Kroger, America's largest supermarket chain, shutters stores after Los Angeles passes +$5/hr hazard pay ordinance for essential workers
(www.theguardian.com)
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no, leaving stress at work is not up to the individual, it's up to the job. Financial advisor? Sure, you go home and you've done what you can do for the day. A software engineer working 14 hour days to meet an unrealistic deadline, sorry, you don't just shut that off when you go home. You're thinking about the next day and everything you need to get done. As for the gas station job, getting called into work isn't stressful. It's annoying, not stressful.
Sounds like you are working wrong. Also, you are in demand, you don't need to be worked like a rented mule. You have those hours and that stress because you allow it.
If I was working wrong then the other 8 developers were working wrong as well. It wasn't all the time, but rushing to get a product out for a fiscal year or trying to beat a competitor or having a product ready for a tradeshow required extra effort. Before you say "you chose that life", that's not the point. My original point was that career jobs can bring the stress home. Ask any salesman who has a quota to meet.
Fair enough. I work in the same general field though and I don't stress. But if you are compensated for the stress and you have an arrangement you like, there is nothing wrong with that.