It's time to turn those frowns upside down, pedes. Instead of being horrified by the bumbling idiocy of the Resident, let us turn his occasional handler-approved appearances into a fun and exciting game/rally.

I hereby present: The Resident Xiden Press Conference Rally Game

To play the game, all you need is a large bottle of alcohol. Any kind will do. Just make sure it's full when you start.

WARNING: Best to play this game at home and after work hours!!!!

Rules: The objective of the game is to be the last person to pass out drunk, or, in the case of a tie or lack of ability to tell who is conscious, count the number of points accrued.

Below are the consumption quantities required:

1. Resident Xiden tells a lie: No shot; no points. (Game would end too quickly.)
2. Resident Xiden blames Trump: 1/4 shot; 1/4 point.
3. Resident Xiden forgets/mispronounces someone's name: 1/2 shot; 1/2 point.
4. Resident Xiden mumbles something unintelligible: 1/2 shot; 1/2 point.
5. Resident Xiden calls Vice Resident Cumswalla his wife: 1 shot; 1 point.
6. Resident Xiden mentions Hunter: Pull your pants down and pour alcohol on your genitals; 5 points.
7. Resident Xiden falls down, trips, or stumbles: Drink 1/2 of bottle or whatever is remaining; 10 points. If no alcohol remains, procure more before continuing.
8. Resident Xiden resigns: smash bottle over head; ALL PLAYERS LOSE.
9. Press is asked to leave: put bottle away; if you're still conscious YOU WIN!

Winners get to dance to the YMCA; Losers must go on 1 date with a tranny