cry today for 2 hours because he wanted me to tie his shoe for him. He is nearly 7 years old. I simply told him he cannot go outside until he can tie his own shoe.
He cried for a while, then tied his own shoes (horribly but meh) and asked politely to go outside. I gave him a HUGE hug and told him that he was good for taking care of himself and sent him outside to play with the neighbors for hours.
I was babysitting my ex's nephews one day while he was deployed in Iraq and she had informed me that the eldest (who was thirteen at the time and could be violently hyper) was to be put in time out for ten minutes if he started acting up, and the timer had to restart if he spoke or left his corner during that time. Sure enough, he got wild after losing a video game, so I put him in time out. Five minutes later he started wheedling, asking how much longer it would be and promising to behave. I simply asked, in a tone that brooked no dissent, if he remembered the rules. He shut up and did his time. When his punishment was over he gave me a hug and told me he loved me. Unlike his mother, who always caved because it made her feel bad, I had actually expected him to act like a man. What he wanted was coddling. What he needed was self-discipline. And he knew it. My job wasn't to make him feel better, it was to raise him right. If you want to grow up you've got to learn how to take care of yourself. That's nature's law, not mine. What boggles the mind is how so many kids can get all the way through college without learning this lesson.
"It's your job to make me comfortable" is the cry of an infant.
I made my grandson cry today for 2 hours because he wanted me to tie his shoe for him. He is nearly 7 years old. I simply told him he cannot go outside until he can tie his own shoe.
He cried for a while, then tied his own shoes (horribly but meh) and asked politely to go outside. I gave him a HUGE hug and told him that he was good for taking care of himself and sent him outside to play with the neighbors for hours.
I was babysitting my ex's nephews one day while he was deployed in Iraq and she had informed me that the eldest (who was thirteen at the time and could be violently hyper) was to be put in time out for ten minutes if he started acting up, and the timer had to restart if he spoke or left his corner during that time. Sure enough, he got wild after losing a video game, so I put him in time out. Five minutes later he started wheedling, asking how much longer it would be and promising to behave. I simply asked, in a tone that brooked no dissent, if he remembered the rules. He shut up and did his time. When his punishment was over he gave me a hug and told me he loved me. Unlike his mother, who always caved because it made her feel bad, I had actually expected him to act like a man. What he wanted was coddling. What he needed was self-discipline. And he knew it. My job wasn't to make him feel better, it was to raise him right. If you want to grow up you've got to learn how to take care of yourself. That's nature's law, not mine. What boggles the mind is how so many kids can get all the way through college without learning this lesson.
All kids need boundaries and rules. All kids need attention from parents.
Physiatrists call it the ‘soggy potato chip rule’ A kid will accept a soggy chip if there are no fresh ones available.
It’s the same with attention. If all they can get is bad attention for being a little snot, they are gonna be little snots.
(SIDEBAR: my phone tried to correct my spelling of snots to antifa!😆)
Love and affection for good actions. Bad actions, nip it in the bud!